I feel.....happy?

[Adrift]

Sad to say, I'm surprised I'm saying this...but for past maybe month or so, I feel like I've had a somewhat dramatic shift in my attitude/emotions, and I'm not sure I can explain it. I've felt depressed for a long time...I'm 21 years old and have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was about 16, I've even felt borderline suicidal at times.

But something's different. I don't know what it is...nothing in my life has changed dramatically. But I think I'm finally to the point where I'm sold on the idea that mental positivity fosters physical positivity. Lately, whenever I wake up, I write down a few things that I want to happen for the day, and have had very good results (though I didn't get everything...)

I think I've finally discovered the key to my personal happiness...to stay on top of my work/school commitments, to be ME and never lose sight of how awesome I am (haha), and to just be happy because that's the way I prefer to feel. I just want to BE...no more thinking from now on, lol!

Sorry if this was long and pointless. I just felt like sharing.

[themaster]

Thanks for sharing.. I'm happy for you.. :hug3:

Yah, know happiness in the 80's and 90's for me was.. I was just wondering around and then I'd suddenly like to whistle.. and then I knew I was happy.. lol

These days.. happiness is becoming or is.. a constant state for me.. :smile: a walking around space..

[Enya]

Well done! You've opened the door and walked through... now build on your insights and continue the adventure. Heal. LIVE. :hug3:

[spirit72]

I think the warm weather helps to, many of us especially the UK, have just crawled out from under the winter blues blanket and found a new spring in there step, I no I have:D

[Mind's Eye]

It's always good to hear when someone has these kinds of breakthroughs.. Keep on the path, there is no doubt more light ahead.

[Emmalevine]

I'm pleased for you :smile:

[Gem]

Sad to say, I'm surprised I'm saying this...but for past maybe month or so, I feel like I've had a somewhat dramatic shift in my attitude/emotions, and I'm not sure I can explain it. I've felt depressed for a long time...I'm 21 years old and have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was about 16, I've even felt borderline suicidal at times.

But something's different. I don't know what it is...nothing in my life has changed dramatically. But I think I'm finally to the point where I'm sold on the idea that mental positivity fosters physical positivity. Lately, whenever I wake up, I write down a few things that I want to happen for the day, and have had very good results (though I didn't get everything...)

I think I've finally discovered the key to my personal happiness...to stay on top of my work/school commitments, to be ME and never lose sight of how awesome I am (haha), and to just be happy because that's the way I prefer to feel. I just want to BE...no more thinking from now on, lol!

Sorry if this was long and pointless. I just felt like sharing.

Thank God the teens are over ay?

[Orbie]

Hi Adrift, not long and pointless at all. That was a powerful post and you should be very very proud of yourself for putting it out there. Remember what you learned during those times and you wont go far wrong. Great stuff!! Love O x

[Adrift]

Thank God the teens are over ay?

Heh, yep...it took a couple years to rebuild my confidence after graduating high school haha. If there's one time in life where your insecurities can eat you alive...I feel like I missed out on a lot because of that. But I know I learned a lot too.

[Silver]

I like hearing you say those things, I think people can drift in and out of that steady, balanced, focused phase during their lives, but they're "Go" moments, and just enjoy this blessed insight of yours.

[Ciqala]

In my past I never felt true happiness, and was diagnosed with clinical depression and Bi Polar disorder, abused intoxication to self-remedy my relentless emotion of nothingness and desolation, fed off a false high of artificial happiness for years.

I remember clearly the first day I encountered true happiness and bliss, I was actually in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle, when it stopped, and I stepped out I could barely stand, a random thought “what is this?” and then my insights were forever changed. A beginning insight of how perfectly easy… it was to release all things anchoring me down. How easy it was to release everything and be freed into love and happiness. A wide scope, of all the false labels stuck on me, my shadows, even the labels of mental illness that had haunted me my whole life, could just be gone, if I let go of them, that they were not truth. I had an insight of truth, that I was not my past, I was a pure soul, and I had the power to be different, and I had grasped happiness.
Outside, I witnessed the true beauty of all my surroundings, and felt like I was soaring away into this real ecstasy of beauty and real happiness, since then I was able to find happiness through everything, every small thing, and a knowing of interconnectedness.
One day it just switched. Though I had spent a lot of time trying to grasp the concept of gratitude, it never dawned on me. I had spent hours of trying to sober myself and get over my problems with my own control, which always failed. I had spent hours begging for a connection to my lost faith, which never seemed to happen.
But that day, like an answer to my prayers, I realized the power of the mind was greatly disregarded. I tapped into this power sent from universal love of positive manifestation that i never had before. I healed myself of all my diseases through my mind, mental and physical, healed myself of all addictions, and every day was grateful for happiness, and each and every thing.

Oh and after that initial amazing awareness, a miracle happened to me. I vowed to myself I was strong enough to get over any obstacle that came to me. The very next day, i found out from the police a predator who had raped me had HIV and Hep C, my risk was high, and i was too late to be sent to the hospital to take the damaging but sometimes effective "cocktail" cure for HIV that police officers take. It was to say the least, very hard to stick to my vow to get through any obstacle that came to me. I was on my death bed at the same time for recovering from an eating disorder for 11 years of my life, my insides were damaged badly and i was given only a few months to live from that scenario.

But I lived with the acceptance that i was going to die, I was able to forgive my rapist, i decided there was no way i would turn out like him, i became more positive than i ever had been in my life, and believed i would make it. And i was completely cured in the end of a long time frame, completely negative in my tests. I cured myself of HIV and Hep C, which most believe is incurable. And i am healthy, and my insides began to heal themselves. So i repeat, the power of the mind is greatly disregarded.
My closeness to death brought me closer to life, and now at times, i live like i am always going to die, and i am happy, and thankful.

[Adrift]

In my past I never felt true happiness, and was diagnosed with clinical depression and Bi Polar disorder, abused intoxication to self-remedy my relentless emotion of nothingness and desolation, fed off a false high of artificial happiness for years.

I remember clearly the first day I encountered true happiness and bliss, I was actually in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle, when it stopped, and I stepped out I could barely stand, a random thought “what is this?” and then my insights were forever changed. A beginning insight of how perfectly easy… it was to release all things anchoring me down. How easy it was to release everything and be freed into love and happiness. A wide scope, of all the false labels stuck on me, my shadows, even the labels of mental illness that had haunted me my whole life, could just be gone, if I let go of them, that they were not truth. I had an insight of truth, that I was not my past, I was a pure soul, and I had the power to be different, and I had grasped happiness.
Outside, I witnessed the true beauty of all my surroundings, and felt like I was soaring away into this real ecstasy of beauty and real happiness, since then I was able to find happiness through everything, every small thing, and a knowing of interconnectedness.
One day it just switched. Though I had spent a lot of time trying to grasp the concept of gratitude, it never dawned on me. I had spent hours of trying to sober myself and get over my problems with my own control, which always failed. I had spent hours begging for a connection to my lost faith, which never seemed to happen.
But that day, like an answer to my prayers, I realized the power of the mind was greatly disregarded. I tapped into this power sent from universal love of positive manifestation that i never had before. I healed myself of all my diseases through my mind, mental and physical, healed myself of all addictions, and every day was grateful for happiness, and each and every thing.

Oh and after that initial amazing awareness, a miracle happened to me. I vowed to myself I was strong enough to get over any obstacle that came to me. The very next day, i found out from the police a predator who had raped me had HIV and Hep C, my risk was high, and i was too late to be sent to the hospital to take the damaging but sometimes effective "cocktail" cure for HIV that police officers take. It was to say the least, very hard to stick to my vow to get through any obstacle that came to me. I was on my death bed at the same time for recovering from an eating disorder for 11 years of my life, my insides were damaged badly and i was given only a few months to live from that scenario.

But I lived with the acceptance that i was going to die, I was able to forgive my rapist, i decided there was no way i would turn out like him, i became more positive than i ever had been in my life, and believed i would make it. And i was completely cured in the end of a long time frame, completely negative in my tests. I cured myself of HIV and Hep C, which most believe is incurable. And i am healthy, and my insides began to heal themselves. So i repeat, the power of the mind is greatly disregarded.
My closeness to death brought me closer to life, and now at times, i live like i am always going to die, and i am happy, and thankful.



Wowwww! That was actually really inspiring. Thanks for sharing that with me, I can re-read that story any time I feel like I'm lacking motivation :smile: