Christopher
16-03-2011, 01:49 AM
so i went through what was either some sorta awakening or psychosis or both. its a long story so please bare with me. im really hoping someone on here who is intune with the higher powers that be can really understand what im trying to convey and can somehow give me some insight. its very hard to put into words what i felt throughout the experience im going to describe. the story really just sounds like some crazyness. i feel like i came into contact with things i dont understand.
i'm currently 18. i never was religious but i considered myself spiritual, not knowing what exactly it meant, and still dont. i believed in a higher power and knew that there was much more out there then we could see.
anyway, i started using cannabis when i was 16 and used it habitually through highschool. i didnt use it to cope with any problems, as far as i know. one day it popped into my head to just try it. well i did and i liked it. it opened me up to a whole new world bla bla bla etc. so pot was my thing. i experimented with drinking but gave that up as is wasnt beneficial in any way. i tried some pills once or twice but ultimately i had no interest in chemicals. i was into the natural herb only. i wanted to pursue it as a career somehow. maybe growing it for patients or growing industrial hemp somewhere. i thought pot was my future..
i had always wanted to experiment with hallucinogens and this past october i got that chance. i tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time with my brother and friend. it was an incredibly amazing opening experience. i could write a page or two on the trip alone. i liked it very much. i had the utmost respect for the fungus. i knew it not to be a party drug or something to just get high. it was of a higher nature. it seemed to fill me up with insights and knowledge from some higher consciousness. i continued experimenting with it through november and december. i used it once a week for a couple weeks. each time i increased the dosage and each time it left me feeling lighter and more in tune with everything. more in tune with the universe. well two days before christmas was the last time i used them and when coming down from the trip i was outside with my dog when i was stargazing when one of the stars started to move and so in my head i was yelling "come here, come hang out, i wanna meet you" and so the star flew closer and was right over my house. full blown ufo sighting. i felt telepathically connected with the beings, i felt there presence. and then they had to continue of their own way and so they left. i was like, "ho le chit" that was incredible. some may discredit the event due to shrooms but i know it was real. anyway it left me with a feeling of everything being strongly interconnected and going into christmas i was on top of life it seemed.
im afraid it left me with some false beliefs though. well i dont know if they were false or not but anyway. at christmas with family i was under the impression that everyone was also enlightened as i was. i felt like we were all telepathizing and were more deeply connected that ever before. then christmas night. i was at my cousins and everyone was alseep except for me. i had difficulty sleeping as my mind was so wide awake with energy. so i decided to go for a walk. i came to this graveyard and decided to go in. it was scary but i developed this mantra i guess. "peace and love" with each step on foot was peace the other was love. i firmly concentrated on that and walked through the graveyard spreading vibes of peace and love. i then walked to a convenient store and continued spreading the vibes of peace and love. i asked for change for two dollars and put it in the charity thing and left. didnt buy nothing. i felt like a holy man almost. i continued my peace love thing on way home. the next day is where things get a bit weird.
the plan was to go snowboarding with my brother and cousin. we got into an argument and so i let them leave without me. i was living in the moment and was going with things as they happend. so i let them leave. not mad or anything but content. i started skateboarding around when i rolled past a guy walking to his van with a package. he was on his cell phone and i heard "the bomb" and the person he was talking to was named Damian. being in this heightened state i felt like i was hearing things i normally wouldnt. i didnt want to risk it so i called 911 and reported a possible bomb threat. i didnt want to risk something from being da bomb, or an actual bomb. by the time the cops got to the van my mom had arrived to pick me up from my cousins. i never learned the outcome. im hoping i was mistaken.
i went with her to visit my great aunt who was 100 years old at a nursing home. now i still had this holy feeling. like i was closer to god something. so i felt like a medium of sorts. i felt like a cross between jesus santa and a modern day hippy pothead tripper. so the visit was nice but all the while when i was wiht my mom i really wanted to get home. we were in PA and home was in New jersey. so from the nursing home we went to my grandmothers. at this point my urge to go home was so great that i decided to start walking to the nearest train station. it was snowy but i was well dressed. i had my red snow suit that i i felt resembled a modern say santa, yeah i know, crazy. it gets crazier. anyway so i dont know where the train station is but i walk in the direction i felt i should. i go to burger king and conveniently there was a guy outside right along my path so i asked him, he said continue this way for this long. it was the direction i was headed in anyway.
so im walking and doing my "peace love" stepping thing. reeeeeeeally focusing on it. it was like a meditation or something. so then this is where youre gunna call me nutso. i got tired of walking on the side of the road so i decided to go out and walk right down the middle. i felt it would spread my vibes of peace and love better. also i had no fear of death. i fully trusted god. if it was my time to be hit by a car, it was my time. keep in mind i still thought people could read my mind. anyways, i continued for some way walking down the middle of the street felling like some sort of messiah on a pilgrimage until eventually the fuzz pulled up alongside me and told me to get out of the road. so i complied fully and went back to the sidewalk. they then apprehended me and arrested me. i wasnt fretting though. i thought they knew what i was doing. i thought we were connecting and they were just going through protocol. so they took me in and stripped me of all my stuff. i felt it was all symbolic somehow. i was then put in a holding cell and had to wait for mommy to get me out.
she came and got me and was gunna take me back to grandmoms but i was still extremly insistent on getting home. i threatened to get out of the car so she took me to the train station.
i got on the train and went to the silent car. in my mind i thought silent car was silents from peoples thoughts and such. anyway im on the train when we get to a station and they say everyone has to go to train number five or something like that. so living n the moment and going with the flow i didnt question it. it was weird. people were confused. some were getting off some werent. i got this notion that that train was bound to crash or something so i took as antoher message from god. i didnt know what train to get on other than the number five. so i walked though the station looking for signs. and i dont just mean normal signs. i looked for the number five everywhere until it led me to rail number 5. idk if you know what i mean. it was if the world had all these secret messages and signs and things that i normally never noticed. anyway i get on this train and am going along when the conductor tells me i need to get off. this is baffling to me as i wasnt doing anything to disrupt anything, but without questioning her, as i felt like i was on some sort of journey being guided by god, i got off.
i had no clue as to where i was. there was a foot of snow on the ground and it was night time. then this random kid my age was there and we didnt really talk but he just said follow me. he led me through this tunnel and out to the parking lot of the station. there he had his car, which wasnt starting, hooked up another teens car. i was just there. didnt know these people, they didnt know me but we were like connected. i couldnt do anything for the car but i decided i could help with my mind. so i focused on the car starting. idk if it did anything. but it got started. i didnt want to ask for anything so i didnt ask for a ride. i would have taken one if it was offered but it wasnt. so i started heading out of the parking lot towards this pickup that i thought i was supposed to go to. it was a family and i asked if they could help me get home. they asked where i lived and for some reason all i could tell them was "home is where the heart is" they couldnt help me so i said ok thanks anyway and continued onward. i went across the street to a dunkin donuts for a hot tea. at this point my family was worried as to where i was. my father called and i assured him and everyone else i was fine and would let them know when i got home. i got my tea and started walking. i didnt know which direction to go in, i just trusted my gut. i continued my peace love thing for a while. i kept walking and walking aand walking. i was in a blizzard but o so determined. i wanted to get home and propose to my girlfriend. that was my goal. so i kept marching onward. my hands were getting bitterly cold , i had snot icicles and frozen hair. physically i was in danger but my spirits were so high. as i was walking everystore seemed to be one i could use at some point. i also seemed to go by many churches. i felt like i wasnt in the normal world but that somehow i was creating this all. so i was trying to envision my hometown. i was walking only lookin at my feet so i couldnt see my surroundings. i felt like some how i could transport myself home if i believed hard enough. so i kept walking and decided i needed more tea. i hadnt passed a convenient store for as long as i was walking but as soon as i decided i needed one to warm up and i focused on it, whatya know appears on the horizon, a convenient store. so i got my tea. instead of going out the front door, i noticed a backdoor. before i walked out the backdoor i visualized walking out my local convenient store in my hometown. so i walked out and it wasnt my hometown obviously but it looked similar enough for my to decide a direction to walk. so i started walking again. i was like dori, just keep swimming just keep swimming. i then got to another point where i was too cold to go on. i needed to warm up again. i found a target. again another symbol in my mind. i go in and its like the best target in the world. they had evvvvvvverything. but i didnt need any of it. i just needed to warm up. i went into the restroom and thats when my aunt called. i told her i was fine. and then the police called and i told them i was fine. so i left the target but at this point i didnt know where to go. i wanted to go back int he target but it had closed. so i was stuck outside freezing. so in the parking lot i broke down on my knees, head to the ground and prayed as hard as i could for rescue. i prayed and waited till my prayers were answered when a cop pulled up. i was so happy. i got in his warm suv and we headed to the station. i gave me self the impression that this was the number one cop, god himself.
so he took me to a train station to get to philly where i would transfer and finally be home bound. so im on the train and the ticket lady said i needed to get off at the next station. "again??" i thought. without asking why i complied and was again lost in a foot of snow. my feet were freezing and at this point i wanted to panic. survival instinct was kicking in. i started walking as to stand around would not keep me warm. i walked across the street to a "st joes" something. i knocked but it was closed as the hour was late. so i had to keep moving so i started walking again. this time i was on a more rural road. this is also the craziest of happenings.
ready so, i was walking uphill when i decided it would be easier to walk backwards up the hill. so i turned around and started walking backwards. now how long do you think you could walk backwards without looking before you hit something?? i put total faith in god to protect me and so i kept walking backwards. i felt like a sail and the wind was guiding me. i also felt like all the bad things in the world were going through the back of my head and coming out what i saw was a new world. heaven on earth if you will. it was incredible as i walked at least a mile backwards. i didnt want to turn to look where i was going as i felt like it would mess up the process. it was as if i was living the saying, "hindsight it 20-20". i walked past polls and other obstacles but never ran into anything.
there was even a point when my phone rang and a person told me a train was coming and i needed to stop and wait for it. so i stopped walking and whatya know and train goes by behind me. after it passed i continued my backwards journey.
then in the distance it looked like the grim reaper, some kinda dark robed thing moving swiftly towards me. as it got closer it turned out to be some kind my age in a black hoodie. he just said whats up and walked past me while i continued walking backwards.
heres where more crazyness comes into play. i called my girlfriend telling her i was walking backwards down her street and to look out side for me. obviously i wasnt as i was still in PA but i thought if she believed me and i since i wasnt looking where i was going, some how space and time could be manipulated and i could be teleported home. coo coo i know. it wasnt working and i started getting angry and yelling for her to believe me 100 percent. it wasnt working, lol so without turning around i just went to me knees and prayed, "i give up". not even a minute later, toot toot, it was the "number one cop" again there to my rescue.
this time he took me to the hospital. i had hypothermia and they thought i was crazy. i didnt feel crazy. i felt enlightened, in tune, more alive than ever.
so im sitting in the hospital bed and i felt like the life of the hospital was buzzing through me. i felt like a filter or something bouncing feelings and thoughts around. a cleaner or something. i thought my family was behind all the curtains and i was some how purifying them. some one died next to me and i assumed it was my great aunt. i later found out she passed away while i was hospitalized, but that person wasnt her. anyway i was like hearing things. i felt like i was experiencing a whole different realm. i was still doing my peace love thing and it seemed to be getting stronger. i felt like i was really putting out strong vibes of peace and love. so then i got moved to my own room. i thought i was making heaven. i was talking about all these good things. about aliens and chakras and all this stuff. i was like pandoras box. i felt like my mind was expanding exponentially.
its late and im only halfway through this. ill continue the rest tomorrow. the rest is where it gets bad
i'm currently 18. i never was religious but i considered myself spiritual, not knowing what exactly it meant, and still dont. i believed in a higher power and knew that there was much more out there then we could see.
anyway, i started using cannabis when i was 16 and used it habitually through highschool. i didnt use it to cope with any problems, as far as i know. one day it popped into my head to just try it. well i did and i liked it. it opened me up to a whole new world bla bla bla etc. so pot was my thing. i experimented with drinking but gave that up as is wasnt beneficial in any way. i tried some pills once or twice but ultimately i had no interest in chemicals. i was into the natural herb only. i wanted to pursue it as a career somehow. maybe growing it for patients or growing industrial hemp somewhere. i thought pot was my future..
i had always wanted to experiment with hallucinogens and this past october i got that chance. i tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time with my brother and friend. it was an incredibly amazing opening experience. i could write a page or two on the trip alone. i liked it very much. i had the utmost respect for the fungus. i knew it not to be a party drug or something to just get high. it was of a higher nature. it seemed to fill me up with insights and knowledge from some higher consciousness. i continued experimenting with it through november and december. i used it once a week for a couple weeks. each time i increased the dosage and each time it left me feeling lighter and more in tune with everything. more in tune with the universe. well two days before christmas was the last time i used them and when coming down from the trip i was outside with my dog when i was stargazing when one of the stars started to move and so in my head i was yelling "come here, come hang out, i wanna meet you" and so the star flew closer and was right over my house. full blown ufo sighting. i felt telepathically connected with the beings, i felt there presence. and then they had to continue of their own way and so they left. i was like, "ho le chit" that was incredible. some may discredit the event due to shrooms but i know it was real. anyway it left me with a feeling of everything being strongly interconnected and going into christmas i was on top of life it seemed.
im afraid it left me with some false beliefs though. well i dont know if they were false or not but anyway. at christmas with family i was under the impression that everyone was also enlightened as i was. i felt like we were all telepathizing and were more deeply connected that ever before. then christmas night. i was at my cousins and everyone was alseep except for me. i had difficulty sleeping as my mind was so wide awake with energy. so i decided to go for a walk. i came to this graveyard and decided to go in. it was scary but i developed this mantra i guess. "peace and love" with each step on foot was peace the other was love. i firmly concentrated on that and walked through the graveyard spreading vibes of peace and love. i then walked to a convenient store and continued spreading the vibes of peace and love. i asked for change for two dollars and put it in the charity thing and left. didnt buy nothing. i felt like a holy man almost. i continued my peace love thing on way home. the next day is where things get a bit weird.
the plan was to go snowboarding with my brother and cousin. we got into an argument and so i let them leave without me. i was living in the moment and was going with things as they happend. so i let them leave. not mad or anything but content. i started skateboarding around when i rolled past a guy walking to his van with a package. he was on his cell phone and i heard "the bomb" and the person he was talking to was named Damian. being in this heightened state i felt like i was hearing things i normally wouldnt. i didnt want to risk it so i called 911 and reported a possible bomb threat. i didnt want to risk something from being da bomb, or an actual bomb. by the time the cops got to the van my mom had arrived to pick me up from my cousins. i never learned the outcome. im hoping i was mistaken.
i went with her to visit my great aunt who was 100 years old at a nursing home. now i still had this holy feeling. like i was closer to god something. so i felt like a medium of sorts. i felt like a cross between jesus santa and a modern day hippy pothead tripper. so the visit was nice but all the while when i was wiht my mom i really wanted to get home. we were in PA and home was in New jersey. so from the nursing home we went to my grandmothers. at this point my urge to go home was so great that i decided to start walking to the nearest train station. it was snowy but i was well dressed. i had my red snow suit that i i felt resembled a modern say santa, yeah i know, crazy. it gets crazier. anyway so i dont know where the train station is but i walk in the direction i felt i should. i go to burger king and conveniently there was a guy outside right along my path so i asked him, he said continue this way for this long. it was the direction i was headed in anyway.
so im walking and doing my "peace love" stepping thing. reeeeeeeally focusing on it. it was like a meditation or something. so then this is where youre gunna call me nutso. i got tired of walking on the side of the road so i decided to go out and walk right down the middle. i felt it would spread my vibes of peace and love better. also i had no fear of death. i fully trusted god. if it was my time to be hit by a car, it was my time. keep in mind i still thought people could read my mind. anyways, i continued for some way walking down the middle of the street felling like some sort of messiah on a pilgrimage until eventually the fuzz pulled up alongside me and told me to get out of the road. so i complied fully and went back to the sidewalk. they then apprehended me and arrested me. i wasnt fretting though. i thought they knew what i was doing. i thought we were connecting and they were just going through protocol. so they took me in and stripped me of all my stuff. i felt it was all symbolic somehow. i was then put in a holding cell and had to wait for mommy to get me out.
she came and got me and was gunna take me back to grandmoms but i was still extremly insistent on getting home. i threatened to get out of the car so she took me to the train station.
i got on the train and went to the silent car. in my mind i thought silent car was silents from peoples thoughts and such. anyway im on the train when we get to a station and they say everyone has to go to train number five or something like that. so living n the moment and going with the flow i didnt question it. it was weird. people were confused. some were getting off some werent. i got this notion that that train was bound to crash or something so i took as antoher message from god. i didnt know what train to get on other than the number five. so i walked though the station looking for signs. and i dont just mean normal signs. i looked for the number five everywhere until it led me to rail number 5. idk if you know what i mean. it was if the world had all these secret messages and signs and things that i normally never noticed. anyway i get on this train and am going along when the conductor tells me i need to get off. this is baffling to me as i wasnt doing anything to disrupt anything, but without questioning her, as i felt like i was on some sort of journey being guided by god, i got off.
i had no clue as to where i was. there was a foot of snow on the ground and it was night time. then this random kid my age was there and we didnt really talk but he just said follow me. he led me through this tunnel and out to the parking lot of the station. there he had his car, which wasnt starting, hooked up another teens car. i was just there. didnt know these people, they didnt know me but we were like connected. i couldnt do anything for the car but i decided i could help with my mind. so i focused on the car starting. idk if it did anything. but it got started. i didnt want to ask for anything so i didnt ask for a ride. i would have taken one if it was offered but it wasnt. so i started heading out of the parking lot towards this pickup that i thought i was supposed to go to. it was a family and i asked if they could help me get home. they asked where i lived and for some reason all i could tell them was "home is where the heart is" they couldnt help me so i said ok thanks anyway and continued onward. i went across the street to a dunkin donuts for a hot tea. at this point my family was worried as to where i was. my father called and i assured him and everyone else i was fine and would let them know when i got home. i got my tea and started walking. i didnt know which direction to go in, i just trusted my gut. i continued my peace love thing for a while. i kept walking and walking aand walking. i was in a blizzard but o so determined. i wanted to get home and propose to my girlfriend. that was my goal. so i kept marching onward. my hands were getting bitterly cold , i had snot icicles and frozen hair. physically i was in danger but my spirits were so high. as i was walking everystore seemed to be one i could use at some point. i also seemed to go by many churches. i felt like i wasnt in the normal world but that somehow i was creating this all. so i was trying to envision my hometown. i was walking only lookin at my feet so i couldnt see my surroundings. i felt like some how i could transport myself home if i believed hard enough. so i kept walking and decided i needed more tea. i hadnt passed a convenient store for as long as i was walking but as soon as i decided i needed one to warm up and i focused on it, whatya know appears on the horizon, a convenient store. so i got my tea. instead of going out the front door, i noticed a backdoor. before i walked out the backdoor i visualized walking out my local convenient store in my hometown. so i walked out and it wasnt my hometown obviously but it looked similar enough for my to decide a direction to walk. so i started walking again. i was like dori, just keep swimming just keep swimming. i then got to another point where i was too cold to go on. i needed to warm up again. i found a target. again another symbol in my mind. i go in and its like the best target in the world. they had evvvvvvverything. but i didnt need any of it. i just needed to warm up. i went into the restroom and thats when my aunt called. i told her i was fine. and then the police called and i told them i was fine. so i left the target but at this point i didnt know where to go. i wanted to go back int he target but it had closed. so i was stuck outside freezing. so in the parking lot i broke down on my knees, head to the ground and prayed as hard as i could for rescue. i prayed and waited till my prayers were answered when a cop pulled up. i was so happy. i got in his warm suv and we headed to the station. i gave me self the impression that this was the number one cop, god himself.
so he took me to a train station to get to philly where i would transfer and finally be home bound. so im on the train and the ticket lady said i needed to get off at the next station. "again??" i thought. without asking why i complied and was again lost in a foot of snow. my feet were freezing and at this point i wanted to panic. survival instinct was kicking in. i started walking as to stand around would not keep me warm. i walked across the street to a "st joes" something. i knocked but it was closed as the hour was late. so i had to keep moving so i started walking again. this time i was on a more rural road. this is also the craziest of happenings.
ready so, i was walking uphill when i decided it would be easier to walk backwards up the hill. so i turned around and started walking backwards. now how long do you think you could walk backwards without looking before you hit something?? i put total faith in god to protect me and so i kept walking backwards. i felt like a sail and the wind was guiding me. i also felt like all the bad things in the world were going through the back of my head and coming out what i saw was a new world. heaven on earth if you will. it was incredible as i walked at least a mile backwards. i didnt want to turn to look where i was going as i felt like it would mess up the process. it was as if i was living the saying, "hindsight it 20-20". i walked past polls and other obstacles but never ran into anything.
there was even a point when my phone rang and a person told me a train was coming and i needed to stop and wait for it. so i stopped walking and whatya know and train goes by behind me. after it passed i continued my backwards journey.
then in the distance it looked like the grim reaper, some kinda dark robed thing moving swiftly towards me. as it got closer it turned out to be some kind my age in a black hoodie. he just said whats up and walked past me while i continued walking backwards.
heres where more crazyness comes into play. i called my girlfriend telling her i was walking backwards down her street and to look out side for me. obviously i wasnt as i was still in PA but i thought if she believed me and i since i wasnt looking where i was going, some how space and time could be manipulated and i could be teleported home. coo coo i know. it wasnt working and i started getting angry and yelling for her to believe me 100 percent. it wasnt working, lol so without turning around i just went to me knees and prayed, "i give up". not even a minute later, toot toot, it was the "number one cop" again there to my rescue.
this time he took me to the hospital. i had hypothermia and they thought i was crazy. i didnt feel crazy. i felt enlightened, in tune, more alive than ever.
so im sitting in the hospital bed and i felt like the life of the hospital was buzzing through me. i felt like a filter or something bouncing feelings and thoughts around. a cleaner or something. i thought my family was behind all the curtains and i was some how purifying them. some one died next to me and i assumed it was my great aunt. i later found out she passed away while i was hospitalized, but that person wasnt her. anyway i was like hearing things. i felt like i was experiencing a whole different realm. i was still doing my peace love thing and it seemed to be getting stronger. i felt like i was really putting out strong vibes of peace and love. so then i got moved to my own room. i thought i was making heaven. i was talking about all these good things. about aliens and chakras and all this stuff. i was like pandoras box. i felt like my mind was expanding exponentially.
its late and im only halfway through this. ill continue the rest tomorrow. the rest is where it gets bad