Nonduality and Envy

[SerendipityLizard]

As I set on my path, I find that I start to envy those who are "more enlightened" than me. I've gained all sorts of new levels of insight and abilities, but I keep feeling that it's not enough. It's millions much better than it used to be, but I can't seem to completely stop framing my situation as something competitive -- to feed my own strong need to be liked.

What can I do about this?

[Eelco]

Stop comparing yourself to others.
Those that seem more enlightened than you often have their own struggles they don't advocate.

Consider this. In a darkened room light a candle.
Now blow it out and light another one of similar size and wick width.
Which one gives off more illumination?

With Love
Eelco

[iamthat]

The spiritual journey is not a competition but it is human nature to compare our achievements with the apparent achievements of others. Then we criticise ourselves for not being as advanced as some, or we feel spiritual pride that we are more advanced than others.

But we cannot judge anyone else's spiritual attainments. It can be difficult enough to evaluate our own attainments. Gradually we become more content with wherever we are; we do not need to feel spiritually special. It is OK to be ordinary.

If we are fortunate enough to encounter those who are more spiritually advanced then we simply have to remind ourselves that we are now as they once were, and we will be as they are now.

Peace.

[Iamit]

As I set on my path, I find that I start to envy those who are "more enlightened" than me. I've gained all sorts of new levels of insight and abilities, but I keep feeling that it's not enough. It's millions much better than it used to be, but I can't seem to completely stop framing my situation as something competitive -- to feed my own strong need to be liked.

What can I do about this?

As long as you feel there is a scale of enlightenment you will place yourself somewhere on it and you will regard some to be above and some below you.

From a non dual perspective, Oneness is the only reality. From that perspective all are equally completely Oneness manifest. The realized are no more or less Oneness than the unrealized for it is already Oneness manifesting as the unrealized.

[SerendipityLizard]

Hmmm . . . I'll think about all this. I wish I can say more, but I guess I have more ideas I need to listen to than say.

Thank you. :)

[slash112]

All fantastic replies in this thread. But I just wanted to add...
If you're going to seek something, seek what brings love, joy and peace to your own self. For some people its peace alone which brings love and joy to their hearts. But for others there's something else the soul cries for. So if your heart is crying for something, just follow the trail of your own heart's call, and its impossible for you to not find a life of amazement.

The funny thing about the search is... once you find the thing... you realize it was always there anyways. Why seek something which is already there? I had to learn this the hard way. And many others too. But I feel that we all go through our journey so that we may show others some form of pointer that says "this way is probably a bad idea btw".

Who do you think You Are? If you view yourself as somehow little, well smash that illusion because look at how beautiful you really are. You're sensing... feeling... hearing... knowing... learning... experiencing. And that experience is always perceived by the so-called "enlightened Self". It's always there... don't chase something that's attached to your mind inseparably anyways. It's always doing its thing so for me it helps to just let go and allow things to happen.

I'm rambling now, but I feel it's important to feel the trust in your heart that you are already where you're supposed to be. Take a step. Then another step. And so on.

If your heart screams a goal at you, then sure, fight for that lifelove your insides cry for... But don't worry bout it man... It's all good. Or it just is what it is.

[SerendipityLizard]

I'm rambling now, but I feel it's important to feel the trust in your heart that you are already where you're supposed to be. Take a step. Then another step. And so on.

If your heart screams a goal at you, then sure, fight for that lifelove your insides cry for... But don't worry bout it man... It's all good. Or it just is what it is.

Thanks, man. :’) . That was beautiful.

[Shivani Devi]

As I set on my path, I find that I start to envy those who are "more enlightened" than me. I've gained all sorts of new levels of insight and abilities, but I keep feeling that it's not enough. It's millions much better than it used to be, but I can't seem to completely stop framing my situation as something competitive -- to feed my own strong need to be liked.

What can I do about this?
I like to think of it this way...

All reality except for the Absolute Non-Dual reality is personally subjective.

You say others are " more enlightened" than yourself...how do you know that? How can you be sure of it?

There are many great "actors" in this world, who appear to be something they are not...and more than what they are.

Even so, there will be those who are "more enlightened" and those who are " less enlightened", but by what measurement or yardstick is this judged?

Even the concept of any comparison is a whole duality within itself.

If you go on comparing, where will it stop? You will only end up comparing yourself to Jesus Christ or Mother Theresa or even God.

...and while comparing the self to God may be a good thing...whilever the ego is involved in it, it's not.

[Bornonthecusp]

Could it be that you're chasing spiritual perfection? I've been using spirituality as some bar to reach for a few years now (not realising that's what i was doing) It was just another way for me to myself that i was "not enough" Maybe give yourself a break? i suspect you've earned it!

[EnlightenedPursuits]

Yeah, I like what Slash112 and Eelco have said.

A "search" will continue to go on until you decide to stop it by being satisfied by whatever you figure out.

But to your point, I don't know if feeling envious is necessarily a bad thing, just as pursuing a life of perpetual happiness and contentment isn't necessarily good.

I think that all of us spiritual minded people need to be more accepting of the emotions that we naturally have.

[Ahriman]

Just remember, there is not a single person who has ever lived who is/was worthy of being envied.

[Chanine]

As I set on my path, I find that I start to envy those who are "more enlightened" than me. I've gained all sorts of new levels of insight and abilities, but I keep feeling that it's not enough. It's millions much better than it used to be, but I can't seem to completely stop framing my situation as something competitive -- to feed my own strong need to be liked.

What can I do about this?

The condition of thinking someone else is more enlightened is the minds play..just distracting your attention from the truth to the coming and going of the mind, this thought only has the power if you choose to obey it. If you choose to let it go it will pass and if you choose to let everything go and be brave enough to disappear you will realise enlightenment as your true self, your only resting place, watch from the space of bliss consciousness, rise above the mind, don't let it pull you into it's opinions, it does an impeccable job of dragging an imagined self into chaos, realise the supreme sit at Gods feet and stay with it, you will then see reality from the truth

[Badcopyinc]

I want to just say read my sig but...

I feel I must tell you being enlightened includes not stressing what anyone thinks of you.

Do yiu think dolphins wonder if their fins are shaped awkwardly or if they are fat?

An enlightened person knows the self and sees themselves in everyone and everything.

Enlightenment is something you’re born with and can not be taken from you. This idea you have to work for it and it’s some monumental task is a creation of your mind.

Many books all illustrate the same thing. All that is required is to let go of who you aren’t. The book of secrets is a book with 112 ways to let go via breathing.
And even in the beginning of the book he poses the question of its just about letting go than why the need for the book? Letting go is another task that is sold that needs to be completed.

Figure out who you are. If you keep searching for that one answer then you will get there. Comparing yourself to anyone else and their progress and how they got there is silly as no one person is the same. If we all are born with enlightenment then it’s what we learned and taught ourselves over the years that convinced us we are not enlightened. So how can following scripture or a plan help you find you?

[Joe Mc]

How much advice do you need ? Well here is my two pence worth. I've had such feelings myself towards the proliferation of non duality teachers that have sprung up over the past 2 decades or so. Are you sure it's envy ? I detected a feeling of subtle hate at times towards some of these teachers, perhaps it's not hate but frustration.

But ive started to realise that what they say, ' their teachings' and particular slants on non duality, God or whatever terms you wish to use are just that, they are particular slants, particular ways of pointing. Their use of language is particularly coloured by their own conditioning, although there are core concepts within all of their teachings, the mind, the ego, no self etc. I'm just pointing this out and it has really helped me and now i find i can really be on the look out for a teacher who points in a particular way through words at least. But its ok if that teacher doesn't come. We can all point. Some people are gloriously in love with language in a particular way. People here on Sf have gotten hold of non duality concepts and if you don't logicise (is that a word lol) or cognise or semantise or syntaxise a sentence or an argument or a concept together in a way that they can relate too, they are apt to tell you what non duality is, in their own glorious language of course. Be careful of this type of drama its just another intellectual feist.

So yes these teachers might be better at wording it than yourself? But i thought you were not suppose to be able to describe in words what non duality is ? And so forth. They often claim to be synopsising it for the common man ..well i think that is a claim ...there is also a marketisation of the teaching which you may or may not agree with. Nature has good words too, so have many things including your own vital awareness. Apologies for going on.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Which of the subtly shifting hues of a sunset is the most beautiful?

[Miss Hepburn]

As I set on my path, I find that I start to envy those who are "more enlightened" than me.

...but I can't seem to completely stop framing my situation as something competitive -

What can I do about this?This is what works for me...First, there is no rush ...there is no end to learning....the journey is the fun as it unfolds.
And most imp....your place is perfect.
Where others are are their perfect.
No need for any envy.

This belongs in Spiritual Development.... it is in itself filled with duality. LOL!
Funny, actually.
You are probably seeking pure non-dualism. So, I get it.

Maybe all this has been said...I didn't read anything here.
Take care....practice contentment....feel joy, find it in every moment somehow, somewhere....get rid of the word 'can't', too. :tongue: