How do I rest in empty space of love

[PeaceLilly]

Resting in that empty space of love, you will not be touched by the energy of others. That energy can go where it goes.

I copied this response from another post. I am having a difficult time with close relationships that I do not want to sever. I also can not continue with the backstabbing and negative discussions. These are siblings that can not let go of our problematic upbringing. Now, one is wealthy and has total disdain for the other family members that are not and are struggling with issues.

My faith in spirituality, tarot, is considered taboo so I do not discuss it with them at all. Ignoring and walking away has only cause me to be shut out from these close relationships and I really only want harmony.

Evidently, I am not learning the lessons I should be learning from this and I need guidance please.

How do I find this empty space of love to rest in?

Thank you!

[naturesflow]

Resting in that empty space of love, you will not be touched by the energy of others. That energy can go where it goes.

I copied this response from another post. I am having a difficult time with close relationships that I do not want to sever. I also can not continue with the backstabbing and negative discussions. These are siblings that can not let go of our problematic upbringing. Now, one is wealthy and has total disdain for the other family members that are not and are struggling with issues.

My faith in spirituality, tarot, is considered taboo so I do not discuss it with them at all. Ignoring and walking away has only cause me to be shut out from these close relationships and I really only want harmony.

Evidently, I am not learning the lessons I should be learning from this and I need guidance please.

How do I find this empty space of love to rest in?

Thank you!

When I have entered into my own generational healing space in me around others especially family, I have used their space to look more directly at myself in all that and let go. Sometimes the space of loving presence cannot hold itself until it releases all aspects tied/attached to family in this way. So the moving away can be more a boundary of self that moves closer to itself to show and model itself in what it stands for. When you move closer to yourself and let go of them, it doesn't mean you give up on them, it just means for now you are going to dig deeper into the space of love. Cutting ties works on so many levels. Energetic and physical can be viewed as a necessity to inform others of our boundaries and truth for us. When people feel you being truthful to you, they cant impede upon your space and you go into that deeper space of loving presence for yourself. That leads itself naturally as all that. The greatest gift of change for another is listening to our own needs first and building that space of truth first in us. Finding that empty space of loving presence has a whole host of ways to find and build in you. Sometimes boundaries are part of unconditional loving presence, as is tough love as is emptiness and loving presence when you arrive there to be able to hold that space, no matter what moves around you.

[PeaceLilly]

Thank you for your response. I realize that is me that has to change the way I respond to their attacks. There is something in me that is not resolved that makes me defensive.

[naturesflow]

Thank you for your response. I realize that is me that has to change the way I respond to their attacks. There is something in me that is not resolved that makes me defensive.

Yes that is often the cause of such reflections around others.
All life offers us opportunities to build and find peace within.

[Greenslade]

Thank you for your response. I realize that is me that has to change the way I respond to their attacks. There is something in me that is not resolved that makes me defensive.There is also something in them that makes them attack, more often than not it's a cry for help. Is Spirituality a way for you to resolve your problematic upbringing?

If you want to create the space for Love, stop putting hate where it should dwell by forming understanding and compassion or at least acceptance. Are they negative discussions or the noise of Souls crying out for help?

[PeaceLilly]

Thank you for your responses. I was felt I was attacked each time I made a comment during this outing. They made remarks about my children that hurt me deeply.

I'm working on acceptance. I did learn that I will no longer discuss my beliefs with them, finding a neutral subject has been difficult lol!

[7luminaries]

This...

Sometimes boundaries are part of unconditional loving presence, as is tough love as is emptiness and loving presence when you arrive there to be able to hold that space, no matter what moves around you.
Agreed full stop!

Peacelily - hello there!

First, IMO...you need space to breath long enough to calm yourself. It's much, much more difficult to find a space to breath and forgive whilst you're still taking regular floggings. Possible, but much more difficult. I recommend you make it easier on yourself to heal by starting right now to limit the bleeding. Mainly this means removal and containment.

This means setting boundaries and breaking the cycle or pattern of behaviour. It means up and leaving the situation whenever they get nasty and that you avoid lingering round them whilst they get their gun off. And yes, limiting contact as needed, at least initially, until you re-establish a healthier pattern of behaviour with them, one which doesn't involve them using you for target practice.

IMO attacking your kids and your beliefs is abusive, among other things, and IMO it's healthy and right to authentically love yourself equally to others. Not less than others. Unless there is a gun to your head, you don't have to take abuse. You can set your boundaries, withdraw from the situation, and send them love and blessings from a safe place, a place of your choosing.

The key to avoiding either guilt or recrimination (or to minimising it) is to have a plan, and follow it to the letter every time. Something like this: excuse yourself, go to the restroom or otherwise step away, take a few minutes to collect yourself...wait till you're sure you can manage your tongue...or till the tears have dried, whichever. And then excuse yourself for the day by saying you're not feeling well and you have to leave, but that it's been lovely and thanks for everything. And then GO. Immediately, LOL. Repeat as often as needed, wherever and whenever. Minimise extra visits if they are not consistently respectful and courteous toward you.

And don't apologise for needing to leave because you're not feeling well -- you're allowed to be human and they have no right to question you...it is an absolutely acceptable white lie. I taught this simple approach to my ex and he was able to repair his relationship with his folks after taking a lifetime of abuse from them. It works. And yes, he had to use it repeatedly as they would insult him and provoke him repeatedly to the breaking point and then point the finger at him for being the "bad son" when he blew up and got angry.

When you have made this sort of approach a way of being, no one can provoke you or manipulate you emotionally on their terms. And you will have come a long way toward equanimity and yes, even some degree simple detachment, in this very raw situation. Your will and even your nerves will eventually be forged in steel. Your emotions will still register as truth in need of acceptance and healing. But they will not lead to impulsive words or deeds (most of the time, hahaha...and that is still a tremendous help to those who've taken years of abuse and unkindness).

It comes down to this. As you learn to better love yourself, and as you extend (not only forgiveness in the repeated chances to engage, but also) love, kindness, and courtesy toward others, you will over time detach from them much more unless they are willing and able to treat you with the love, kindness and courtesy that you also deserve. It doesn't mean you don't still love them very dearly. It simply means you cannot be as close or engage as deeply with those who limit their engagement with you to one of abuse, disrespect, and/or unkindness. Simple as that.

Once you've space to breath and heal, then all things are possible :wink: At the very least, you'll have your dignity and you'll have established what you will and won't tolerate. They can either meet you in a space of courtesy and respect, or not. But either way, you will have defined what is and isn't loving for you (and pretty obviously, it applies to 99.99999999% of the rest of us, as well...)

Good luck and many blessings to you :hug:
And much love & light :hug3:
7L