Being an artist who is not "dysfunctional"

[Timeless]

There's a quote from David Bowie where he says "to be an artist is to be dysfunctional."

As for myself, I have always been into music and I have dedicated a lot of time to learning about music and producing it. I have mostly done everything by myself. To find the pleasure behind listening to a song is a good feeling. I cannot really pinpoint just what it is that makes me feel good when I hear an arrangement of sounds that presents itself well to my brain...

I don't do any sorts of substances except for caffeine. And I'm always trying to shift back to the place where I feel I most content while listening to or playing music. I think of this as my creative zone, a place within me that is invisible and cannot be touched. I've gotten better at accessing this part of myself, but I also started to realize that perhaps at this phase in my life I need a balance of inner affairs and outward affairs.

I want to continue to have the same old creative inner spark, but at the same time live a balanced life. I don't think every artist has to be dysfunctional or be hooked on substances in order to be a true artist. I think the art is a thing of its own. So while I really appreciate David Bowie, I can only partly agree with what he said about what it is to be an artist.

I think it is possible to have a dynamic to yourself where you can journey within, but also have a solid understanding of who you are on the outside. I think maybe moderation is good for everything.

Just sharing my thoughts hoping this is relevant to someone...

[Seawolf]

When I started getting a healthier state of mind, my music got better and others told me so.

I heard someone say a musician went to a therapist and after awhile became much happier. Then one day he told the therapist "I want to go back to the way I was because now I can't play music."

When I heard that I immediately had the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe she told that story because she's dysfunctional and is making excuses not to get better. Later I got to know the person better and turns out that's exactly the way she is.

So yeah, if you don't make music in that state, but rather in a balanced and healthy frame of mind, people that are dysfucntional might not be drawn to it. But there'll always be others out there that will.

The idea that you have to be messed up to make good music is really stupid. It's not worth paying attention to.

The only thing I have to say though is be careful about thinking you're really healthy inside.The mind is a master at deluding itself lol.

[Timeless]

When I started getting a healthier state of mind, my music got better and others told me so.

I heard someone say a musician went to a therapist and after awhile became much happier. Then one day he told the therapist "I want to go back to the way I was because now I can't play music."

When I heard that I immediately had the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe she told that story because she's dysfunctional and is making excuses not to get better. Later I got to know the person better and turns out that's exactly the way she is.

So yeah, if you don't make music in that state, but rather in a balanced and healthy frame of mind, people that are dysfucntional might not be drawn to it. But there'll always be others out there that will.

The idea that you have to be messed up to make good music is really stupid. It's not worth paying attention to.

The only thing I have to say though is be careful about thinking you're really healthy inside.The mind is a master at deluding itself lol.

I like to rely a lot on feeling, and the past few weeks or so I've felt kind of unhappy just in general, and have been constantly looking for something to make me feel a certain way due to my unhappiness (music). I feel as though it's not the healthiest state for me though because it's a very rocky place to be internally...

I don't know... Maybe I have been drawn to certain music due to my unhappiness... I tend to feel music (in a sober state) more when I'm feeling more unmotivated or less ambitious. I definitely have been feeling less ambitious to do anything compared to how I was just over a month ago. All I want to really do is make music, but maybe looking at it now, it is something that I just attached to because of my lack of fulfillment in other areas of my life.

Most of all, I want to feel like I have control over how I feel and respond to situations, but I feel like I would be giving up other things in return. For me to want to become social, work on personal growth, or anything like that, I would need to focus my energy there and not be "caught up" in music. But I think the feeling we get from music can be gained from other life experiences as well.

Thanks for your insight mate

[Seawolf]

I understand what you're saying now. I used to be really attached to music too. I was unhappy and that's all I had. I could recognize I was attached and could see it made the music less fun and harder to write. The way I got out of that was finding ways to be happy. Like doing yoga and seeing a therapist. Then I started understanding myself more, letting go and relaxing, learning to take care of myself. That's when the music started getting fun. I could express my feelings better, regardless how I felt, good or bad. It's more relaxed and feels tighter and cooler. :cool:

I have to always work on personal growth. That's a daily thing now. It never made me stop playing music. I play the same amount as before.

[Mr Interesting]

I don't think Bowie was being literal and defining the dysfunction as personal and quite possibly was speaking about the distance an artist might need to address society in ways he/she thinks it might need to be addressed.

[RedEmbers]

I've recently started up my musical journey after a long hiatus.

I made a promise to myself to take it up again as an adult.

I was a musical kid - apparently music inspired me from a very young age... in the womb I would apparently start wriggling and kicking around if any music was playing in the background.

My journey as an adult is very different. I find it harder to let go and just let what I am learning teach me rather than trying to learn what I am being taught.

It is an interesting comparison to where I was and where I am now as a musical apprentice.

There always seems to be an internal challange to just let go and trust the process.

Even as I open up more and more to the nature of my authentic spirit - I discover much resistance present which comes up as I remember how to let go and enjoy the music.

I've actually asked for 'spiritual back up' to guide me through the journey... I am concious of opening up to the process as well as surrendering myself to whatever wants to flow through.

I find that having a regular excercise and meditation routine helps set me up for my musical persuits.
Better yet, I have an excercise routine (swimming) which incorporates and focuses on mindfulness which is very helpful to get me in the 'flow' state.
Although sometimes it doesn't always work and that's ok too.

My creations are changing now too... I am learning how to create from a state of surrender... it is an interesting learning curve.

I'll just continue to show up and do my bit and spirit can flow through me... and express itself freely.

[Seawolf]

I find it harder to let go and just let what I am learning teach me rather than trying to learn what I am being taught.

Music brought out a lot resistance for me and still does. When I was young I was just having fun hitting the keys and didn't have any expectations. It was free flowing, now that I'm an adult I have all this baggage telling me I'm not doing it good enough lol.

[Lorelyen]

I consider myself an artist. There are days and projects when I consider myself
a hack but I can only be that because I have the artistic skills to know how to
be one.

I lead a tangentially normal life, tangentially because I'm freelance so don't
suffer the pangs of formal employment, and I seem able to transact with
society in ways people would think "normal".

But I'm dysfunctional. I'm also spiritually "growing up" which sets me either
aside or aloof from society/community depending on your viewpoint. So I
don't correspond to functional "social norms" hence, dysfunctional.

Who isn't in today's world? Only the sheeple, the people who do what the
commercial establishment tells them to do.

An amusing incident happened last night. One of my dysfunctional habits is that
I build some of my furniture out of cardboard - boxes picked up at the
supermarket etc. My bookcase collapsed. My b/f immediately advised me to
buy something from Ikea...it developed into an argument - not a bad one but
the first that's brought friction. I told him he could buy it as long as he could
make it fit the space which looking at the dimensions it won't without alteration.
He went glum. He's just as dysfunctional in that he goes out with me!

♥

[blackraven]

There's a quote from David Bowie where he says "to be an artist is to be dysfunctional."

As for myself, I have always been into music and I have dedicated a lot of time to learning about music and producing it. I have mostly done everything by myself. To find the pleasure behind listening to a song is a good feeling. I cannot really pinpoint just what it is that makes me feel good when I hear an arrangement of sounds that presents itself well to my brain...

I don't do any sorts of substances except for caffeine. And I'm always trying to shift back to the place where I feel I most content while listening to or playing music. I think of this as my creative zone, a place within me that is invisible and cannot be touched. I've gotten better at accessing this part of myself, but I also started to realize that perhaps at this phase in my life I need a balance of inner affairs and outward affairs.

I want to continue to have the same old creative inner spark, but at the same time live a balanced life. I don't think every artist has to be dysfunctional or be hooked on substances in order to be a true artist. I think the art is a thing of its own. So while I really appreciate David Bowie, I can only partly agree with what he said about what it is to be an artist.

I think it is possible to have a dynamic to yourself where you can journey within, but also have a solid understanding of who you are on the outside. I think maybe moderation is good for everything.

Just sharing my thoughts hoping this is relevant to someone...

I can't say whether I'm dysfunctional or not as an artist. Everyone is functional; they have to be in order to survive. I'm reminded of a time I had a showing of my art. Some of my art is downright angry or scary whereas other pieces are serene. Those pieces reflect my state of mind at the time of their creation. I can't tell you how many people came up to me at that showing and said, "You don't look anything like I would assume based on what and how you paint." Statements like that baffled me. I thought to myself, was it an insult or was it a compliment? I think it was neither. I suppose I just look more pieced together than some of my paintings would portray me as. Does the onlooker ever really know the painter's mind both at the time of the creation or in between? No they don't. Only you can know your own inner workings. It's always a risk of being misunderstood when you show your creations to others. But I have to say it was kind of empowering for me to have people be affected by what they saw that I produced instead of them just hidden away in my home.

[Seawolf]

Who isn't in today's world? Only the sheeple, the people who do what the
commercial establishment tells them to do.

The establishment wants you to think it's normal to be a miserable and dysfunctional person, that way you're more easily controlled. To be happy, awake and aware is the real rebellion. It's not 'cool' or acceptable to be unhappy and dead inside, that's just what they want you to think. The establishment wants us apathetic.

Musicians can get stuck being apathetic to their own depression because they think it makes their music better. Like they'd be giving up art if they tried to be happy. Sounds like a combination of excuses and society's brainwashing to me.

[keokutah]

I think you should probably read this, as it's not the first time someone has thought of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity_and_mental_illness

I do resonate with all these stereotypes:
- mentally ill people usually have creative and artistic personality types OR artists or creative people are usually mentally ill
- creative people are eccentric
- most novelists are introverts and alcoholics
- creative people see the world differently

I am not sure of the exact correlation, but it is there nonetheless. I grew up in psych wards so I've witnessed it a lot in other people including myself.

Because creative personality types are usually introverted... that's why the classic portrayal of a writer is some drunk hermit guy, living in a quiet little cabin somewhere.
Typical musicians like Michael Hutchence, they are deep, profound thinkers, natural introverts with a lot of natural charism who are forced to be extroverted and therefore they get addictions, and they get unhappy and they become suicidal, the music industry is harsh on creative introverts because they get so caught up in vanity that they dislocate from their higher self which is a necessity for introverts, they need that time to reconnect with themselves on a deeper level, it becomes too overwhelming for them, then things like addiction start to manifest.

I've written several novels in my time, and I am 6 years sober, so I can definitely relate to that stereotype. Does that mean I'm a drunky now? Of course not.

But I am still a hermit, the only difference between then and now is that I have made peace with being an introvert, that is just who I am. Back in the day I thought I had to force myself to be more sociable and I thought I had social phobia and that it was a major source of all my problems, but that isn't true nor has it ever been true, that's just what other people would have me believe. The truth is I am very content being alone. Extroverts may not understand that, an unfortunately the world is usually run by extroverts, but my happiness comes from within and I love being alone with myself.

Is addiction common in creative personality types? I think so, because we are very sensitive. Doesn't mean you can't recover and live a happy, healthy balanced life. I've done it myself.

My poems have always been a way of coping with struggles in life and still are, but now the subject matter is usually more deep and spiritual based which attracts a different audience than before. I look at my poetry from the old days when I was very mentally ill and possessed and those poems disturb me on a very deep level. It's not my cup of tea anymore.

I don't believe my poems sucked back then either, I don't think that a negative state of mind makes your art bad. And I don't believe a positive state of mind makes your art better. It's not about that, it's just that your audience changes when your interests change over time.

Obviously, my paintings improve in time, and now that I'm in a more positive state of mind, I've been able to dedicate my time to painting things like landscapes and beautiful scenery and wildlife that people would actually buy. No one would have bought my disturbing canvas of blood, for example. I'm not even sure why I made it, but I threw it out, despite knowing at one point in my life it was largely sentimental to me. It's just disgusting. I am not the same person as I used to be, that's for sure.

I remember a point when I was possessed and I truly enjoyed the pain and suffering, it was my way of life, I did not want to get better. When I started to pull away from that evil and negativity, there was a part of myself that didn't want to let go of it, and the more I stepped into the light, the more I let go of the darkness in time, then glimpsing the darkness would sometimes "trigger" me.
It does not anymore. But recovery was a long process. It doesn't happen overnight. It's not like you just wake up one day and decide you're going to be a new, better person, you're probably going to be nostalgic for the darkness until you can strengthen your soul and become who you truly are and keep surrounding yourself with the light.

When you get to that point, these questions will not matter to you. You won't care about the darkness and how it effects your art, and how other people are... art is art, regardless of what mind state it was produced in.

I'm pretty sure the only thing that triggers people about art is that a lot of dark people use it to express their pain, because it is a very amazing way to express your pain, just like it is an amazing way to express your positive emotions too. Various art forms are a great way to express how you feel inside.
So yeah, obviously it's therapeutic to a lot of people who need that therapy, but art is also successful for those of us who express positive emotions in our art. There is obviously a lot of uplifting, positive music out there with a very large audience, it's not all just doom and gloom.

I like the word dysfunctional, I don't think it means you have to be insane. Because I do not function the same way as other people do. In order for me to live a healthy balanced life, I have to follow a very strict routine. If I don't eat or sleep or work out properly, I will have an emotional breakdown. But at least I know all the things that help me cope with how my brain is. That's just how my brain is.
And when I go through creative spurts, it consumes me like nothing else matters in my life, but thankfully the spurts don't last for long enough to interfere in a bad way, and I still manage to accomplish a lot of creative projects that way. I don't think that's societies definition of functional, but I just call it inspiration and motivation.
I think I'm recovered from mental illness and I don't believe I will ever relapse but that doesn't mean I don't realize that I have to live my life a certain way in order to be healthy.

I just found my birth mother, which I was talking about in another thread not too long ago, and found out that she's a famous musician. And I had always wondered where I got my creativity from, because it definitely wasn't from my adopted family lol.
It's unfortunate because she's into heavy metal and I'm not a fan, and I don't like to be MR Judgmental, but the truth is I am disappointed in her. At 50 years old, what has she done with her life? She has no family, she has nothing of real importance. She think's she's a vampire and is nuts and never recovered from her mental illnesses, that she unfortunately passed down to me, but I'm much younger than she and I managed to recover from it. Maybe some people would think her accomplishments as a singer are great, but I just think it's vain and I would never want that life.
Maybe it would be different if she was a different musician, one that I resonated with.
I just know it's not my cup of tea. It doesn't have to be. It's not like I think she sucks, because I read some of her song lyrics and watched her videos and I can see talent in it, I just absolutely despise the subject matter and I'm not happy that she is so vain, because I wouldn't wish that struggle on my worst enemy.