How do you deal with negative people?

[keokutah]

So, I have an awful lot of negative people in my life.

These negative people are so reoccurring that I asked my spirit guide if I was attracting them somehow, and he said no, but they are there to teach me the lesson of how to stand up for my beliefs and my truths, in the face of diversity.

I know the saying is usually "in the face of adversity" but he meant diversity, as in accepting that I am different and that people may not support my dreams, they may not believe my dreams are possible, but I should not allow them to bring me down.

He says, it's an important lesson to learn, as I get closer to fulfilling my dreams.

Basically, haters will hate, but I shouldn't let the haters stop me from living my life the way I want to. I need to stand up for what I know is right.

The more that people complain, insult or "test" my path, the more I start to doubt my path. I care too much about what they think.

It's not like I don't want to care at all because as a leader, I still want to do what is best for my people. But I do not want to encourage their negativity and complaints anymore. I wanted them to be involved in the decision making so I let them have a voice, but I am sort of regretting that now. It's not like they ever "help" me anyways, it's always just unconstructive criticism. None of these people are supportive of my endeavors. It's not like I need them to be supportive either. Obviously, we went through a lot of recent changes, all very positive changes, but you know... some people are terrified of even good change, and I'm not sure how to help them through their negative feelings about all the change that has been happening.

My spirit guides told me this is a time of forming authentic partnerships and letting go of those who no longer support me. It surely is weeding out all the people who don't share my vision. It is forcing me to stand up for what I truly want to create
.
He also told me, I can't please everyone, I really just need to focus on building my dream how I want it to be, and naturally, that will attract those who share my vision, and it will be of service to people when I can be true to myself.

The other day, for example, I dealt with someone's negativity by counteracting his complaints and basically telling him I didn't want to hear any more negativity, and I didn't say it in a nice way, but we know each other well enough that he didn't seem offended, and he's been more supportive ever since.

I don't want to be mean about it though. Other than telling someone to stop being negative (which worked once, but may not work again lol), how am I supposed to be in a leadership position and encourage people to be positive, despite all their doubts and negativity?

Just being positive around some of them isn't enough. Some of them need more than that, maybe some kind of reassurance, and I'm not sure how to give that to them.

More importantly, I don't want their negativity to bring me down. How do you remain true to yourself and stand up for yourself when you're getting so many complaints (not about you personally, but about something you're trying to make work). It's something I love and I truly see the beauty in it, and I just wish they could too.

[lemex]

By understanding it is communication. All people have a voice!

Believe it or not, don't judge. :smile: Understand in that place.

You see their perspective and in a time walk in their shoes. It is natural to understand. Realize you understand at many levels and don't even know you do. What if you are an empath. In any given communication and emotion to, you see you are aware. You then experience what is shared. You are observing. I realized some years ago that if others have difficulties in negativity I will to. I know I do. As soon as you sense it one is prepared to fight even though it's not you. Where you have the opportunity to help you separate, we may judge, why, to protect ourselves. I would think teachers and such would be good at this stuff but they aren't either it seems. This is one reason I could never become one. I once said if I lived back in the past at the beginning I'd make a terrible patriarch with what I know today. I'd be saying to God, you can't be serious dude. I'm not going to do that, that's wrong. What's wrong with you. So I'd make a terrible teacher to....lol. I tend to do the opposite, spirituality even seems to be like that to me if you know what I mean. When I give into it, it is only spiritual.

Simply remember if they have problems with negativity, you will to as you understand this most relative emotional force and waveform. We are unable to ever separate ourselves from this relativity. One has the opportunity to help but people get caught up in their own emotion of the experience. I tend to no longer judge. Sometimes the negative person needs someone. Don't think you always have to do something except be present. I wonder if life is based on resonance. It all energy. I think separation is what we are talking about as being most important, how we feel. Attachment on both sides of the fence.

Just wonder if part of it is fear. I tend to engage people and treat them just as that. But this is me.

[lemex]

I don't want to be mean about it though. Other than telling someone to stop being negative (which worked once, but may not work again lol), how am I supposed to be in a leadership position and encourage people to be positive, despite all their doubts and negativity?

More importantly, I don't want their negativity to bring me down. How do you remain true to yourself and stand up for yourself when you're getting so many complaints (not about you personally, but about something you're trying to make work). It's something I love and I truly see the beauty in it, and I just wish they could too.

In the leadership role continue learning. Information is out there. Good luck. :smile: Been there, done that and I won't tell you which side I was on but the HRO is a good place to start. Talk to other leaders. Sometimes it takes time and patience to. Solve this problem and it'll make you a better leader...lol. Yes, negativity is everywhere.

[firstandlast]

Understand that it is of great benefit to you the more potent these people are; it is not a manner of a blanket "how" to deal with them, but the ability to remain in your intent under dire circumstances, which edify your ability to express that intent under any conditions--

It is not when everything acts as an extension of your own positivity, that your positivity is refined in resilience and range of expression--

[seekerAK]

I view each person as being perfect and where he should be according to his journey so there is no 'negativity' or 'negative' people. It's like lemex said; I don't judge people. The moment a judgement comes into my mind I recognize it as such and dismiss the negative thought from my mind. It is as if the universe is presenting an opportunity to me to understand and feel compassion/love for him/her and practise non-judgement.

[shivatar]

Which of your dreams are you getting closer to fulfilling?

[lemex]

I've found sometime people are negative for a reason and once a person enters the work door it is the responsibility of the supervisor to know sources and have information to assist if needed. Just saying cause I utilized them. How does one define supervision. There are many company programs one can avail themselves to.

Gosh, todays it's so much more complicated to. Back in the day a supervisor as a friend could call someone in their office and chat, find out if anything was going on, today you can't do that if it's related in any way to work. For instance if in a union work place I've known the union had to be present. Firstandlast's thought of strength from sides resonated with me that it is right and supervisors sometimes do so by thinking outside the box. They will be challenged to make it work by having a plan.

That's why they have the larger salary. :smile:

[CrystalSong]

It is easy to wield a sledge hammer and tear down a structure. Any fool with two arms can destroy.
It takes courage, willpower and fortitude to design and build a structure.

Helping people remember they want to be creators and back creators to bring beauty into the world is helpful. Few people actually want to be destroyers deep inside. They just forget who they are sometimes and need help remembering.
If they refuse, you obviously wouldn't want them on the construction crew right? :)

[lemex]

If they refuse, you obviously wouldn't want them on the construction crew right? :)

Yeah, but you can offer them the opportunity to learn why. Maybe they'll work twice as hard fixing anything they broke. A little inefficiency is ok in my book though I have to accept responsibility for any delay.

[CrystalSong]

Yeah, but you can offer them the opportunity to learn why. Maybe they'll work twice as hard fixing anything they broke. A little inefficiency is ok in my book though I have to accept responsibility for any delay.

Of course, every opportunity should be offered to assist people to do their best, grow, improve and learn. Many of us have benefited by that second and third chance. Inefficiency can easily be cured by training, I was however talking about negative toxic people who resist everything which is proffered about any subject they take umbrage with, which seems to be more what our poster was discussing. People who just can't get on-board and get positive.

There will always be those who have no interest what-so-ever in doing their best or supporting others to do so, their intent is to make others suffer as they do. They are in a mindset of experiencing fear, resistance, and unhappiness.
It is we who learn the lesson of Discerning when we try to change someone who is not ready to change.

[keokutah]

By understanding it is communication. All people have a voice!

Believe it or not, don't judge. :smile: Understand in that place.

You see their perspective and in a time walk in their shoes. It is natural to understand. Realize you understand at many levels and don't even know you do. What if you are an empath. In any given communication and emotion to, you see you are aware. You then experience what is shared. You are observing. I realized some years ago that if others have difficulties in negativity I will to. I know I do. As soon as you sense it one is prepared to fight even though it's not you. Where you have the opportunity to help you separate, we may judge, why, to protect ourselves. I would think teachers and such would be good at this stuff but they aren't either it seems. This is one reason I could never become one. I once said if I lived back in the past at the beginning I'd make a terrible patriarch with what I know today. I'd be saying to God, you can't be serious dude. I'm not going to do that, that's wrong. What's wrong with you. So I'd make a terrible teacher to....lol. I tend to do the opposite, spirituality even seems to be like that to me if you know what I mean. When I give into it, it is only spiritual.

Simply remember if they have problems with negativity, you will to as you understand this most relative emotional force and waveform. We are unable to ever separate ourselves from this relativity. One has the opportunity to help but people get caught up in their own emotion of the experience. I tend to no longer judge. Sometimes the negative person needs someone. Don't think you always have to do something except be present. I wonder if life is based on resonance. It all energy. I think separation is what we are talking about as being most important, how we feel. Attachment on both sides of the fence.

Just wonder if part of it is fear. I tend to engage people and treat them just as that. But this is me.

Thanks, I am definitely an empath too. Maybe I'll try harder to cut emotional attachments there, it has worked in other circumstances when I pick up on the negativity of others.
And how do you not judge?

[keokutah]

I've found sometime people are negative for a reason and once a person enters the work door it is the responsibility of the supervisor to know sources and have information to assist if needed. Just saying cause I utilized them. How does one define supervision. There are many company programs one can avail themselves to.

Gosh, todays it's so much more complicated to. Back in the day a supervisor as a friend could call someone in their office and chat, find out if anything was going on, today you can't do that if it's related in any way to work. For instance if in a union work place I've known the union had to be present. Firstandlast's thought of strength from sides resonated with me that it is right and supervisors sometimes do so by thinking outside the box. They will be challenged to make it work by having a plan.

That's why they have the larger salary. :smile:

I honestly don't know why they're being so negative. The changes that have happened are definitely positive and all of their complaints have been rectified, but it seems like some of these people are purposely going in with a bad attitude, looking for the tiniest of faults to convince themselves that the new changes are a bad thing.
It seems an awful lot to me like they're just afraid of change, despite how awesome the changes have been. They're very hesitant.

I know I wasn't as supportive as I could be to at least one person. I could have been, but his negativity was overwhelming me too much so I decided to step away at the time. And it's a lot of people to organize so I have a hard time trying to talk to everyone one on one, so I may not have been supportive to some others that needed it.

[Alfor]

It sounds like you have not 'sold' your vision to some of the group.

[CrystalSong]

Change is hard for people, and the older they get the harder it is.
So much changes all around us all the time, technology, culture, relationships, economy, beliefs.....sometimes we just need things to stay the same so we can feel secure.
Helping people see the change is beneficial and helping them understand their role in the changes and building excitement around it will help them adapt easier.

[shiningstars]

keokutah,

I don't believe that you can change people for the better necessarily without their own consent. Many people dislike, or even abhor, change. Many people are also prone to negativity, I also get like this.

In other words, as you put your heart into things, it is enough. The effort is good, the outcome is not always in our hands. You have a vibrant, positive spirit and there are others who are touched and lifted by your presence and spirit.

Take that to heart, and don't let the negativity weigh you down. Barriers, and hope.

shiningstars

[Greenslade]

How do you remain true to yourself and stand up for yourself when you're getting so many complaints (not about you personally, but about something you're trying to make work). It's something I love and I truly see the beauty in it, and I just wish they could too.Be infectious.

The human body is an antennae and we transmit and receive scientifically measurable signals from each other all the time - think of how you just know a smiling face and pleasant words can hide a heart full of pain. Every time your heart beats it sends out a 360-degree pulse that others pick up so the 'mechanisms' are already in place and all you have to do is use them more consciously by doing what you came here to do. Get creative and express yourself outwards. Inspire them, overwhelm them, rub off on them - let those emotions (e-motions, energy in motion) do their job. Call it charisma if you like. If you Love it then let that Love shine through, they can't help but feel it. When someone is being negative, visualise yourself emitting high vibrational Love and them 'receiving' it. The more you tell them about it and how it'll benefit them the more comfortable they'll become. Words are vibration and they have power, so there's two extra 'tools', and people also think in pictures so paint one in their heads.

Don't bust your chops fighting their negativity because that's counter-productive, the more you fight the more there is to fight so if people are being too negative recognise where the line is. 'Infect' those you can and build up a critical mass like an avalanche and they will 'infect' others around them.

I honestly don't know why they're being so negative.Talk to them to get to the root of the issue and keep talking until there's nowhere left to go. If you butt heads with them they'll probably take up more of a defensive stance but if you try and understand them better you'll understand better how to out your side of the story across. Expressing their fears brings them to the light and fears tend to shrivel away when they're not hiding in darkness, or they'll come to understand that their fears have no basis.

[Lorelyen]

It's not like I don't want to care at all because as a leader, I still want to do what is best for my people. But I do not want to encourage their negativity and complaints anymore. I wanted them to be involved in the decision making so I let them have a voice, but I am sort of regretting that now. It's not like they ever "help" me anyways, it's always just unconstructive criticism. None of these people are supportive of my endeavors. It's not like I need them to be supportive either. Obviously, we went through a lot of recent changes, all very positive changes, but you know... some people are terrified of even good change, and I'm not sure how to help them through their negative feelings about all the change that has been happening.
Change - some people are adaptable, some aren't. Did you reflect on how they saw the changes? Those who felt the changes were arbitrary might get cynical. Because change in an organisation only rarely benefits workers. It's usually about increasing profit or tightening rules. Not to say that change is bad or unnecessary - it might be forced upon an organisation by some higher authority. It needs people to be engaged at all stages. The Hawthorne Experiment showed that giving people plenty of attention is worth more than all kinds of perks. But then, if the workplace is disrupted things turn defensive...one or more members of staff made redundant, for example.

My rather short-n-sweet sojourn into business studies included a leadership course - why, I haven't a clue. I'll lead nothing. One has one's views on whether leadership can be taught or is inborn. Very basically it included two parts, the first was believing I was far better than the rest of the team... So what should I do to get them to my standard? The second part was me being the slowest, dimmest among them. What could I do for myself to get up to their standard? The result had to be written up to show insights into people etc, ready for a critique.

People are rarely negative in a mundane way without some cause - could be deep rooted but sometimes in response to superficial events. In organisations when change is introduced a certain scepticism, suspicion or unrest at the disturbance to their complacency is to be expected, I suppose.

...

[OpportuneAbundance]

Of course, every opportunity should be offered to assist people to do their best, grow, improve and learn. Many of us have benefited by that second and third chance. Inefficiency can easily be cured by training, I was however talking about negative toxic people who resist everything which is proffered about any subject they take umbrage with, which seems to be more what our poster was discussing. People who just can't get on-board and get positive.

There will always be those who have no interest what-so-ever in doing their best or supporting others to do so, their intent is to make others suffer as they do. They are in a mindset of experiencing fear, resistance, and unhappiness.
It is we who learn the lesson of Discerning when we try to change someone who is not ready to change.

If they lead with fear in their hearts, warm it up with love.

Just as you turn on the lights in the dark room to remove the darkness :hug3:

[SaturninePluto]

People assume things. About others, themselves etc.

As someone an individual, and a human being who has been told many times over myself That I come off as negative I'd like to address how I see this, from a different side of a coin, if you all would accept that terminology.

First negativity differs for people. I try very hard not to judge others. I do not know them. I do not know a thing about them. There are beliefs in telepathy to only site an example or yes empathy another valid example.

Individuals claim to be empaths. I am fine with this. I accept that it is possible.
People run from negative people. They fear another human as much as that negative individual fears change.

It isn't respectful or kind to fear another individual without any knowledge of whom they are. That is a simple feeling and statement. It states clearly there is no caring nor empathy here.

I feel negative sometimes, also I feel positive. It depends on a number of factors. I wish to be told and communicated to- when others see me as negative. Why? so I may work more on myself- personality and my goals. And, my path.

I am told I am negative from the way I speak. A family member who is obviously medically depressed with no doubt and admits it themselves tells me I am depressed when I am actually happy to see them. They play guilt trips. Classifying people as negative, or positive or anything without speaking to that individual yourself, and I hate to say it seems cold and disrespectful- not to a spirit or an angel form, or a demonic negative form, but to a human being on an early plane. Which last time I checked we indeed all are.

To ask others to conform to what you believe is wrong. For others to criticize
The posters (Apology had trouble remembering how to spell your name), beliefs is wrong. To argue about it brings forth harder to deal with feelings negative or otherwise. To state you are an empath and then assume whatever you will about another being is wrong.

To claim you have never ever judged anyone or anything is wrong. Why? In human terms, yes human; it isn't true.

Right or wrong? Negative or positive? Black or white? Here or there? They are words. These may not be negative people, there are indeed however obvious communication issues which is human, and should be worked on by both and all parties involved.

My post does not throw out words of peace light I have not yet used the word love. Those too are words. They all connote and denote different things. Criticism on how one writes or speaks is hurtful. It hurts these maligned, mal-adjusted- negative people. Whom further may not be as negative as we think.

[Dargor]

If I see no use in someone I deem to be unnecessary in my life, I simply cut them out of my life like a piece of spoilt paper and move on.

[lemex]

If they lead with fear in their hearts, warm it up with love.

Just as you turn on the lights in the dark room to remove the darkness :hug3:

Agrees. Again, just because someone says they don't want, they might. Make no judgment on that because it might be false nor be selfish with your love. Every person resists! As the heart does not use logic it is the mind that hardens the heart. Resistance on both sides. :smile: Logic on both sides. There are two aspects of love, receiving and giving.

[Lynn]

Hello

You keep having the same people come into your life until you learn what they have to show you on your path. Do not look at it as just negative look at what is there that can move you forwards on your path.

I will use a more extreme example from what I learned in a woman's support abuse group. We were told that over 90 percent of abused woman will land in a relationship with another abuser. This is for many reasons but the main one being that the woman has not learned self respect and self love for herself. Has not had that place to learn confidence in being solo and being a whole independent person.

When you learn to stand on your own two feet and that you have the same value as your negative people around you then you learn not to attract them. You learn to filter them out before they come attached to you.

You have to also learn that you can not change someone that does not see the need or want to change. Too many times we also attract in the negative as we feel we can "help and change" them and we can not. Change comes from within.

I was with a negative abuser for 33 years, in the time I grew into whom I am today and I embrace those years now as lessons on the path but I would not have anyone live that life I had. I learned I could not change him or fix him that he had his path and I had mine.

Look to whom you are individually and what you want to project out as that person and learn to filter out the negative before there is a hold established.

Lynn

[Sojourner2013]

how am I supposed to be in a leadership position and encourage people to be positive, despite all their doubts and negativity?




Hi Keokutah,

True leadership isn't about encouraging people to be positive. It's about encouraging people to believe in YOUR confidence about a positive vision, despite their doubts and negativity.

I hope this helps.:smile:

[candyfloss28]

My news years resalutiuon(apologies for spelling) is to stay away from all negative. Best thing to do is. If you know they are going to be at a place at a certain time, try to go to that place at a time you know they will not be there, or if you can, find somewhere else you can go to instead.