How do you help others?

[keokutah]

I'm asking you all because I'm sure there's a lot of you who have been guided by Spirit to help others.

I was guided to be a hermit and just focus on healing myself for a long time, but now I'm being guided to help people and I am attracting people into my life who need help, but who don't necessarily want help.

Since I was so focused inwards for so long, it's very difficult for me to learn how to help others while also making sure I'm not turning into a people pleaser. That's the last thing I want, I don't want to bend over backwards for people just to have them hurt me and take advantage of me, I want to help people but also respect and love myself.

I've heard the saying that if someone doesn't want help you can't force them to change. But what is the spiritual thing to do when you are being called to help someone but they don't want to be helped?

And when someone is making really bad choices, are you supposed to just watch them make those bad choices? Do you tell them what you think despite how much they don't want to hear it, despite how much that could hurt them? Do you get a bit aggressive with them and try to force them to stop and see things your way?
Do you support their stupid decisions because you love them and because it's what they want to do (that's what my mom does because she prefers to just please people and I never agreed with that)? Or do you cut them out of your life because you don't want to support their unhealthy decisions?

And what if their bad decisions harm you? What if they are toxic people and helping them might put you in danger? Are you supposed to stick around and encourage that unhealthy behavior? Wouldn't it be in their best interest for you to step away from that situation?

Here's a recent example of someone I'm not sure how to help. I put an add on craigslist looking for a workout partner, any gender since I also have to work on flexibility and most guys aren't into that, and a morbidly obese woman contacted me asking if I could help her because she just had a heart attack and her doctor told her she had to start making healthy lifestyle changes. I didn't realize what her limitations would be when I agreed to help her out. I've never known or trained with an obese person before. I kept suggesting forms of physical activity I thought were easy, but she couldn't even do those things.
So we agreed to meet up and go for a very short walk and do some stretches.
But when I got there, she refused to follow through with our plan, and instead went into the casino, she ordered a soda pop and I ordered a water. I followed her to a table, and we sat down and she just started talking non-stop.
I really tried to get a word in here and there and asked a few times if we were going to go for a walk, but she refused and changed the subject and talked over me.
And when I tried to ask about her current lifestyle, she would tell me things like how she knew soda was bad for her, but she was addicted to it.
And then a few times it felt like she was trying to hit on me, despite our huge age difference. She's about the same age as my Mother, and I quickly told her that's not what this is about, it's strictly about fitness.

After that, she wanted to go up to the pool with me but never showed, saying she was sick. I sent her an encouraging email saying I hope she wouldn't give up, because I suspected she wasn't really sick and just making excuses to get out of it. And then she sent me an email saying she really wants to exercise with me because she likes me and thought we clicked on our first meeting and that she likes spending time with me. And that kind of creeps me out because it seems like she might be hitting on me again... or maybe being overly friendly? I still haven't responded to that because I don't know how to...
Either way, I didn't click with this person at all when we first met, I felt quite disrespected because she wouldn't listen to anything I said, wasn't taking me seriously, and kept talking over me, and it seemed like she was just wasting my time. Maybe that's harsh for me to think that way.
I talked to my Mom who understands Obesity, since her mother died of it at a young age and she told me the reluctance is a true problem, it's not like they are meaning to disrespect you, they are genuinely afraid and it is like an addiction. But my mom also said that it wouldn't be fair to me because this woman will just slow me down and I was originally wanting a workout buddy.
She also said there is nothing I can possibly do to help this woman, if this woman is not ready to actually put some effort into it.

And so I'm at a loss, and I'm not sure what to do. And I'm kind of worried that this woman thinks we met up to go on a date or something, and I really don't want to get involved in that. I was pretty clear that I wasn't interested in a relationship, but I keep getting the feelings she's coming onto me and that's overstepping my personal boundaries and making me feel super uncomfortable.

Anyways, I've noticed other guys will walk into a room and it's like they have this aura of importance and everyone takes them seriously. They listen to what they say, they seem professional.
But when it comes to me, for some reason no one ever takes me seriously.
I'm not actually sure why that is.
I've been told I look younger than my age, but I'm not sure that's why. I've been told some people think I'm attractive, so maybe they only focus on my looks, but still I don't think that's why.

How can I help people if they never take me seriously? It's like they get one look at me, or as soon as I open my mouth, they decide I'm not worth listening to anymore.
What am I doing wrong?
I've taken to wearing suits and dressing more professionally, it hasn't changed a thing.
I think I am pretty confident in the areas I am educated about and that I could have a lot to offer. And I feel called to help these people, and for some reason I'm a magnet recently, to people who are making terrible choices but who are very stubborn and not exactly willing to change, but also most of these people are quite toxic and disrespect me a lot, and because of my old hermit ways, I would much rather not have anything to do with these people.
I don't like being treated badly by people... I don't know what to do.

I'm sure some of you have more experience than I do when it comes to helping others so maybe you can give me some advice.

[bees]

Hi keokutah

Can I ask something please, how do you mean when you say you are "guided to" - how do you feel it as such?

Second, FWIW, I think that your posts on this forum are very helpful and very positive. I for one am grateful. :smile:

:hug2:

[bees]

I'm asking you all because I'm sure there's a lot of you who have been guided by Spirit to help others..

Hi keokutah,

For me, I like to be, and stay, natural.

By natural I mean I say what I feel is appropriate as circumstances arise, if I am moved to act, I will. If not, I am happy and comfortable as I am. I do not feel compelled to "help".

Recently, at a new work place, I found for once in my life I was disrespected. But I suspect that has to do with jealousy. I had to go inwards, and learn from some good people on this forum, that the most important thing is to love and cherish myself. Ergo, I could differentiate between feelings of insecurity that arose, from the true state.

Does it matter if people do not see your beauty and love? I don't think it does. There will be those that do, or not. But the most important thing, I feel, is that you are comfortable and happy within yourself, you are true to your own good heart.

The world is a funny place and yes impressions might matter for them, but..be yourself, be happy, be natural.

Mr Interesting, another poster on this forum, is probably a very good example of someone whom can truly live this way, but I assume he learnt it too through his years of spiritual work.

The other difference I think, is I do not try to "help" i.e. I do not have a concept that I am helping, I am staying natural and trying to just act from my own heart - and that effect will be as it is - so again, be as you will, be natural, share yourself if you wish to but do not fixate so much on how the other person reacts yet stay alert and respect your own time/being etc. recognize I think that everyone is ultimately responsible also for themselves, and your kindness is nothing that is to be sneezed at. If it doesn't hit the mark, that is not the point. You have been true to yourself, right? You cannot control the outcomes, I don't think any of us can and that is in a Buddhist sense, action without attachment.

Think of it like a tree, it offers its shade and nourishment to many living beings but it has no concept of "helping" - it does what it does.

The final point I would make is, as you have started going back out into the world, to learn about boundaries.

Even you feeling guilty because this woman .. that is not on you, in my opinion, yet some level of you has taken it as such. Do not take responsibility for another's reaction or actions, you can only do what you do and feel safe and comfortable with where you are.

Blessings, dearest keokutah.

FWIW

bees

[keokutah]

Hi keokutah,

For me, I like to be, and stay, natural.

By natural I mean I say what I feel is appropriate as circumstances arise, if I am moved to act, I will. If not, I am happy and comfortable as I am. I do not feel compelled to "help".

Recently, at a new work place, I found for once in my life I was disrespected. But I suspect that has to do with jealousy. I had to go inwards, and learn from some good people on this forum, that the most important thing is to love and cherish myself. Ergo, I could differentiate between feelings of insecurity that arose, from the true state.

Does it matter if people do not see your beauty and love? I don't think it does. There will be those that do, or not. But the most important thing, I feel, is that you are comfortable and happy within yourself, you are true to your own good heart.

The world is a funny place and yes impressions might matter for them, but..be yourself, be happy, be natural.

Mr Interesting, another poster on this forum, is probably a very good example of someone whom can truly live this way, but I assume he learnt it too through his years of spiritual work.

The other difference I think, is I do not try to "help" i.e. I do not have a concept that I am helping, I am staying natural and trying to just act from my own heart - and that effect will be as it is - so again, be as you will, be natural, share yourself if you wish to but do not fixate so much on how the other person reacts yet stay alert and respect your own time/being etc. recognize I think that everyone is ultimately responsible also for themselves, and your kindness is nothing that is to be sneezed at. If it doesn't hit the mark, that is not the point. You have been true to yourself, right? You cannot control the outcomes, I don't think any of us can and that is in a Buddhist sense, action without attachment.

Think of it like a tree, it offers its shade and nourishment to many living beings but it has no concept of "helping" - it does what it does.

The final point I would make is, as you have started going back out into the world, to learn about boundaries.

Even you feeling guilty because this woman .. that is not on you, in my opinion, yet some level of you has taken it as such. Do not take responsibility for another's reaction or actions, you can only do what you do and feel safe and comfortable with where you are.

Blessings, dearest keokutah.

FWIW

bees

Thank you, that was all incredibly helpful for me, it has given me lots to think about.

[Clover]

I am going to say this as short and simple as I can; Its not our job to make people 'better' or do better. Sure, I feel we can inspire people, and usually this requires being your own valued authentic self.

Assuming you can change someone or guide them to the light is a road to self created suffering, imho. It also has the capability to create a co dependence mind frame to the other person, so it can backfire.

That saying, do the best you can with the resources you have to offer and move forward. Opt for the path of least resistance.

[bees]

Thank you, that was all incredibly helpful for me, it has given me lots to think about.

You're very welcome :hug:

[keokutah]

Hi keokutah

Can I ask something please, how do you mean when you say you are "guided to" - how do you feel it as such?

Second, FWIW, I think that your posts on this forum are very helpful and very positive. I for one am grateful. :smile:

:hug2:

Well thank you :)
I receive guidance from both my spirit guides and intuition. I am supposed to assist humanity through the coming times.
I'm not entirely sure how that's supposed to happen yet. It's the increase of low-frequency people being magnetized to me that made me feel like I was somewhat responsible for trying to help them in a certain way. Maybe it's not supposed to be that way though, because it's almost like I can't actually help any of them. It all seems so contradicting and confusing to me. Sometimes I feel like even my presence threatens and harms people. It feels like everything I do ends up just hurting them instead. Well, I guess the truth hurts sometimes, but I'm not even sure it wakes people up all the time either, sometimes it just causes them to be in even more denial.

[keokutah]

I am going to say this as short and simple as I can; Its not our job to make people 'better' or do better. Sure, I feel we can inspire people, and usually this requires being your own valued authentic self.

Assuming you can change someone or guide them to the light is a road to self created suffering, imho. It also has the capability to create a co dependence mind frame to the other person, so it can backfire.

That saying, do the best you can with the resources you have to offer and move forward. Opt for the path of least resistance.

Thanks, that resonates a lot with what my experiences have been.

It would be wonderful if I could "assist humanity" by just being myself, and not allowing people to disrespect me.

Come to think of it, I was most likely not being my authentic self during any of those situations.

[bees]

Well thank you :)
I receive guidance from both my spirit guides and intuition. I am supposed to assist humanity through the coming times.
I'm not entirely sure how that's supposed to happen yet. It's the increase of low-frequency people being magnetized to me that made me feel like I was somewhat responsible for trying to help them in a certain way. Maybe it's not supposed to be that way though, because it's almost like I can't actually help any of them. It all seems so contradicting and confusing to me. Sometimes I feel like even my presence threatens and harms people. It feels like everything I do ends up just hurting them instead. Well, I guess the truth hurts sometimes, but I'm not even sure it wakes people up all the time either, sometimes it just causes them to be in even more denial.

Maybe the challenge is to stay true within your compassionate heart, have no expectations or "trying", you would be surprised how helpful that can be.

keokutah, I think, a compassionate heart cannot help but loving others. Loving others is in effect loving self. Help is part of that. But the help I have seen in spiritual masters is borne of love, but never attachment. I think that is the clue.

To be yourself but to not attach to the results of that, to love but not be hindered by love. Maybe as Jyotir (on this forum) says, give all results to God.

Act from peace, love within, and be kind. "Helping" is a construct, but to say we do not try to help is also off the mark. So perhaps the truest way is to find your true, loving self in confidence and from there all things are as they should be.

Love.

[bees]

I have been "helped" by many many people, I would say many Spiritual Masters. I am very blessed, Each has felt different though, in that their love or "help" seems to have no significant investment of "ego" or self i.e no attachment, no reliance (from their side anyway). It's an interesting mix. I don't know how to explain it so well but perhaps this is a journey that you are interested in pursuing: to figure out what this means and figure out how to love, or how to "help" and what that actually means. I learnt early on not to imagine I can help, and therefore staying true within yourself, might be a good early start to all of that. Then any "help" is much more natural and in line with what is possible. I don't know if that makes sense but fwiw.

[Jyotir]

Hi keokutah,

The best advice (imo), is to consistently and diligently hold the attitude that you are not 'helping' others (implicitly condescending, etc.), but rather, serving the Highest in them.
The maintenance of this attitude affords a large measure of protection and guidance (in all the variables you mentioned) - and humility - in that the same Highest is present in both the giving and receiving, the essence and the instrument. It fosters humility because the approach always provides and defines the most meaningful context for that service in every regard:

Sanction of the Highest, Grace of the Highest, fulfillment of the Highest, satisfaction of the Highest.

Service is traditionally one of the mainstays of Yoga (e.g., Karma Yoga).
Fyi, there are many significant writings available on that subject which might be useful, if that is a focal direction of your personal path.

My first recommendations would include:
Swami Vivekananda's 'Karma Yoga'
Sri Aurobindo's, Synthesis of Yoga, in particular the section within that book entitled, 'The Yoga of Divine Works'.



~ J

[keokutah]

I have been "helped" by many many people, I would say many Spiritual Masters. I am very blessed, Each has felt different though, in that their love or "help" seems to have no significant investment of "ego" or self i.e no attachment, no reliance (from their side anyway). It's an interesting mix. I don't know how to explain it so well but perhaps this is a journey that you are interested in pursuing: to figure out what this means and figure out how to love, or how to "help" and what that actually means. I learnt early on not to imagine I can help, and therefore staying true within yourself, might be a good early start to all of that. Then any "help" is much more natural and in line with what is possible. I don't know if that makes sense but fwiw.

Well I am very good at staying true to myself, but I find when I do that, I actually hurt people, and that's what I'm worried about. How is hurting someone in their highest good?

Like for example, if I were to be true to myself, I would tell this lady who is coming onto me that I am not interested in her in that way and I'm also not even single, and then I would feel compelled to cut ties with her because I can sense she's not serious about working out and is just wanting to take advantage of me.
But I know that course of action will also hurt her.

[acorn]

Your doing what you say your mother does....RUN don't walk..from this woman
her motives are not in line with her words...thats all the reason you need ...you owe her nothing...you extended yourself .....now retract yourself.

confidence can be a tricky thing....too much...turns people off ...too little . people will not take you seriously.

You are closer to the sweet spot than you realize...stand tall my friend and be yourself...some people will get hurt ...can't please em all...you are obviously a caring and loving person...stay in that space and let the cards fall where they may

Love
acorn

[Melahin]

Guide them into alignment with their inner being; that inner guidance of feeling good.

[Greenslade]

Like for example, if I were to be true to myself, I would tell this lady who is coming onto me that I am not interested in her in that way and I'm also not even single, and then I would feel compelled to cut ties with her because I can sense she's not serious about working out and is just wanting to take advantage of me.
But I know that course of action will also hurt her.Yes that action might hurt her, but it might also make her stop and think and that's perhaps just what she needs. Helping people isn't always about being nice, often a metaphorical kick in the pants is the best way to tell people that their behaviour isn't acceptable. By being nice to her you're validating her behaviour and she'll do the same thing to someone else, would you like to think someone else will go through what you went through when you could have done something to stop it? If you're worried about your conscience tell yourself you're a lesson for her and that she's welcome.

The question to ask though is what are the reasons for her behaviour? Maybe she's just lonely and attention-seeking or trying to recapture a lost youth - or any other reason from any number. If you take things at face value then you're never going to be able to give the help anyone needs and it says something about you.

[lemex]

Thanks, that resonates a lot with what my experiences have been.

1. It would be wonderful if I could "assist humanity" by just being myself, and...

2. ..... not allowing people to disrespect me.

Come to think of it, I was most likely not being my authentic self during any of those situations.


This is the ego. I'd simply ask any person what is more important 1 or 2. I certainly can relate. 1 is positive and 2 is negative. Should we allow 2 to overwhelm 1, don't entertain it this is what I believe, you can find balance between them. One is unconditional love the other conditioned, but certainly conditional imo. We get to see in reality those things we talk about here. I'd also say it is not your (to include myself) job to force anyone though I know intentions can be perfect and intended to be good.

Let me give an example. When someone writes a post to your post, especially in a rude way, do we get upset and immediately post back a response. The response isn't important the feeling is. That is the feeling on a small scale that can give us a little insight sometimes. One is a choice and the other is a choice, they can become like a waveform that cancel each other out. You have two choices. This may be more a lesson to learn.

This sounds like a revelation saying hurt feelings can keep us from being authentic. True love probably doesn't even consider hurt feeling that's important to remember, we have sometimes spoken about forgiving. :smile: All these are dots that we connect in this matrix. My feeling is everyone should have freedom and once you try taking it away you will have resistance. So many lessons, right. What you can provide is the opportunity and communication. Any thoughts about this, are you thinking the feeling, predicting the reaction of disrespect should or can be different by choosing.

[Aube Borealis]

Hi keokutah,

Blessings you for you for your good deeds, helping the humanity is noble, conditional or unconditional as long as it's for the greater good, it is still a selfless act.

People respect us for what they see in us, but people sometimes show disrespect because sometimes they are not ready to hear or accept the truth, we just have to choose our words sometimes. different folks different stroke as they say.

Hakuna matata....

[lemex]

The need for respect is an attachment!

[Govind]

you can help others according to their needs. You don't have to always help them with money there are many other ways for helping someone and making him happy like if one is feeling alone you can accompany him, listens to their problems and help if you can.

[lemex]

you can help others according to their needs. You don't have to always help them with money there are many other ways for helping someone and making him happy like if one is feeling alone you can accompany him, listens to their problems and help if you can.


Oh my goodness, this post has touched upon something near and dear to my heart, the art of listening. If one does not listen I suddenly realized respect works both ways. I was so hung up on my respect and not another's.

I was thinking a lot about the post made this as a good and fruitful act even if we have questions and I thought how I didn't even acknowledge it because I thought that would be evident and so didn't need to. I guess I'm saying imo there just isn't enough good in the world and I to must praise doing. Act is so important. This even shows we understand good, doesn't it. Think about it.

I've also thought of this in terms of the philosophy of God and how it acts, what we say, how grace is given to all, even to those who disrespect it. Nothing is withheld and equally given. I'm thinking maybe God is even a teacher to. Regardless of others feeling you still provide help and work on faith it is good (even realizing through flaws we may have).

Amazing insight though, listening. Amazing power, listening. This has expanded to a point all becomes multidimensional, hasn't it in such a short time. It's all relative which is why this forum is so great.

[linen53]

Live and let live is my motto. I can be brutally honest with people but in the end it's their choice on how they want to live their life. Maybe they need to go through that experience to learn a life-lesson.

Who are you to decide how they should live their life?

[Greenslade]

you can help others according to their needs. You don't have to always help them with money there are many other ways for helping someone and making him happy like if one is feeling alone you can accompany him, listens to their problems and help if you can.Short of scouring through the entire thread, as far as I'm aware so far nobody has even considered this is the 'service is divine' mode of thought - identifying people's needs in the first place. Until such time that happens any 'service' is going to be naive at best if not dangerous, and intentions aren't going to negate any 'karmic repercussions'.

Until such time as their needs are identified correctly 'service' has no meaning regardless of intentions.

[bees]

Short of scouring through the entire thread, as far as I'm aware so far nobody has even considered this is the 'service is divine' mode of thought - identifying people's needs in the first place. Until such time that happens any 'service' is going to be naive at best if not dangerous, and intentions aren't going to negate any 'karmic repercussions'.

Until such time as their needs are identified correctly 'service' has no meaning regardless of intentions.

Yet no-one needs to "evaluate" a crying child, a hurting man, or a hungry woman, and service, IMO, is an attitude of great humility within, and a blessing without.

One who lives like this is rare, and a true Master. Not saying it's easy to understand what true service means, but I doubt it needs five steps before it either.

[Aube Borealis]

Sometimes telling the truth them doesn't help, some take it as an attack to their being, what I do is pray for them to see the truth for themselves to change their attitudes or bad ways. Seeing them improve their lives and being, that's an accomplishment.

We sometimes focus more on the problem but the process on how it will be taken and results or lessons to be learned from the situation are forgotten.

[Greenslade]

Yet no-one needs to "evaluate" a crying child, a hurting man, or a hungry woman, and service, IMO, is an attitude of great humility within, and a blessing without.

One who lives like this is rare, and a true Master. Not saying it's easy to understand what true service means, but I doubt it needs five steps before it either.Until you find out why the child is crying you can't do much about it, a hurting man might need a lot more than tea and sympathy, if all the hungry woman needs is a meal then fine but if she's a different kind of hungry that might not be so easy to fix. The question that should also arise is "Can we?" if all you have to give is platitudes the hurting man has heard so many times before?

The OP is an excellent example of how someone has only thought about needing to help but misread the situation and had been less than 'equipped' to be of any service. This was a situation where a Spiritual ideology didn't meet 'real Life' in any kind of practical terms and perhaps keokutah is still very confused about what happened - to say the least.

[lemex]

Sometimes telling the truth them doesn't help, some take it as an attack to their being, what I do is pray for them to see the truth for themselves to change their attitudes or bad ways. Seeing them improve their lives and being, that's an accomplishment.

We sometimes focus more on the problem but the process on how it will be taken and results or lessons to be learned from the situation are forgotten.

Can I share this non-secret about communication. This comes from those in the field who study (the affect and effect)) communication. Communication is not always short term but to a greater degree long term. It is many things and has many elements. Though we should be able to see truth what one say's now can help in the long term because it is a process that continues and is invisible, it is also silent. It is also not discussed but it does not mean it is rejected. One plants seeds. One has to be open first and change. Have you ever heard the term, see I told you so. Each are in their own now and there is no preferred right imo, only now exists. We are always in a learning state. This is something I was taught in business and management, communication as a subject I mean, examine and disagree at my own peril. :) I guess I don't over react or see doom and gloom, it is not about me. In the immediate it is invisible within. It will grow or it will not. Information should be nurtured.

Communication is a two way street, not one way. We tend here to feel it and thereby treating it as one way imo. Because it is and linear it follows a lot of times we are asking someone to change, but we know it does not often work immediately in linear ways but are like seeds you plant. I've written about this before. Has anyone ever observed this. It follows physical and universal rules.

See if it does not happen. Parents can especially relate to this of that dynamic. When communication requires some (proposed) change that information has to be processed (through time) into the thoughts of the person. I can give someone advice and it is not unusual it can take days, weeks, months, even years to see such change. Even the way the sender responds can affect it and then you are part of the reason for it so even the sender participates.

Communication is a process and is linear, it follows those rules. It's not late communication or wasted communication but active communication, unseen.

What if a person has a lot of pride this is like admitting one is wrong. I think it's good to have heard things, you are only providing information with no judging. A person cannot operate with the unknown but only what they know. This is what we relate to, the known applied to the unknown. Remember this is often seen as about change.

Can any relate to this? Cause and effect still at work. :smile:

[bees]

Until you find out why the child is crying you can't do much about it, a hurting man might need a lot more than tea and sympathy, if all the hungry woman needs is a meal then fine but if she's a different kind of hungry that might not be so easy to fix. The question that should also arise is "Can we?" if all you have to give is platitudes the hurting man has heard so many times before?

The OP is an excellent example of how someone has only thought about needing to help but misread the situation and had been less than 'equipped' to be of any service. This was a situation where a Spiritual ideology didn't meet 'real Life' in any kind of practical terms and perhaps keokutah is still very confused about what happened - to say the least.

Hey Greenslade,

I'm not saying understanding and wisdom shouldn't be part of the picture, in fact how can it not be, but over analysis paralysis I doubt is the answer either

In some cases, people act from the heart and it's obvious what to do. If someone is crying in front of you you don't need to do a life story analysis before you know that sometimes, that person just needs an accepting presence of their hurt and pain. You don't need to know "why" to feed a hungry person with a banana or apple.

So whilst your examples might be valid to some degree, I was suggesting it's certainly not the only way either by a long shot.

keotukah was being sweet, and I know he will continue to learn and grow, as we all do. For those versed in the heart, I presume it is the heart and intuition of (i.e. its own intrinsic wisdom) that guides them, but that's a lifelong journey for many.

bees.

[Greenslade]

So whilst your examples might be valid to some degree, I was suggesting it's certainly not the only way either by a long shot.

keotukah was being sweet, and I know he will continue to learn and grow, as we all do.

bees.Hi Bees

What you're saying is also valid, I'm not arguing about what you're saying but I'd take a more middle-ground stance and say it's horses for courses. Giving someone a banana is one thing, dealing with an ex-military guy with PTSD who's thinking of committing suicide because he keeps going back to the times when.... You get the picture. He'd tried all the 'usual things' like medication and shrinks, and none of it was any help at all. That's something else entirely and all this 'being of service with good intentions' ideology wouldn't have helped neither. So yes, understanding and wisdom is part of that picture but it's also having the wisdom and understanding to know that we could be out of our depth because we've misread the situation and we're simply not 'equipped' to be of any service. In that case, understanding why they need help and how you're going to give them that help is what you need. Luckily for my friend I'm ex-military too so empathy kicked in and he's now 'on the mend'.

There is no 'only way', not really. If they're hungry, by all means give them an apple if that's all that's needed but not every situation will be as simple.

Keotukah will be fine, Life always leads us to where we need to be.

[bees]

but not every situation will be as simple.

Keotukah will be fine, Life always leads us to where we need to be.

Agreed and this is why (IMO) personal spiritual development, which if followed truly, leads to the unfolding of wisdom (and in some cases transcendent wisdom), is emphasized, otherwise the road to hell and all.

Without personal cultivation, everything can be ineffective, I guess, but it doesn't mean we can't help where we can........nor overcomplicate the very simple words of "be kind" and "take responsibility".

Thanks.

[keokutah]

Yes that action might hurt her, but it might also make her stop and think and that's perhaps just what she needs. Helping people isn't always about being nice, often a metaphorical kick in the pants is the best way to tell people that their behaviour isn't acceptable. By being nice to her you're validating her behaviour and she'll do the same thing to someone else, would you like to think someone else will go through what you went through when you could have done something to stop it? If you're worried about your conscience tell yourself you're a lesson for her and that she's welcome.

The question to ask though is what are the reasons for her behaviour? Maybe she's just lonely and attention-seeking or trying to recapture a lost youth - or any other reason from any number. If you take things at face value then you're never going to be able to give the help anyone needs and it says something about you.

Thanks, I ended up saying that via email and she never contacted me again, so I'm guessing I was right to assume she was never really serious about getting healthy.
I feel like she was genuinely scared about what her doctor said, but not willing to give up her lifestyle yet, and I'm sure she was also lonely.

Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about being authentic during social interactions, which doesn't come easy for me since I'm not very sociable. I did a lot of things wrong in that first interaction with her.
I was so passive and allowed her to cross many boundaries that made me feel uncomfortable, but at least I'm aware of that now so I can practice being more aware in the present.

[naturesflow]

I'm asking you all because I'm sure there's a lot of you who have been guided by Spirit to help others.


I was guided by spirit to help myself and know myself more truthfully. From there, my reflections when I deepen in myself, naturally move through the world as I am. So for me the guide the becomes my inner guide to know and just be as I know myself. The non doing is as important as the doing so for me it becomes a balance of being in the world. I am not seeking to help others but more support and share one with them my space. So I guess in this way I am just open to others and life and as I am plays out in the world as I am in everyway of being me.

I was guided to be a hermit and just focus on healing myself for a long time, but now I'm being guided to help people and I am attracting people into my life who need help, but who don't necessarily want help.

In the guiding externally to be in the doing space, you will always be in that space even as you support or help others, so our awareness building and deepening goes on.

Since I was so focused inwards for so long, it's very difficult for me to learn how to help others while also making sure I'm not turning into a people pleaser. That's the last thing I want, I don't want to bend over backwards for people just to have them hurt me and take advantage of me, I want to help people but also respect and love myself.


Balance of self and others is my motto in life. When I understand the balance of giving and receiving in myself it leads me naturally.
I've heard the saying that if someone doesn't want help you can't force them to change. But what is the spiritual thing to do when you are being called to help someone but they don't want to be helped?


Learn and self reflect to deepen in yourself.

And when someone is making really bad choices, are you supposed to just watch them make those bad choices? Do you tell them what you think despite how much they don't want to hear it, despite how much that could hurt them? Do you get a bit aggressive with them and try to force them to stop and see things your way?


We cant stop others in their own process and choices. Discernment and awareness considers much in the whole of those questions, so I open in myself to reflect first on them to get more clear to know what my part is in all that. The greatest gift to another is acceptance and understanding through their chaos and crisis even if we know they could be doing differently. Sometimes making mistakes over and over is seeking acknowledgment in some way of itself so this is important imo, to be aware of .
Do you support their stupid decisions because you love them and because it's what they want to do (that's what my mom does because she prefers to just please people and I never agreed with that)? Or do you cut them out of your life because you don't want to support their unhealthy decisions?


Boundaries are important learning, self truth is important to find your space. Listening to yourself first then listening to more around you opens a more centered and truthful way of being in the world with others. Sometimes loving them without doing anything, is enough.

And what if their bad decisions harm you? What if they are toxic people and helping them might put you in danger? Are you supposed to stick around and encourage that unhealthy behavior? Wouldn't it be in their best interest for you to step away from that situation?


It is your truth to know. Boundaries are important to self awareness and deeper grounding which serves as our protection. Listen to yourself and your needs and always keep yourself safe where you can. Be aware of loving and creating co dependent relationships which can bring us down and give no space to the relationship. Loving and creating space between to let things move as they need not as you need or think they should be.

Here's a recent example of someone I'm not sure how to help. I put an add on craigslist looking for a workout partner, any gender since I also have to work on flexibility and most guys aren't into that, and a morbidly obese woman contacted me asking if I could help her because she just had a heart attack and her doctor told her she had to start making healthy lifestyle changes. I didn't realize what her limitations would be when I agreed to help her out. I've never known or trained with an obese person before. I kept suggesting forms of physical activity I thought were easy, but she couldn't even do those things.
So we agreed to meet up and go for a very short walk and do some stretches.
But when I got there, she refused to follow through with our plan, and instead went into the casino, she ordered a soda pop and I ordered a water. I followed her to a table, and we sat down and she just started talking non-stop.
I really tried to get a word in here and there and asked a few times if we were going to go for a walk, but she refused and changed the subject and talked over me.
And when I tried to ask about her current lifestyle, she would tell me things like how she knew soda was bad for her, but she was addicted to it.
And then a few times it felt like she was trying to hit on me, despite our huge age difference. She's about the same age as my Mother, and I quickly told her that's not what this is about, it's strictly about fitness.

After that, she wanted to go up to the pool with me but never showed, saying she was sick. I sent her an encouraging email saying I hope she wouldn't give up, because I suspected she wasn't really sick and just making excuses to get out of it. And then she sent me an email saying she really wants to exercise with me because she likes me and thought we clicked on our first meeting and that she likes spending time with me. And that kind of creeps me out because it seems like she might be hitting on me again... or maybe being overly friendly? I still haven't responded to that because I don't know how to...
Either way, I didn't click with this person at all when we first met, I felt quite disrespected because she wouldn't listen to anything I said, wasn't taking me seriously, and kept talking over me, and it seemed like she was just wasting my time. Maybe that's harsh for me to think that way.
I talked to my Mom who understands Obesity, since her mother died of it at a young age and she told me the reluctance is a true problem, it's not like they are meaning to disrespect you, they are genuinely afraid and it is like an addiction. But my mom also said that it wouldn't be fair to me because this woman will just slow me down and I was originally wanting a workout buddy.
She also said there is nothing I can possibly do to help this woman, if this woman is not ready to actually put some effort into it.

And so I'm at a loss, and I'm not sure what to do. And I'm kind of worried that this woman thinks we met up to go on a date or something, and I really don't want to get involved in that. I was pretty clear that I wasn't interested in a relationship, but I keep getting the feelings she's coming onto me and that's overstepping my personal boundaries and making me feel super uncomfortable.

Anyways, I've noticed other guys will walk into a room and it's like they have this aura of importance and everyone takes them seriously. They listen to what they say, they seem professional.
But when it comes to me, for some reason no one ever takes me seriously.
I'm not actually sure why that is.
I've been told I look younger than my age, but I'm not sure that's why. I've been told some people think I'm attractive, so maybe they only focus on my looks, but still I don't think that's why.

How can I help people if they never take me seriously? It's like they get one look at me, or as soon as I open my mouth, they decide I'm not worth listening to anymore.
What am I doing wrong?
I've taken to wearing suits and dressing more professionally, it hasn't changed a thing.
I think I am pretty confident in the areas I am educated about and that I could have a lot to offer. And I feel called to help these people, and for some reason I'm a magnet recently, to people who are making terrible choices but who are very stubborn and not exactly willing to change, but also most of these people are quite toxic and disrespect me a lot, and because of my old hermit ways, I would much rather not have anything to do with these people.
I don't like being treated badly by people... I don't know what to do.

I'm sure some of you have more experience than I do when it comes to helping others so maybe you can give me some advice.[/QUOTE]

[keokutah]

I can see both of your points (Bees, what does suspended mean, are you still here?) and (Greenslade). Obviously given my situation I can relate more to Greenslades point of view, it's difficult to help someone if you don't know their whole story, but I've also had people touch my life in the smallest ways, even if they didn't know how to help, it still meant a lot to me that they even wanted to, and that means a lot to me these days in a world full of careless people.

But if I actually wanted to help someone, I would have to know more, and I would have to follow my intuition. Because social interactions are full of lies and people saying what they don't really mean.

Either way, I've come to the conclusion that I am not meant to help people in this way.
When my spirit guides said I am supposed to assist humanity, they didn't mean it in a hands-on way. But they do want me to work on my social skills regardless, because my social skills suck LoL.

And I am very happy that I have learned this lesson in how to be more authentic to myself in social situations and how to handle people that I cannot help. These people that are being attracted into my life right now are all teaching me very valuable lessons about how to set boundaries and actually follow through with them.

[keokutah]

I was guided by spirit to help myself and know myself more truthfully. From there, my reflections when I deepen in myself, naturally move through the world as I am. So for me the guide the becomes my inner guide to know and just be as I know myself. The non doing is as important as the doing so for me it becomes a balance of being in the world. I am not seeking to help others but more support and share one with them my space. So I guess in this way I am just open to others and life and as I am plays out in the world as I am in everyway of being me.


In the guiding externally to be in the doing space, you will always be in that space even as you support or help others, so our awareness building and deepening goes on.



Balance of self and others is my motto in life. When I understand the balance of giving and receiving in myself it leads me naturally.



Learn and self reflect to deepen in yourself.




We cant stop others in their own process and choices. Discernment and awareness considers much in the whole of those questions, so I open in myself to reflect first on them to get more clear to know what my part is in all that. The greatest gift to another is acceptance and understanding through their chaos and crisis even if we know they could be doing differently. Sometimes making mistakes over and over is seeking acknowledgment in some way of itself so this is important imo, to be aware of .



Boundaries are important learning, self truth is important to find your space. Listening to yourself first then listening to more around you opens a more centered and truthful way of being in the world with others. Sometimes loving them without doing anything, is enough.




It is your truth to know. Boundaries are important to self awareness and deeper grounding which serves as our protection. Listen to yourself and your needs and always keep yourself safe where you can. Be aware of loving and creating co dependent relationships which can bring us down and give no space to the relationship. Loving and creating space between to let things move as they need not as you need or think they should be.

[/QUOTE]

Thank you very much, that all resonates with me a lot and is very helpful.

Can I ask, how do you keep that balance?

[naturesflow]

Thank you very much, that all resonates with me a lot and is very helpful.

Can I ask, how do you keep that balance?

Take care of myself first and foremost. Listen to all that is moving in myself so that I can let go and get more clear around others. Most often I am not even in doing mode. I am now in being mode, so I don't have desires or needs to fix others, but more just open to be myself with less desire or need impeding upon others...I am more being myself clear.... Letting go of all expectations around others is a biggy as is judgment. Holding your own space is sometimes more powerful for change than needing to make others be. They will learn to be themselves in their own choices and process. It is not my say in how and when that will be done.


"BE the change you wish to see"

[keokutah]

Take care of myself first and foremost. Listen to all that is moving in myself so that I can let go and get more clear around others. Most often I am not even in doing mode. I am now in being mode, so I don't have desires or needs to fix others, but more just open to be myself with less desire or need impeding upon others...I am more being myself clear.... Letting go of all expectations around others is a biggy as is judgment. Holding your own space is sometimes more powerful for change than needing to make others be. They will learn to be themselves in their own choices and process. It is not my say in how and when that will be done.


"BE the change you wish to see"


I can easily be that way on my own, but it doesn't seem that easy when people are surrounding me? Maybe I have social anxiety? I'm not sure why I phrased that in a question because I'm certain that I do have social anxiety.
Going within really doesn't help with that, especially in times when I am expected to go outwards.

[naturesflow]

I can easily be that way on my own, but it doesn't seem that easy when people are surrounding me? Maybe I have social anxiety? I'm not sure why I phrased that in a question because I'm certain that I do have social anxiety.
Going within really doesn't help with that, especially in times when I am expected to go outwards.


It can be a challenge to hold your presence when around others, because we are affected by others in our internal reactions, so we are dealing with a lot more than just ourselves. People and situations in life will challenge us to stay more present in ourselves and let others be. When your listening to yourself, you can choose more wisely with what is coming in from others. If you have social anxiety then the challenges would reflect a lot more in how you deal and relate. Moving away from yourself towards others dealing with this issue could have you setting yourself up to deal with others rather than deal with your own anxiety. When I have been uncomfortable in groups, in the past, I would make others the priority so the movements were not pointing towards me. I didn't want to face my anxiety, but now days I am more open and less attached to external movements of others because I have let go of my anxiety so I don't mind if the reflections are on me in these situations. For me to move from others back to self can challenge you to face much your not willing or cannot face in yourself, which is ok. We deal and do as we need.

As an example tonight I was in a large group gathering and I had a situation that took me back to my old trauma that related to anxiety, I stayed present with myself and let it go in the moment. In the past I would avoid myself, but now I can no longer do this, my clarity in me is aware of the whole space in me, so I have no where to run or hide now. I know that these things pass fast now. The rest of the evening, I let go and had the best night.

[Greenslade]

Thanks, I ended up saying that via email and she never contacted me again, so I'm guessing I was right to assume she was never really serious about getting healthy.
I feel like she was genuinely scared about what her doctor said, but not willing to give up her lifestyle yet, and I'm sure she was also lonely.

Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about being authentic during social interactions, which doesn't come easy for me since I'm not very sociable. I did a lot of things wrong in that first interaction with her.
I was so passive and allowed her to cross many boundaries that made me feel uncomfortable, but at least I'm aware of that now so I can practice being more aware in the present.If I was your Guide I'd be sitting here with a smile on my face, so well done you.

There are often other factors at play here other than just being of service that isn't even considered, one of them being what people have come here to experience - which is what's coming through here. We can't know what they are often but at least we can try to make a difference to people and offer them the opportunity. Often the best we can do is do our best and the rest is up to the Universe. Perhaps she just needed a friend, someone to acknowledge her existence and to some people that's a powerful service to provide. Perhaps if she thought there was someone who actually gave a damn it might provide the inspiration to turn her Life around and that would be a great service.

The other thing to consider is that you might have done her a service by not doing her a service. If others have been telling her she needed a healthier lifestyle she might have thought you were just another busybody whose nose wasn't welcome. You not being a busybody could have been a refreshing change

Don't so yourself an injustice though, do yourself a favour and drop the 'wrong'. You're thinking about it, you're learning from it so perhaps that was the whole reason for it all happening. If you're not very sociable then you won't have as much Life experience as you might have needed to deal with it more effectively, but now you're heading down that road so it's not all doom and gloom. Perhaps in her unconscious way she was doing you a service by bringing you here and when you think of it that way it completely changes.

If it's any help, it's sometimes worth stepping back from a situation if you're uncomfortable with it and letting it just unfold as it will. Often when we're immersed in the experience we're blinkered and detaching from it gives a more objective perspective.

[Greenslade]

I can see both of your points (Bees, what does suspended mean, are you still here?) and (Greenslade). Obviously given my situation I can relate more to Greenslades point of view, it's difficult to help someone if you don't know their whole story, but I've also had people touch my life in the smallest ways, even if they didn't know how to help, it still meant a lot to me that they even wanted to, and that means a lot to me these days in a world full of careless people.

But if I actually wanted to help someone, I would have to know more, and I would have to follow my intuition. Because social interactions are full of lies and people saying what they don't really mean.There's often a sliding scale with this and it's horses for courses most of the time. Sometimes we can be of service with the smallest of deeds, as you said even knowing someone wants to help or having your existence acknowledged can turn a Life around. Been there. Other times though, we have to gather more information because we'd find ourselves too far out of our depths pretty quickly, and we have to recognise our own limitations.

Interactions aren't always full of lies, what they're sometimes full of is the masks that people out on because they don't want you to see the real picture and sometimes that comes from insecurity. Others can be quite honest but unable to identify their needs never mind express them. But granted, some will lie through their teeth.

While boundaries keep people out they also keep you in, and while all you see is all you look at if you focus on boundaries that's where your attention goes. If you detach from the situation and 'rise above it' your perspective is more unfettered and with practice it becomes automatic. You see much more and get a lot less 'flak'.

The amazing thing though is experiencing a Universe beyond the theologies and ideologies, where the Spiritual and 'real Life' come together. It feels like reality.

[keokutah]

It can be a challenge to hold your presence when around others, because we are affected by others in our internal reactions, so we are dealing with a lot more than just ourselves. People and situations in life will challenge us to stay more present in ourselves and let others be. When your listening to yourself, you can choose more wisely with what is coming in from others. If you have social anxiety then the challenges would reflect a lot more in how you deal and relate. Moving away from yourself towards others dealing with this issue could have you setting yourself up to deal with others rather than deal with your own anxiety. When I have been uncomfortable in groups, in the past, I would make others the priority so the movements were not pointing towards me. I didn't want to face my anxiety, but now days I am more open and less attached to external movements of others because I have let go of my anxiety so I don't mind if the reflections are on me in these situations. For me to move from others back to self can challenge you to face much your not willing or cannot face in yourself, which is ok. We deal and do as we need.

As an example tonight I was in a large group gathering and I had a situation that took me back to my old trauma that related to anxiety, I stayed present with myself and let it go in the moment. In the past I would avoid myself, but now I can no longer do this, my clarity in me is aware of the whole space in me, so I have no where to run or hide now. I know that these things pass fast now. The rest of the evening, I let go and had the best night.

Thanks! I'm glad to hear that you've managed to get to that place, and it gives me hope I might be able to as well.
I am going to try to be more self-aware during social interactions to see if I can deal with the anxiety as it comes up.
Maybe that's why I was recently called to work on breathing exercises and learning to control my heart rate as well.

[keokutah]

If I was your Guide I'd be sitting here with a smile on my face, so well done you.

There are often other factors at play here other than just being of service that isn't even considered, one of them being what people have come here to experience - which is what's coming through here. We can't know what they are often but at least we can try to make a difference to people and offer them the opportunity. Often the best we can do is do our best and the rest is up to the Universe. Perhaps she just needed a friend, someone to acknowledge her existence and to some people that's a powerful service to provide. Perhaps if she thought there was someone who actually gave a damn it might provide the inspiration to turn her Life around and that would be a great service.

The other thing to consider is that you might have done her a service by not doing her a service. If others have been telling her she needed a healthier lifestyle she might have thought you were just another busybody whose nose wasn't welcome. You not being a busybody could have been a refreshing change

Don't so yourself an injustice though, do yourself a favour and drop the 'wrong'. You're thinking about it, you're learning from it so perhaps that was the whole reason for it all happening. If you're not very sociable then you won't have as much Life experience as you might have needed to deal with it more effectively, but now you're heading down that road so it's not all doom and gloom. Perhaps in her unconscious way she was doing you a service by bringing you here and when you think of it that way it completely changes.

If it's any help, it's sometimes worth stepping back from a situation if you're uncomfortable with it and letting it just unfold as it will. Often when we're immersed in the experience we're blinkered and detaching from it gives a more objective perspective.

Thanks, yeah it's probably more of a life lesson for me. I don't think she learned anything from me rejecting her, in fact I think it made her even more desperate and worsened her behaviors but I know I shouldn't blame myself for that.
Because out of a complete coincidence or synchronicity, I ended up posting another add on craigslist yesterday night looking for some lumbar for woodworking, and she contacted me just this morning using her real name, obviously not knowing it was me. How weird it is that I would hear from her again, it's obviously a sign of some sort.
But let's just say what she wrote was very crude and suggestive and obviously had nothing to do with my add. It's evident to me that her behaviors have worsened since our first encounter, and I really hope that's not my fault. It probably is, I seem to bring the worst out in people but maybe that's a good thing.

I can't help but feel like something about our meeting and the rejection might have really triggered her and made her feel worse, and instead of using that to get healthy, she's doing the opposite. There's nothing I can really do for someone who is so keen on derailing their life. Maybe she'll hit rock bottom or something and end up getting help eventually.

The good thing about me finding this out is that now I don't feel as bad for rejecting her because it's obviously not the first time she's played random guys like that.

[Shivani Devi]

I don't help others at all....anymore.

I came to realise that the more I helped, the more I was expected to help, the more my help was taken for granted, the greedier people became and the more I was misused and mistreated as a result of my helping.

I came to realise that my help wasn't helping whatsoever and whenever I needed help, there was nobody around to do so...everybody expects me to drop everything for them, but will never lift a finger to help me...then, when for whatever reason I couldn't help, I was made to feel guilty as all hell, being called names like 'selfish', 'uncaring' and 'inconsiderate'.

I have made up my mind never to help another soul as long as I live and to only help myself.

I have the label of being 'selfish' anyway, whatever I do...so I may as well fully live up to it because nothing is going to change unless I make it change.

Now, I hate and detest helping people because I have been hurt way too much by doing so in the past.

[keokutah]

My spirit guide just taught me why people don't take me seriously.

Because I can't be true to myself and be taken seriously at the same time, it's not possible to have both (at least not in this society).
Because my true self is eccentric, unorthodox, spiritual, emotional and my true self just doesn't make sense to people in general. These people aren't accustom to living next to my kind of truth. So of course they aren't going to take me seriously. And that's a good thing, because I'm not supposed to be taken seriously.

Man, I'm not sure why that was so hard for me to learn.

[bluebird21]

I was guided to be a hermit and just focus on healing myself for a long time, but now I'm being guided to help people and I am attracting people into my life who need help, but who don't necessarily want help.



I am nearly certain that you can not help a person who truly is not receptive to help. You can help people help themselves.

My greatest advice is feel the Love in your heart and show them that. People want to feel Loved. It's really quite simple. And when you have awoken to Love then you can share that energy just by really being present with another. Also, meet someone where they are at. What could benefit one person the most could be giving them a sandwich, another person giving them a copy of the Tao Te Ching. Lastly holding space for people. People want to be listened to and allowed to be just as they are. Less giving advice and more just being there and listening. Look up holding space if you like.

Good luck.

[Völvawitch]

I don't help people because I know that I can't.

I am unable to make or uphold contact with others and I can barely empathise with anyone so it would be pretty useless for me to try helping others.

Educating/teaching people would be interesting though.

[lemex]

;/''I don't help others at all....anymore.

I came to realise that the more I helped, the more I was expected to help, the more my help was taken for granted, the greedier people became and the more I was misused and mistreated as a result of my helping.

I came to realise that my help wasn't helping whatsoever and whenever I needed help, there was nobody around to do so...everybody expects me to drop everything for them, but will never lift a finger to help me...then, when for whatever reason I couldn't help, I was made to feel guilty as all hell, being called names like 'selfish', 'uncaring' and 'inconsiderate'.

I have made up my mind never to help another soul as long as I live and to only help myself.

I have the label of being 'selfish' anyway, whatever I do...so I may as well fully live up to it because nothing is going to change unless I make it change.

Now, I hate and detest helping people because I have been hurt way too much by doing so in the past.

Absolutely understands. This is a very common feeling imo and truthfully I wonder if this is one background many of us share. A background of emotional logic is what I call it. logic applied to it. Logic justifies. I can relate to it. Not much love being shared by anyone. This is even a form of act based of being angry (upset) based on emotion (level) for me. Do we provide and put ourselves out there and have these expectations we don't see materialize? We don't hear a thank you, don't see results and it's not appreciated, what ever this it is. This 'it" is our consciousness. It isn't the money we give or the time we give or anything material. There is a time lag, always will be. If you had faith it would help but you knew you wouldn't see "it", what is more important that affects our decision. We get the I know I can't do anything logic. I would encourage nothing but love, been there done that and I to asked for help and not everyone did, but some did. We are here to learn in all things. imo both sides must see, cause and effect apply to each to.

Anyway, then we can get angry and stop help or helping. We protect ourselves, the defenses of the ego to do what we need to. It can lead to that. I think this is how we can become hardharted because we have been injured inside, maybe the helpers to, everyone. How much sympathy must I have because now I do not have as much as I once did. I mean this is what I found when I looked inside. It affects not only me but affects others as well that follows. I have said before we may not know how to love and have to learn. Lesson learned or lesson started?

When you turn off your love and make it conditional then you withdraw it on a condition of I, but what about they. "I". I have yet to receive a thank you nor have I ever said it when I should have. Just remember as to how you feel is how others can feel. It helps in knowing this. You don't know if years later the person you help (not helped) would say thank you but you are not there, here you must forgive me. There are 2 nows in one now, mine and yours. It happens. Yet by not helping it would never have been. Love should not be based on I need to know. Remember a lot of this stuff you won't see. This is merely a perspective of someone who needed some help once. Just a thought I was seeing. Is thinking with the heart merely logic.

[lemex]

I am attracting people into my life who need help, but who don't necessarily want help.

Hopefully your guides will confirm this. Your's is a more direct approach. I've been thinking and thinking and reflecting on this for a while now and I suddenly realized, it is not true. You must understand it at the level it is not. You are thinking in terms of appearance which can be the illusion of truth. :smile: I'd be interest to know as I do not have guides to tell me. You're eyes are open where others close them. Anyway learn to say no! You are not obligated not to. :smile:

[The Taoist]

Hello' Keokutah:












Your energies attracted my attention immediately....as it appears that...you are one of many here and in other website communities and groups who is now....opening and exploring and examining oneself....in order to heal and change one's limiting actions, attitudes, perceptions, focus, intent and beliefs...which are the base....of one's own creations.

You have told a clear story of personal challenge, frustrations and confusions.....and in that....there are clear answers....and...as I focus on ...and listen to....the 'essence' of your challenge.....is it clear that.....your present challenge involves....the...”RECOGNITION OF ONE'S INTENT”.....and.....”TRUST IN ONE'S ABILITIES”.


Your choice to help others is an honorable and respected one....as it is a pathway towards greater attunement with....UNIVERSAL ONENESS.

And...the recognition that....as we help others...we are truly...helping ourselves...as...WE ARE ALL ONE.


As there are many out there who …...believe that...if they learn or understand a spiritual concept or Universal Law...that somehow...they are now above and beyond others....that....they have learned the key spiritual laws or lessons or other Universal principles and in that...they are now....evolved and complete.

This is erroneous.

For...anyone can place the symbol of an avatar such as.....a symbol of Oneness....and claim to be....enlightened or...evolved...way above others...and shout to the world...”I have learned and understood these Universal Laws and I am now....evolved and beyond what I once was”.....but this does not make it so.....or...one may post a symbol of say....a picture of a Taoist or Monk or Priest...on one's page...but....that does not mean that....this individual practices ALL Taoist concepts or principles or that...this individual is somehow.....enlightened or evolved....just because he or she places the image of a Taoist on their page or makes statements similar to other Taoists or Monks in that particular line of spiritual thought.

For......in order to truly evolve and be that advanced or...enlightened individual.....one has to literally...change one's vibrational frequencies and.....BECOME those principles or concepts and.... LIVE...by those Universal Laws.

One has to change one's own morals...ethics.....personal beliefs and....BECOME those higher energies, concepts and principles......not just..parrot those principles to others...hoping that somehow....others will believe him or her....while at the same time....this individual is still living in that lower level of......ego drama, egocentric behaviors or lower density of consciousness......so that he or she will have some form of...self-importance, ego fluffing or self-gratification.

The true nature of evolving is where....one authentically & literally.....moves into those higher energies...those higher principles, those higher vibrations and....BECOMES those energies.

And this will be obvious to others....as they observe, analyze and examine ( both mentally and psychically) and FEEL.... said individual....and in this....there will be the acknowledgment or inner validation that...this individual....IS.....enlightened or spiritually evolved....for they not only speak of the spiritual principles and laws....they also....LIVE IT.

As my old friend ( A highly evolved spiritual teacher) used to say.....”There are those who ...walk the walk....and those who....talk the talk”. And most....simply talk the talk.


And so.....wait.t..t......././......




(Moving into higher Higher Self frequencies)




Greetings and good afternoon Keokutah:



Now, what the Interpreter Taoist has expressed regarding 'one's intent' is a major issue with your current movement into your higher learning and growth and spiritual pathways, as your currently expressed issue is merely an element of your intent.

I may suggest to you, that the general theme that you have chosen to focus on presently is to be generating your own creations, and in that, creating your own design in any direction.

Now, the reason that there is a feeling, of a lack of belonging or acceptance from others is that....this is 'your' creation or intent. And you express the freedom to create that in the manner that you choose.

Now; let me suggest to you, do not credit the other individual with your allowance of yourself. It is your expression that is different. For in that type of energy, in interaction with that type of energy, you allow yourself to express yourself much more easily, much more fully and much more freely. But that is your credit, not the other individual’s.

This is significant to remember, for there are many other individuals within your reality that express a similar type of energy, and the key is your allowance of yourself to be expressing yourself in your freedom.

It is all about...”YOUR ALLOWANCE OF YOURSELF”. That is a significant expression for you to explore, examine and evaluate, what you allow yourself to express or project. And the reason you do not believe that you may be experiencing this energy with another individual is that you have not yet realized that YOU are creating that, not the other individual.

For in any scenario in which you engage another individual and you allow yourself to experience that genuine interconnectedness, most individuals automatically, without thought, credit the other individual for pulling that expression, out of you and allowing you to flower and to experience.

What becomes the block and the restriction, in which you do not allow yourself to move into that experience of recognition of one's power to manifest, is that you are offering the credit of all of the action and all of the experience to the other individual. Therefore, if you are not engaging the other individual, you cannot experience that, for you did not create it. He or she created the experience, and therefore you have lost the experience forever. But the other individual did not create the experience! YOU created the experience.

And, what you are doing, in actuality, is offering to yourself a validation to be recognizing your own movement in association with your beliefs and values and learning lessons, and allowing yourself to recognize that you have generated a movement in association with self awareness and empowerment in which you have allowed yourself somewhat to be observing self and recognizing self and one's own challenges which are influencing or effecting your life.

It is not a matter of recognizing your truths and thusly opposing them and generating the direction that you must change them for they are bad, but recognizing that they are your guidelines in how you choose to create your reality. This is about....”Being aware of yourself, of what motivates you, of what you do and how you communicate to yourself, being aware of 'what' you communicate to yourself through different avenues of expression”.

Therefore, your current expressions in this forum letter are all actions that allow you to become much more aware of you and what you are actually doing. That is the key, what you are actually doing. For, generally speaking, most individuals within your reality are not generally aware of what they are actually doing.

As it is not a matter of what you want from your world, or what you want from other individuals. What you genuinely desire is to allow yourself to express you, in order to KNOW SELF. That is what you genuinely want, for that is what you generally deny.

Therefore, it is about “Recognizing NOT opposing”.


I may suggest to you that you utilize a gentleness with yourself and be aware of expectations that you express of yourself, and allow yourself that gentleness and to be acknowledging of yourself rather than continuing to express this opposing energy and judgment of yourself that you are not accomplishing well enough yet.

It is not a matter of striving, my friend. It is a matter of BEING and being aware of what you are doing, and allowing yourself to acknowledge that and appreciate what you are already generating, rather than devaluing or rejecting yourself in what you perceive as lack.

And, remember, change is the nature of consciousness; therefore, you may assure yourself that you are not trapped or stuck, my friend.

In this, I shall energize supportiveness and encouragement to you in helpfulness for you to rediscover your allowance of yourself and your openness to your own expressions, to generate similar experiences of those that you long for.

In the name of the infinite One Universal Creator.............Thine Will Be Done!





(Session completes)









Well, that was an engulfing moment...LOL.



And...I would suggest to you....to re-read and reflect on this and....truly contemplate the greater meaning of this message....and how it pertains to you.



I wish you a fulfilling and enlightening day, my friend.


Remember....at the end of one's life lessons...when one is ready to move into those higher dimensions of Divinity and Light.....there is only one most important question that one needs to ask oneself.....which is......”HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE I HELPED....AND....HOW WELL”.














In Light & Harmony Taoist

[keokutah]

Hello' Keokutah:












Your energies attracted my attention immediately....as it appears that...you are one of many here and in other website communities and groups who is now....opening and exploring and examining oneself....in order to heal and change one's limiting actions, attitudes, perceptions, focus, intent and beliefs...which are the base....of one's own creations.

You have told a clear story of personal challenge, frustrations and confusions.....and in that....there are clear answers....and...as I focus on ...and listen to....the 'essence' of your challenge.....is it clear that.....your present challenge involves....the...”RECOGNITION OF ONE'S INTENT”.....and.....”TRUST IN ONE'S ABILITIES”.


Your choice to help others is an honorable and respected one....as it is a pathway towards greater attunement with....UNIVERSAL ONENESS.

And...the recognition that....as we help others...we are truly...helping ourselves...as...WE ARE ALL ONE.


As there are many out there who …...believe that...if they learn or understand a spiritual concept or Universal Law...that somehow...they are now above and beyond others....that....they have learned the key spiritual laws or lessons or other Universal principles and in that...they are now....evolved and complete.

This is erroneous.

For...anyone can place the symbol of an avatar such as.....a symbol of Oneness....and claim to be....enlightened or...evolved...way above others...and shout to the world...”I have learned and understood these Universal Laws and I am now....evolved and beyond what I once was”.....but this does not make it so.....or...one may post a symbol of say....a picture of a Taoist or Monk or Priest...on one's page...but....that does not mean that....this individual practices ALL Taoist concepts or principles or that...this individual is somehow.....enlightened or evolved....just because he or she places the image of a Taoist on their page or makes statements similar to other Taoists or Monks in that particular line of spiritual thought.

For......in order to truly evolve and be that advanced or...enlightened individual.....one has to literally...change one's vibrational frequencies and.....BECOME those principles or concepts and.... LIVE...by those Universal Laws.

One has to change one's own morals...ethics.....personal beliefs and....BECOME those higher energies, concepts and principles......not just..parrot those principles to others...hoping that somehow....others will believe him or her....while at the same time....this individual is still living in that lower level of......ego drama, egocentric behaviors or lower density of consciousness......so that he or she will have some form of...self-importance, ego fluffing or self-gratification.

The true nature of evolving is where....one authentically & literally.....moves into those higher energies...those higher principles, those higher vibrations and....BECOMES those energies.

And this will be obvious to others....as they observe, analyze and examine ( both mentally and psychically) and FEEL.... said individual....and in this....there will be the acknowledgment or inner validation that...this individual....IS.....enlightened or spiritually evolved....for they not only speak of the spiritual principles and laws....they also....LIVE IT.

As my old friend ( A highly evolved spiritual teacher) used to say.....”There are those who ...walk the walk....and those who....talk the talk”. And most....simply talk the talk.


And so.....wait.t..t......././......




(Moving into higher Higher Self frequencies)




Greetings and good afternoon Keokutah:



Now, what the Interpreter Taoist has expressed regarding 'one's intent' is a major issue with your current movement into your higher learning and growth and spiritual pathways, as your currently expressed issue is merely an element of your intent.

I may suggest to you, that the general theme that you have chosen to focus on presently is to be generating your own creations, and in that, creating your own design in any direction.

Now, the reason that there is a feeling, of a lack of belonging or acceptance from others is that....this is 'your' creation or intent. And you express the freedom to create that in the manner that you choose.

Now; let me suggest to you, do not credit the other individual with your allowance of yourself. It is your expression that is different. For in that type of energy, in interaction with that type of energy, you allow yourself to express yourself much more easily, much more fully and much more freely. But that is your credit, not the other individual’s.

This is significant to remember, for there are many other individuals within your reality that express a similar type of energy, and the key is your allowance of yourself to be expressing yourself in your freedom.

It is all about...”YOUR ALLOWANCE OF YOURSELF”. That is a significant expression for you to explore, examine and evaluate, what you allow yourself to express or project. And the reason you do not believe that you may be experiencing this energy with another individual is that you have not yet realized that YOU are creating that, not the other individual.

For in any scenario in which you engage another individual and you allow yourself to experience that genuine interconnectedness, most individuals automatically, without thought, credit the other individual for pulling that expression, out of you and allowing you to flower and to experience.

What becomes the block and the restriction, in which you do not allow yourself to move into that experience of recognition of one's power to manifest, is that you are offering the credit of all of the action and all of the experience to the other individual. Therefore, if you are not engaging the other individual, you cannot experience that, for you did not create it. He or she created the experience, and therefore you have lost the experience forever. But the other individual did not create the experience! YOU created the experience.

And, what you are doing, in actuality, is offering to yourself a validation to be recognizing your own movement in association with your beliefs and values and learning lessons, and allowing yourself to recognize that you have generated a movement in association with self awareness and empowerment in which you have allowed yourself somewhat to be observing self and recognizing self and one's own challenges which are influencing or effecting your life.

It is not a matter of recognizing your truths and thusly opposing them and generating the direction that you must change them for they are bad, but recognizing that they are your guidelines in how you choose to create your reality. This is about....”Being aware of yourself, of what motivates you, of what you do and how you communicate to yourself, being aware of 'what' you communicate to yourself through different avenues of expression”.

Therefore, your current expressions in this forum letter are all actions that allow you to become much more aware of you and what you are actually doing. That is the key, what you are actually doing. For, generally speaking, most individuals within your reality are not generally aware of what they are actually doing.

As it is not a matter of what you want from your world, or what you want from other individuals. What you genuinely desire is to allow yourself to express you, in order to KNOW SELF. That is what you genuinely want, for that is what you generally deny.

Therefore, it is about “Recognizing NOT opposing”.


I may suggest to you that you utilize a gentleness with yourself and be aware of expectations that you express of yourself, and allow yourself that gentleness and to be acknowledging of yourself rather than continuing to express this opposing energy and judgment of yourself that you are not accomplishing well enough yet.

It is not a matter of striving, my friend. It is a matter of BEING and being aware of what you are doing, and allowing yourself to acknowledge that and appreciate what you are already generating, rather than devaluing or rejecting yourself in what you perceive as lack.

And, remember, change is the nature of consciousness; therefore, you may assure yourself that you are not trapped or stuck, my friend.

In this, I shall energize supportiveness and encouragement to you in helpfulness for you to rediscover your allowance of yourself and your openness to your own expressions, to generate similar experiences of those that you long for.

In the name of the infinite One Universal Creator.............Thine Will Be Done!





(Session completes)









Well, that was an engulfing moment...LOL.



And...I would suggest to you....to re-read and reflect on this and....truly contemplate the greater meaning of this message....and how it pertains to you.



I wish you a fulfilling and enlightening day, my friend.


Remember....at the end of one's life lessons...when one is ready to move into those higher dimensions of Divinity and Light.....there is only one most important question that one needs to ask oneself.....which is......”HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE I HELPED....AND....HOW WELL”.














In Light & Harmony Taoist

Thank you :hug3: That really meant a lot to me probably more than you know, and definitely resonates a lot with where I'm at, it really speaks to me and helped open my eyes some more. Thanks so much for taking the time to do that for me.

[keokutah]

I am nearly certain that you can not help a person who truly is not receptive to help. You can help people help themselves.

My greatest advice is feel the Love in your heart and show them that. People want to feel Loved. It's really quite simple. And when you have awoken to Love then you can share that energy just by really being present with another. Also, meet someone where they are at. What could benefit one person the most could be giving them a sandwich, another person giving them a copy of the Tao Te Ching. Lastly holding space for people. People want to be listened to and allowed to be just as they are. Less giving advice and more just being there and listening. Look up holding space if you like.

Good luck.

Thanks for the advice and recommendation. I looked up this: http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/
The question that came to mind when I was reading it, was how do you not make someone feel inadequate?
Unfortunately, I think most people feel inadequate around me, or inferior or threatened. I guess the answer to that is, being aware of what makes them feel inadequate, and making sure not to bring it up in conversation.... or making sure to be humble and downplaying what the other person sees as "superior" in you.
I know that a few times I've said things that have offended people without meaning to, and that's just the times I'm aware of so maybe it happens more often than that.

Like for example, just the other night I failed at socializing again, it's really hard for me to be intuitive while I'm around people because of social anxiety.
Some guy sat beside me and I overheard him talking about having a back injury and how nothing was helping him get over it, so I asked him about it and sure enough it turns out he had the same disc problem I had not that long ago so I could sympathize, and I managed to cure it with certain yoga poses and heavy weight lifting. But then when I was trying to tell him what worked for me he just shrugged it off and said yoga never worked for him, and so then I said maybe he should try gaining some muscle because it didn't look like he was very strong in that area... and that ended up really insulting him. I was referring to how the spine compresses against the disc and if you gain muscle it actually stabilizes the spine and body allow the disc to not be as compressed. In hindsight I'm guessing he's one of those people who are insecure about being thin and my words might have touched a sensitive spot, especially considering I'm a lot bigger than he is, but I used to be a scrawney guy so I didn't realize.... Harming him was really not my intention, but that's all that happened from that, and I was just trying to help... I fail miserably whenever I try to be kind to someone. I feel really bad about that experience.

In hindsight, I actually was feel something really strong and intuitive right before I made that mistake too, but I ignored it because I was feeling so overwhelmed. I guess I just need to practice social skills.

But, it sort of reminds me of this article I read once http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-accidentally-making-everyone-hate-you/
Especially, where it talks about how all people are constantly aware of their "social status". One person is always inferior in some way, and the superior person always has to be aware of that in order to not accidentally insult the other person. And of course you can be inferior and superior at the same time. Like maybe one person is insecure about being single, but the other person is insecure about being married, there's a whole lot of reasons why people feel inadequete next to other people.
I'm not aware of these things in social interactions, at all. I could be if I was paying attention to my intuition. Because my intuition is so strong that I can actually sense and even hear people's thoughts when I pay attention to it. If I could learn to actually listen to that in social interactions, I wouldn't fail so miserably at being social. As soon as I get anxious in social situations, it all goes over my head and I end up saying the wrong things.

[Greenslade]

Thanks, yeah it's probably more of a life lesson for me. I don't think she learned anything from me rejecting her, in fact I think it made her even more desperate and worsened her behaviors but I know I shouldn't blame myself for that.
Because out of a complete coincidence or synchronicity, I ended up posting another add on craigslist yesterday night looking for some lumbar for woodworking, and she contacted me just this morning using her real name, obviously not knowing it was me. How weird it is that I would hear from her again, it's obviously a sign of some sort.
But let's just say what she wrote was very crude and suggestive and obviously had nothing to do with my add. It's evident to me that her behaviors have worsened since our first encounter, and I really hope that's not my fault. It probably is, I seem to bring the worst out in people but maybe that's a good thing.

I can't help but feel like something about our meeting and the rejection might have really triggered her and made her feel worse, and instead of using that to get healthy, she's doing the opposite. There's nothing I can really do for someone who is so keen on derailing their life. Maybe she'll hit rock bottom or something and end up getting help eventually.

The good thing about me finding this out is that now I don't feel as bad for rejecting her because it's obviously not the first time she's played random guys like that.Sometimes all you can do is the best you can do with what you have, because very often there's things happening beyond the mask of the face value. Perhaps the the face value is that she's got worse and no matter what you did you couldn't have helped her anyway, there seems to be quite a lot going on in her Life that you don't know about - you couldn't have known anyway. Perhaps what she needs is to hit the bottom as you say, then she might decide to turn her Life around - that's what some people need and that's the stuff that's hard to realise.

The lesson for you would have been to look before you leap, think about what you're dealing with before you go charging in like a knight in shining armour. And you've got a little experience under your belt so don't beat yourself up over it. The Universe gives us what we need when we need it, we just need to think about it in a different way.

[FallingLeaves]

But, it sort of reminds me of this article I read once http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-accidentally-making-everyone-hate-you/
Especially, where it talks about how all people are constantly aware of their "social status". One person is always inferior in some way, and the superior person always has to be aware of that in order to not accidentally insult the other person. And of course you can be inferior and superior at the same time. Like maybe one person is insecure about being single, but the other person is insecure about being married, there's a whole lot of reasons why people feel inadequete next to other people.
I'm not aware of these things in social interactions, at all. I could be if I was paying attention to my intuition. Because my intuition is so strong that I can actually sense and even hear people's thoughts when I pay attention to it. If I could learn to actually listen to that in social interactions, I wouldn't fail so miserably at being social. As soon as I get anxious in social situations, it all goes over my head and I end up saying the wrong things.

Jesus said if you want to help, lower yourself, become the servant instead of the master.

Personally I found I am a control freak, and I really gotta just let go and let other people show ME the way instead of me being so sure I know what is best for THEM.

So some people have called me a doormat because I won't assert myself, say what it is I want and set boundaries, but I say, what is the use in getting my own way if I'm only bringing horror to others? But in any case I need to learn not to be a control freak more than I need to learn not to be a doormat...

[guthrio]

I'm asking you all because I'm sure there's a lot of you who have been guided by Spirit to help others.

I was guided to be a hermit and just focus on healing myself for a long time, but now I'm being guided to help people and I am attracting people into my life who need help, but who don't necessarily want help.

Since I was so focused inwards for so long, it's very difficult for me to learn how to help others while also making sure I'm not turning into a people pleaser. That's the last thing I want, I don't want to bend over backwards for people just to have them hurt me and take advantage of me, I want to help people but also respect and love myself.

I've heard the saying that if someone doesn't want help you can't force them to change. But what is the spiritual thing to do when you are being called to help someone but they don't want to be helped?

And when someone is making really bad choices, are you supposed to just watch them make those bad choices? Do you tell them what you think despite how much they don't want to hear it, despite how much that could hurt them? Do you get a bit aggressive with them and try to force them to stop and see things your way?
Do you support their stupid decisions because you love them and because it's what they want to do (that's what my mom does because she prefers to just please people and I never agreed with that)? Or do you cut them out of your life because you don't want to support their unhealthy decisions?

And what if their bad decisions harm you? What if they are toxic people and helping them might put you in danger? Are you supposed to stick around and encourage that unhealthy behavior? Wouldn't it be in their best interest for you to step away from that situation?

Here's a recent example of someone I'm not sure how to help. I put an add on craigslist looking for a workout partner, any gender since I also have to work on flexibility and most guys aren't into that, and a morbidly obese woman contacted me asking if I could help her because she just had a heart attack and her doctor told her she had to start making healthy lifestyle changes. I didn't realize what her limitations would be when I agreed to help her out. I've never known or trained with an obese person before. I kept suggesting forms of physical activity I thought were easy, but she couldn't even do those things.
So we agreed to meet up and go for a very short walk and do some stretches.
But when I got there, she refused to follow through with our plan, and instead went into the casino, she ordered a soda pop and I ordered a water. I followed her to a table, and we sat down and she just started talking non-stop.
I really tried to get a word in here and there and asked a few times if we were going to go for a walk, but she refused and changed the subject and talked over me.
And when I tried to ask about her current lifestyle, she would tell me things like how she knew soda was bad for her, but she was addicted to it.
And then a few times it felt like she was trying to hit on me, despite our huge age difference. She's about the same age as my Mother, and I quickly told her that's not what this is about, it's strictly about fitness.

After that, she wanted to go up to the pool with me but never showed, saying she was sick. I sent her an encouraging email saying I hope she wouldn't give up, because I suspected she wasn't really sick and just making excuses to get out of it. And then she sent me an email saying she really wants to exercise with me because she likes me and thought we clicked on our first meeting and that she likes spending time with me. And that kind of creeps me out because it seems like she might be hitting on me again... or maybe being overly friendly? I still haven't responded to that because I don't know how to...
Either way, I didn't click with this person at all when we first met, I felt quite disrespected because she wouldn't listen to anything I said, wasn't taking me seriously, and kept talking over me, and it seemed like she was just wasting my time. Maybe that's harsh for me to think that way.
I talked to my Mom who understands Obesity, since her mother died of it at a young age and she told me the reluctance is a true problem, it's not like they are meaning to disrespect you, they are genuinely afraid and it is like an addiction. But my mom also said that it wouldn't be fair to me because this woman will just slow me down and I was originally wanting a workout buddy.
She also said there is nothing I can possibly do to help this woman, if this woman is not ready to actually put some effort into it.

And so I'm at a loss, and I'm not sure what to do. And I'm kind of worried that this woman thinks we met up to go on a date or something, and I really don't want to get involved in that. I was pretty clear that I wasn't interested in a relationship, but I keep getting the feelings she's coming onto me and that's overstepping my personal boundaries and making me feel super uncomfortable.

Anyways, I've noticed other guys will walk into a room and it's like they have this aura of importance and everyone takes them seriously. They listen to what they say, they seem professional.
But when it comes to me, for some reason no one ever takes me seriously.
I'm not actually sure why that is.
I've been told I look younger than my age, but I'm not sure that's why. I've been told some people think I'm attractive, so maybe they only focus on my looks, but still I don't think that's why.

How can I help people if they never take me seriously? It's like they get one look at me, or as soon as I open my mouth, they decide I'm not worth listening to anymore.
What am I doing wrong?
I've taken to wearing suits and dressing more professionally, it hasn't changed a thing.
I think I am pretty confident in the areas I am educated about and that I could have a lot to offer. And I feel called to help these people, and for some reason I'm a magnet recently, to people who are making terrible choices but who are very stubborn and not exactly willing to change, but also most of these people are quite toxic and disrespect me a lot, and because of my old hermit ways, I would much rather not have anything to do with these people.
I don't like being treated badly by people... I don't know what to do.

I'm sure some of you have more experience than I do when it comes to helping others so maybe you can give me some advice.

Keokutah

How do you help others?

.... exactly the same as you yourself were helped.... by showing others that the Spirit within them is the Only Power There Is Who Can.

We are all Spiritual Hermits !! :smile:

Reference:. http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1517202#post1517202

[hallow]

I take care of disabled people for a living its a great way for me to feel like I am doing something. But at the same time i know its just a job and at the end of the day i can go home and take care of my needs.

[Really!]

Plant seeds ...

Plant a seed means to say or do something that will develop more in the future ...

Sharing seeds of knowledge, wisdom, food for thought especially in situations when a person stuck in a vicious cycle unable to get out of their own thoughts could use a new direction ...

I have as well as continue to plant seeds from my own life experiences w/my kids (ages, 21, 22, 42). And how they rebel! Thinking I'm telling them how to live their life instead of understanding the seed might help in navigating a future storm. Very sad, but worth doing ...