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Dean1973
08-02-2011, 10:29 AM
Hi all,

Having grown so unbelievably much in the last many years, the last 2 or 3 weeks have brought me to the ground in such a big way - I don't think I've felt so absolutely weakened in a long time.

Yet, beneath this and even with such enormous feelings of hopelessness, I sense that it may be some circle closing, that what I've learned and become sensitive to through this is perhaps the gem I need to move me forward.

It's excruciatingly difficult to stay trusting and have faith that this is all leading me toward something more - I think the only thing I can really give is this 'waiting' feeling, without being able to get up and live peacefully, positively at best.

Any thoughts?

Dean, 37, Cape Town, South Africa

Dean1973
09-02-2011, 05:59 AM
I love Pema Chodron's talks and books - she speaks about exactly the same thing as every other fundamental teaching, from a different perspective: staying present with what is through just "staying", which is essentially trusting. Allowing the underlying energy of what is to simply be there, rather than judging or labeling it.

I love this:

'Learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it, and work with it instead of against it, making it your ally rather than your enemy'

Knowing that every present moment is what I've designed through my past thinking and my past choices - and here it is. Struggling against it will just perpetuate it, resistance only creates more of what we say we don't want, that's how I see it. The Course in Miracles speaks about every single moment as a Holy Instant. So it's coming back to the holy/wholeness/healing available in the present moment.

AngelBreeze
09-02-2011, 11:54 PM
Hi all,

Having grown so unbelievably much in the last many years, the last 2 or 3 weeks have brought me to the ground in such a big way - I don't think I've felt so absolutely weakened in a long time.

Yet, beneath this and even with such enormous feelings of hopelessness, I sense that it may be some circle closing, that what I've learned and become sensitive to through this is perhaps the gem I need to move me forward.

It's excruciatingly difficult to stay trusting and have faith that this is all leading me toward something more - I think the only thing I can really give is this 'waiting' feeling, without being able to get up and live peacefully, positively at best.

Any thoughts?

Dean, 37, Cape Town, South Africa

Very warm greetings, Dean!

It is good to hear from you! You do realize that is not your true heart speaking don't you. It isn't. Your consciousness may want to say that it is but know that it really isn't! You have survived for 37 years, as you show, and with the ups and downs you have made it this far, and for that I Congratulate you! I know it is not often easy to meet the big world around us and be expected to walk lock-step with it each and every single day.

But the inner you has greater faith in you right now, that is what I am feeling! And it is that spark of Faith, even though small, that keeps the flame alive and does not blow it out! Life is going to change for you but you are going through one of those "down" or crucial periods that Biorhythms can chart for one. Some periods last longer than others and during this time it is most important to surround yourself with only Positive things such as reading material, books, music, films, family, friends, etc. you do not need for anyone to act as a "downer" especially when you feel you are sensing some of those effects.

Did you know that to stay trusting and have faith are the two most important elements that can bring change about! And it is when people feel that they have reached the end of their rope, so to speak, that the First Chakra or energy center can kick in to re-stimulate your thinking and thus prod you in the right direction.

You are still a young man. You have much to live for and do not have to have this albatross hanging around your neck at this point in time.

Believe in yourself because You Are WORTH it!

A good affirmation to consider using could be:

"I Am Worthy Of All Things Good In My Life. I Now Attract That Which Is Good For Me and the Best For All Concerned. I Am In A Much Better Space Now. My Trust Is Restored. My Faith Is Restored. I Am Moving Forward With Many Blessings In My Life!"

Affirmations are meant to be said repeatedly daily and placed on a refrigerator door or other room to look at and recite during the day. Your Belief System is in need of such strength and going to God in prayer is a Healing Wonder in itself! Do Lots of it!

Take Care my friend and chin up! Square those shoulders! For I know you can take the bull by the horns as you have in the past many times and move forward knowing you are Unique. You have many abilities that others do not have and your personal energy is very much needed in the world at this time. Don't let it go to waste, instead Invest In Yourself for a Brighter and Happier Future which is most certainly yours to have!

Have a very Blessed day!

Dean1973
10-02-2011, 06:52 AM
Hi AngelBreeze,

Thanks so much for that thoughtful reply.

Am trying hard to stay quiet as much as possible and valuing what is in this for me more so than the situation itself - no matter how painful, no matter how long this run of difficult circumstances I've had, no matter the degree or form, I really know that the goal is inner peace, not making the agony or hopelessness the goal, if that makes sense.

This morning I woke up and sat with my lesson from the Course in Miracles - 'God is the Strength in which I trust', and really tried to feel myself pulling back and handing it over, just staying inside the peace of that awareness.

I try to hold onto that lesson and a few others I really enjoy as well, like:

'I do not know what anything is for' and 'I do not perceive my own best interests', and just let everything be, knowing that it's as it should be.

But it's keeping coming back to that stillness (trust and faith as you say) that I know will bring change. Quietening that noisy, demanding ego side.

I really know these things keep repeating themselves until one moves through them responsibly. I was speaking on the phone to my sister last night for a few hours, also chatting about this 'reaching' feeling of wanting to check out, and really feeling that this doesn't change things, and if it's true that we come back, it'll possibly be a similar set of circumstances presenting themselves, to move through and clear once again. I know that sounds dramatic, but these feelings do come up for many of us I'm sure.

These situations really humble one and get you very serious about letting go, like you say 'kick you back to re-stimulate your thinking'.

Still feeling very tender, but determined to stay still today.

I loved your reply, thank you : )

Dean

Dean1973
10-02-2011, 07:21 AM
Oh I'm so inside my head! I'm 38 now ..turned 38 in Jan, not 37 : )

Toolite
10-02-2011, 02:17 PM
You've had many trials before and passed them and because this time is harder still means you will pass your trials... You are stronger than you know and able to accomplish all things if you will just stand and you don't have to fight.. Just Stand while God fights for you.. Who is Above God? No one..

Lord I just pray that Dean has peace & healing in the mind and body while enduring the trial and can pass the trial as you intended.. Lord.

Are you a capricorn?

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!

AngelBreeze
10-02-2011, 05:19 PM
Hi AngelBreeze,

Thanks so much for that thoughtful reply.

Am trying hard to stay quiet as much as possible and valuing what is in this for me more so than the situation itself - no matter how painful, no matter how long this run of difficult circumstances I've had, no matter the degree or form, I really know that the goal is inner peace, not making the agony or hopelessness the goal, if that makes sense.

This morning I woke up and sat with my lesson from the Course in Miracles - 'God is the Strength in which I trust', and really tried to feel myself pulling back and handing it over, just staying inside the peace of that awareness.

I try to hold onto that lesson and a few others I really enjoy as well, like:

'I do not know what anything is for' and 'I do not perceive my own best interests', and just let everything be, knowing that it's as it should be.

But it's keeping coming back to that stillness (trust and faith as you say) that I know will bring change. Quietening that noisy, demanding ego side.

I really know these things keep repeating themselves until one moves through them responsibly. I was speaking on the phone to my sister last night for a few hours, also chatting about this 'reaching' feeling of wanting to check out, and really feeling that this doesn't change things, and if it's true that we come back, it'll possibly be a similar set of circumstances presenting themselves, to move through and clear once again. I know that sounds dramatic, but these feelings do come up for many of us I'm sure.

These situations really humble one and get you very serious about letting go, like you say 'kick you back to re-stimulate your thinking'.

Still feeling very tender, but determined to stay still today.

I loved your reply, thank you : )

Dean

Loving Light to you, Dean 1973!

Thank you for your reply! It is much appreciated!

There are indeed struggles and challenges that you are encountering but you need to resolve to the fact that it is all being presented for your further spiritual growth. And if there were no challenges or struggles, it would be so easy that no learning would ever take place.

While it may be a difficult road at this time for you, know that it is not forever. Just like the sunset turns into nighttime and nighttime turns into daytime, methodically, so will your circumstances move from unpleasant to the pleasant and will not revert back into unpleasant unless you are of that frame of mind to attract it back into your life once again. Therefore, your mind frame is what is all important when faced with situations such as these and how you go about handling the challenge. You must ride the wave and become victorious over your life as no one else can do that for you but you.

One thing that I have to stop to ponder upon is this statement you made: "I do not know what anything is for' and 'I do not perceive my own best interests', and just let everything be, knowing that it's as it should be."

It may be from something you are trying to learn but I'm not in full agreement that one should be instilling the repetitious thought in their mind that they do not know what anything is for and that you are not perceiving your best interests. I do not agree with these two affirmations since they do not appear to allow you room to free yourself from your present situation, in my humble opinion.

A person must first try to perceive what is in their own best interest otherwise, it is very possible that they may fall prey to that which is not. But when they find that they cannot do it all alone, they should be comforted to know that God is there to help them out.

God gave you a wonderful gift called the human mind and a brain. It was designed for one to figure things out for themselves with but when they hit a rough spot and cannot proceed by themselves, they should know that He is always there to turn to for help at that point.

If that affirmation that you presented is trying to indicate that you should just let something else take over your thinking for you, please know, and it bears repeating, that God gave you a beautiful instrument to fully use in this regard, your mind. With your mind you can design or program your future to be as beautiful and as successful as you want it to be or you can limit your own self-growth to the lower expectation others may have on you, imho, if you allow them to influence you.

Therefore, I would personally use the following two affirmations:

"With God Present In My Life I Can Realize What I Am Facing and Understand It Better!"

and

"I Can Perceive My Own Best Interests With God By My Side To Guide Me Along the Way Towards That Which Is For My Highest and Best Good!"

Now, see the difference here! Again, imho, I feel that my affirmations would allow for moving forward in a way that is unique unto me and be knowledgeable about the personal path that I am taking while knowing that God is also there and I do not have to walk alone.

When you read and say something striking and it becomes repetitious either in your mind as you retain it or verbally repeat it, what you are reading and/or saying becomes very much a part of who you are or will become!

Therefore, be careful what you say! Know that all must be Positive guidance that leads you to become a dynamic person using your good mind as God gave you to think with and figure for yourself to allow you to move forward in a positive and wonderful way with your Creator by your side to watch over and guide you.

That is my personal opinion on things you have presented. And I hope and pray that you will be able to move into a much better and sacred space, Godspeed!

Dean1973
11-02-2011, 06:48 AM
Thanks again AngelBreeze! Some great advice in there.

I think those lessons 'I do not know what anything is for' and 'I do not perceive my own best interests' are really pointing to this 'letting go letting God' idea - that life and circumstances happen for me, not to me, and staying in that awareness is trust. I stay in this "don't know" mind because only God/life/love/Mickey Mouse (whatever a person wants to call it) is the only essence which does know.

So for me it's trusting that there's a greater design, letting go and as you say moving through situations without reacting from old conditioned habits, so I don't repeat the same lessons.

: )

Toolite
11-02-2011, 03:33 PM
I didn't realize you could just click on the name.. I was just wondering why I wanted to start off saying Dean was a capricorn and actually I just looked today and he has the same birthday as me.. month, day, and year.. Our lessons are hard and sometimes painful but, thats only to uncover the pearl..

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!

Dean1973
11-02-2011, 04:19 PM
Hi Toolite,

Yes, Capricorn - 11/01/1973, and your birthdate? (there's no link to the name)

Thanks, I'm not sure it's so much strength I get concerned about, perhaps more faith and hope.

I liked this: '..able to accomplish all things if you will just stand and you don't have to fight..'

Just being. So true. The thing is, if I do just be, I feel I need to "be" in peace, because an awareness of peace is essentially 'handing over'. Anxiety, depression etc is trying to control and taking hold of the reigns. It's either that or really being mindful of the feelings and not being "hooked" by them (as the author Pema Chodron says).

Thanks for the prayer : )

Toolite
11-02-2011, 04:29 PM
Yes my birthday is 1/11/73. So I know the spirituality is there you just have to have the peace and accept it.. That's how I know your trials are great but, you inturn are also great.. What I attempt to do is think positive no matter what I am faced with it and it helps me to continue to grow spiritually everyday and balance out.. I wish you the best.

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!

Dean1973
11-02-2011, 04:45 PM
Wow that's interesting - 11 January 1973. I'm sure there are lots of commonplace things in this, but I don't place too much emphasis on astrology/birth dates : )

Thanks, so true re the staying positive ..even if one fakes a smile as often as possible ..

Toolite
14-02-2011, 02:09 PM
Wow that's interesting - 11 January 1973. I'm sure there are lots of commonplace things in this, but I don't place too much emphasis on astrology/birth dates : )

Thanks, so true re the staying positive ..even if one fakes a smile as often as possible ..


Yes I wish you the best...

All the Glory Belongs To God Forever!

Dean1973
25-02-2011, 06:20 AM
This is so unbelievably exciting! I've had the Course in Miracles beside my bed for 20 years, have worked with it and seen glimpses of change, but I have never worked with it so profoundly as I am now. Rock bottom does that to you. What a gift!

As Byron Katie says 'The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want' - that acceptance and knowing that whatever is happening is happening for you, not to you, completely removes any trace of fear, in that instant.

This is it, I'm doing it and I'm not turning back, it's my one, only and absolute goal, not holding judgments about what's happening, no grievances or complaints, nothing but absolute trust and self acceptance.

Gem
25-02-2011, 06:37 AM
Hi all,

Having grown so unbelievably much in the last many years, the last 2 or 3 weeks have brought me to the ground in such a big way - I don't think I've felt so absolutely weakened in a long time.

Yet, beneath this and even with such enormous feelings of hopelessness, I sense that it may be some circle closing, that what I've learned and become sensitive to through this is perhaps the gem I need to move me forward.

It's excruciatingly difficult to stay trusting and have faith that this is all leading me toward something more - I think the only thing I can really give is this 'waiting' feeling, without being able to get up and live peacefully, positively at best.

Any thoughts?

Dean, 37, Cape Town, South Africa

Did someone say 'Gem'?