Me and Others

[XalosJuryin]

I am not categorizing others or myself. I just want to share what I am feeling, in a broad sense.

Recently I have felt attracted to spirituality. I have started to believe that there is mystery to life. Mystery we all know exists, but which not all of us seek, right? I was always introspective and now I think I am starting to accept more who I am and what my path should look like in general terms.

I am visiting New York. I go back to Brazil in a week. I am here by myself – no parents, and no friends came here with me. I have a friend living here and we saw each other today but eventually we had to go our own ways. My case was going back to the hotel and being once again alone.

I went out to eat a while ago and decided not to drink beer, as I have been doing that too much in this trip. For example, yesterday I bought a pack of beer and drank them by myself. I almost decided to sleep in the hotel's bathtub, listening to binaural beats, by I heard my body and went to sleep in bed, as it was asking me for that.

So tonight, I am looking for restaurants to go, but I am feeling down because there is no one by my side. I know that I am a pretty loved person, however at this moment no one is WITH me. I text and email my friends, but they don't answer back. I used to do the same in whatsapp and facebook, until I decided to stop using these medias because they were frustrating me.

I guess I am going to create a new thread on "Friends and Loneliness", but my point with this text is a little more specific: I am talking about the choice of following an introspective life and the choice to live predictable life.

Mainstream vs Deep Spiritual Pursuit

So I see all of these young and good looking people on the streets, all laughing and hanging out together, while I roam alone. I become demotivated and next I see myself eating a Quarter Pounder meal at McDonalds. Not long ago I had stopped eating junk food and soda, but now I am back to it.

I fear that people - including my parents - won't understand my spiritual path. My dad has told me before that I should be more extroverted, and I even agreed with him. But now quietude and introspection calls me again; and with even more force this time.

You must understand where I am trying to go here. I would glad to listen to your stories and your comments... thank you!! :icon_sad:

[RyanWind]

I can relate. I have had a lot of introspection and solitude at different periods in my life. Been aware of the mystery too.

[Lorelyen]

An interesting story and one that suggests you've already taken a first step and are wondering what the second should be

I am not categorizing others or myself. I just want to share what I am feeling, in a broad sense.

Recently I have felt attracted to spirituality. I have started to believe that there is mystery to life. Mystery we all know exists, but which not all of us seek, right? I was always introspective and now I think I am starting to accept more who I am and what my path should look like in general terms.

I am visiting New York. I go back to Brazil in a week. I am here by myself – no parents, and no friends came here with me. I have a friend living here and we saw each other today but eventually we had to go our own ways. My case was going back to the hotel and being once again alone.

I went out to eat a while ago and decided not to drink beer, as I have been doing that too much in this trip. For example, yesterday I bought a pack of beer and drank them by myself. I almost decided to sleep in the hotel's bathtub, listening to binaural beats, by I heard my body and went to sleep in bed, as it was asking me for that.
There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. I sometimes crave solitude because I can introspect and contemplate undistracted. It isn't safe for a girl to walk around my town alone in the dead of night but I do in a village in which I have a friend - and the night, the thick silence on these warm evenings, the humidity that cloys a little, free my thoughts but rarely focus them. It isn't that I can't focus my thoughts, I just don't want to cramp them as I'm often forced to do in a routine day. And yet, against this silence creative inspiration sometimes strikes.

In your situation (where you are now) your mind is free to roam. There'll come days as your spirituality develops that you wish you could have such solitude. If you don't want to introspect you can observe what's around you. Look at people (mostly "unawakened") playing their robot roles in a system that has been created for them by big business, religion, etc. Are they happy? Do they feel happy?

Some inevitably are because they're good at doing what they're told and reap the rewards for it. Others are unhappy because needles of individuality are pricking them from the inside - they don't like what they're forced to do to survive. They want some inner self to have a say but don't know how to unleash it. The ones who are laughing and enjoying - are they really happy or are they just taking advantage of a distraction, an escape set out for them by the "high priesthood" that runs the system...to give them the illusion that they're free?

So you can see yourself against this backdrop. You are an observer, a social beach-comber at this moment. Feel the freedom. See people as they are and truly value them, happy or unhappy.

So tonight, I am looking for restaurants to go, but I am feeling down because there is no one by my side. I know that I am a pretty loved person, however at this moment no one is WITH me. I text and email my friends, but they don't answer back. I used to do the same in whatsapp and facebook, until I decided to stop using these medias because they were frustrating me.
Perhaps i can at last go along with what many people here say, and often. Perhaps "the cosmos" is offering you a lesson. Perhaps it is saying "you are taking your first steps and must accept that it is a lone path. Now you must set yourself aside from others." But it is just a phase. You will eventually be back with others, a friend or two, but you will have experienced being alone; hopefully converting what you feel "loneliness" into what you are, an "individual spirit". You could also be having a lesson like my next comment...

I guess I am going to create a new thread on "Friends and Loneliness", but my point with this text is a little more specific: I am talking about the choice of following an introspective life and the choice to live predictable life.

Mainstream vs Deep Spiritual Pursuit
Whatever you do spiritually you'll have to keep contact with the mainstream to be able to survive (unless you're going to become a hermit or win a big lottery prize.) You have to learn to manipulate it so you can pursue your spiritual path. It probably means having a job, paying rent or "fitting in" with your parents or people around you. But it also means you know what you're doing to fit in. You can insulate it from your spiritual self. You aren't just a puppet to other people's expectations.

I fear that people - including my parents - won't understand my spiritual path. My dad has told me before that I should be more extroverted, and I even agreed with him. But now quietude and introspection calls me again; and with even more force this time.

You must understand where I am trying to go here. I would glad to listen to your stories and your comments... thank you!! :icon_sad:

First lesson is that your spiritual path isn't run by other people. That's closer to religion.

It's best just to aim to be - not worry about introvert vs. extrovert. These will emerge as you grow. You'll find them appearing at different times. As you get closer to your real self your views and ways of relating with others will change.

= = =

My own story is pretty boring. I went through patches of (in your terms) introversion and extroversion; made discoveries that are impossible to describe in words (but which could be recognised by others) and while I can get along in society as someone marginally normal !! I think of myself as spiritual - still searching for a deeper self, refining, running my life according to principles aimed at building a good psychic atmosphere in the world. It's good. I'm content. Not materialist (unless it's to fit in with some kind of work), peaceful....but also a realist. One doesn't solve problems without first finding out what they really are.

:smile:
pax tecum.


....

[Greenslade]

Mainstream vs Deep Spiritual PursuitExactly!!!!

Welcome to the creation of separation and duality. What you're talking about is essentially two 'opposing forces' and while you're creating them you're also trying to reconcile them so no wonder there's turmoil. Your Universe is a reflection of you. Your reality is defined by your perceptions, your perceptions are defined by your beliefs and your beliefs are defined by your definitions. If you define Spiritual then by that definition you also define non-Spiritual and that becomes the real root of what you're experiencing here.

If you are going to be introspective then all you have to do is look at the words you are using. Our words are the echoes of our consciousness and I know you didn't mean them any disrespect but it's something to think about.

The answer to this is very simple. We do not exist in a duality - this vs that, mainstream vs Spiritual pursuit - we exist in a trinity where there is this, there is that and there is both. When you put 'mainstream' into a relationship with 'Spiritual pursuit' the trinity becomes very apparent and the conflict you're living with doesn't just disappear it makes sense. We are all Spirit on a human Journey or whatever other term you want to use, it's just that some of us want to experience the 'mainstream, predictable' Life and others want to see themselves as Spiritual. Just because 'mainstream' or 'predictable' doesn't conform to a belief system or our definitions it doesn't mean that it isn't Spiritual.

Spirituality will also tell you that We Are One and connected, that we all have a Soul inside us no matter which Path we choose to tread and no matter what definitions we have.

[Jyotir]

Hello XalosJuryin,

The answer to your dilemma is deceptively simple.
But it takes consistent commitment and patience.

The cure for loneliness, etc., is a dedicated inner life. A nascent attitude of seeking Truth/God needs to be nurtured, to become more prominent, more practical - that’s all. That means recognizing, acknowledging and invoking that Someone Who is always with you, in you, of you, and for you - because in your Highest, you are That Someone...one and inseparable. Not only that - it also means that that One is All, and every,, and you are also inseparable from that multiplicity in and through the Highest, as well.

Spiritual life means the conscious deliberate consecration of thought, intention and action for the Divine.

Once that is recognized as a possibility, and once one’s intention is set in that direction, the next step is the practical application of those intentions in action.

That means, if one has recognized and acknowledged spiritually progressive principles and intentions, to then not actualize, or to oppose and counteract them actually becomes regressive, and therefore frustrating.

Many seekers go through this. They identify the ‘next step’ - but keep doing the same old unsatisfying activities compulsively, as if that is going to change things and create a new life.

However, once the whole life (not just the mere conceptual formations of mind or intellect) functionally commences to sufficiently and consistently offer itself to the Divine - in practice - the response is definitive and often immediate. This isn’t to say it’s easy with no difficulty, but, as with any endeavor, one must simply commence and continue …

The acceptance of life in its intrinsic diversity, including one’s own and others' ignorance, is the basis for transformative experience - a necessary step, a precursor, but not complete in and of itself. Be wary of advice which confuses that acceptance as the entirety of process or practice and as a result becomes an obstinate yet ’easy going’ complacently that refuses to further discriminate what is spiritual from non-spiritual, divine from undivine, regressive from progressive, etc., - and lumps it all together as ‘everything is spiritual’ - which by definition in the new (awakened) context, and by virtue of that very awakening - is not fully true or efficacious, although a commonly held misleading confusion in New Age culture.

Spirituality - again, once awakened, recognized, and acknowledged - involves the conscious invocation and practical application of higher principle for the transformation of the lower, inertial, false, illusive, unreal, ignorant life, on an ongoing basis...not the complacent acceptance of ignorance as equivalent to gnosis and thus riding the frustrating roller-coaster sine waves of these antipodean oscillations as an unconscious instrument of ignorant forces of nature, with some 'random' glimmers of truth (ah, the peaks and troughs of life!)....i.e., ascent of consciousness is dependent on descent? That's pure nonsense, because ignorance is already the de facto condition of physical existence, and why pain, suffering and confusion. (And no wonder people get confused and stuck - they mistake conditional phenomena for principle).

Once that invocation becomes consistent to some degree, even through a sincere (no matter how feeble) attempt - the Divine begins to connect, direct, and fulfill its own purpose in and through one’s life, which is the real fulfillment.

If one goes to a location of fulfillment in all forms and symbols (like New York) and appreciates that, but also prays to, invokes, and utilizes the Divine, for the sake of the Divine - that superior fulfillment will commence in earnest. But the applied life-force has to be consistent with the intention. (not suggesting that spirituality is necessarily location dependent, but there are places where certain qualities are predominant, and that is what is attractive to like-minded people)

So-called ‘Mainstream spirituality’ is a code term for the complacent maintenance, self-perpetuation of habitual conventional material, sensual, and intellectual indulgence inertially co-existing with a mere intellectual recognition of spiritual possibility. And that is as far as awakening goes for many...indefinitely - precisely because of this inertial complacency, and why frustration persists for those who recognize possibility but don't actualize as necessity. Or no frustration, but a comfortable stasis for those who's recognition of possibility alone is defined as spirituality - not the necessity to engage it, as that would somehow be creating 'duality' and making oneself superior as with religion. Spirituality is not religion, and to superimpose the constraints of the latter onto the former as a caution and hesitation is a mistake.

However, there is nothing antithetical in being spiritually aspiring in practice, and co-existing with those who are unawakened. “all of these young and good looking people on the streets, all laughing and hanging out together”, etc. may be spiritual dead, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue to be. You've been blessed with the unfathomable good fortune of having been awakened. Utilize it. Realize it. Seek out and connect with genuinely aspiring people. Read what inspires. Meditate. Consecrate!

I fear that people - including my parents - won't understand my spiritual path This fear can be erased by realizing that spiritual life is lived for the Divine, not people with whom you have conventional relationships, that are based in ignorance or material, genetic/biological, socio-economic, or even common interests (excepting spirituality of course). Live for the Highest and the Highest will sort everything out for you - including all human and other relationships. Allow that assurance and protection to displace the fear which is based in false separation and its vague unknowns.

~ J

[7luminaries]

Agreed, full stop.

A really brilliant post, Jyotir -- very clear and affirming and I hope it brings the OP some comfort and affirmation as well.

Jyotir, I think you mention the very real roadblock many encounter on their path. I.e., grounding and expressing their spiritual awareness in their day-to-day lives.

It's also very obvious in a few core areas of our lives that this will most certainly require some non-mainstream, seemingly "counterculture" behaviours and practices in order to live and be who you are at centre, to live and be ever more aligned with Spirit.

So as with anything else...we always have choices. We can be mainstream in the way we engage with others and self and Spirit and life...or we can follow our heart, our centre...and live from a place of authentic love toward all others and all things.

And as always, in every moment, we embody all that we are and ever have been or will be. That is the very reality that confirms our eternal freedom to choose.

Peace & blessings :hug3:
7L

[Dwerg]

I see depth in the mainstream. I can have a lot of fun alone, but never as much as I have with others.

I refuse to choose between introversion or extroversion. There is the dimension of time, it solves these conflicts because I can't do everything at all time but I can do it at different times. I can spend this day with deep introspection and tomorrow go out into the world and experience. Some days you can do activities, other days you can dig deeper.

I probably have thousands of thoughts crossing my mind during a day, but that does not prevent me from engaging in things. Your choices are a false dilemma, it's not mutually exclusive given the dimension of time. You can't do both simultaneously though, but we're not limited to one single frame in time.

You can be spiritual and still enjoy the mainstream stuff that isn't specifically spiritual. Doing just spirituality and forgetting the rest is a spiritual mistake, it's not what spirituality is about. It's about experiencing the depth and width of life, which you will not if you narrow yourself down so much.

I keep my spirituality personal unless questioned. It's there, but it does not take over my mind at all times as that works against it's purpose. I care about a lot of other things as well. Why is it a requirement that other people understand and validate your spiritual side? It's not nescessary, if it works for you then just simply keep to your path. People walk different paths and their path may be the right one for them, but not for you. You might not understand their spiritual side and they might not understand yours, but a basic mutual respect for that fact is very important. It helps others as it helps you, even though it's different. So you see, it's very personal and subjective, it would be a crime to force others to understand and walk your own path. Only invite someone to it if they ask and want to, otherwise keep the spiritual inside you.

There's plenty of other ways to connect and have good things with other people, even though your paths are a bit different.

Please also understand that your father probably told you to be more extroverted because he loves you and is concerned for your well being. He wants you to enjoy company and he probably knows it's hard if you don't open up and talk. He just doesn't want you to be isolated and sad.

[TarunP]

I fear that people - including my parents - won't understand my spiritual path. My dad has told me before that I should be more extroverted, and I even agreed with him. But now quietude and introspection calls me again; and with even more force this time.



It is sufficient that the one on the path understands it well, others need not understand it. Rarely they do, especially if they are not on a path of their own. You will find that the majority are not on any path (those you call mainstream). If you spend your time explaining yourself to others, it will be perhaps a waste of time, they would get very little (and perhaps will call you crazy). These people are deep in ignorance, and an ordinary seeker cannot do much but to adjust and be forgiving and compassionate towards all.

For a seeker it should be a child's play to be of any "type", e.g. an extrovert. Spiritual path is essentially about freedom, and a seeker should be free to be anything he wants to be. Sometimes the situation demands a specific kind of personality and behavior, and a seeker should have no difficultly acting in that way. Freedom means you are free from habitual tendencies and rigidity of mind. Turning from introvert to and extrovert within minutes is a possibility because you can recognize the conditioning of mind and overcome it. So if your family demands a certain kind of behavior, you can test your abilities here. However, the path will pull you back soon and you will be at your most natural again, which should not be a problem if you have performed your duties well and can get rid of the situation now.

Sometimes the old habits and tendencies also pull as back, and there is a feeling of being left behind, loneliness and a suspicion that everyone else is enjoying while I'm suffering. This is just ego trying to revert you back into old patterns. It is sufficient to be just aware of this, when this happens, it soon disappears. Sometimes we do act on it, and have a bottle of beer or socialize a bit or buy a new car etc, and I guess there is nothing wrong in it as long as it causes no harm, but you will find that it all loses its charm very fast, and we are back on the path soon. If the path is of your heart then everything else is transitory, you always want to be on your path.