How can I be happy...

[Lilstar07]

How can one be happy when all are not?

My 'poetic' (lol) way of saying; I have a problem. That everytime I laugh or smile I feel guilty because my friend/a family memeber/somewhere someone in there world, is not happy too. Then I end up sad again.

I cant be happy , I find it hard. I try my best to cheer everyone up but when I cant solve their problems I just get depressed. That goes for ANYONE, even strangers. When I cant help I feel like a failure. Sometimes I even think what their going through is possibly MY fault. Like maybe I'm not a good friend/daughter/sister/girlfried/memeber of society/human bein. It sounds far fetched but thats how I feel sometimes.Like i'm selfish.I'll start to feel good,Then I look at all this dispair around me and think....."how can I be happy?"

[CuriousSnowflake]

The real question is not "how can I be happy?", but "why do I need others to be happy before I can be?" For lack of a better way of putting it, why do you need the world's permission to be happy?

CS

[Lilstar07]

Thats a very good question.
I dont need permission but even if I was given permission, i till wouldnt feel right.I suppose its more like, I love being happy but being happy when those around me are unable to share it for whatever reason, makes me sad again.

The more I type this the more i see that its not good to be like this.

[Graelwyn]

Smile and the world smiles with you.
Think of it this way, when you are happy, that energy acts as a ripple and impacts those around you also. The more positive energy, the better.

[Lilstar07]

I just have those low moments where I wonder why so many bad things happen to good people and the innocent *sigh*
but Yeah, your right I guess. smile and the whole world smiles with you.

I'm gonna try it now.

:smile:

hope it works!

[Graelwyn]

I just have those low moments where I wonder why so many bad things happen to good people and the innocent *sigh*
but Yeah, your right I guess. smile and the whole world smiles with you.

I'm gonna try it now.

:smile:

hope it works!

I get those times too, when I read the news, and feel this heavy feeling and yes, wonder how people can do such things to one another, and the like, but I think the only way to counteract all those negative events, is to keep adding positive energy into the universe and to do our little bit to help balance it out.

It sure isn't easy somedays though.

[LaMont Cranston]

Lilstar07, Being happy is a decision we make about how we feel about our lives, and we are in control of that decision. I realize that many people do not agree with that viewpoint, but this is something that you can prove for yourself.

Oprah recently did a show about happiness, and her special guest was Goldie Hawn. (You can probably see the show on one of those cable things where you can access just about anything.) There has been a great deal of research on what makes people happy, and here are a few things I remember from the show:

1-If you do good works, you will be a happier person. In my case, I've been involved with all volunteer charities for over 25 years, and I have most definitely found this to be true. I don't know where you live, but there are probably plenty of opportunities available to put some love into the world. You will find that it will enhance your life and elevate your spirits.
2-According to the Oprah show, money can only make you happier up to a point. It seems that once people make about $75,000 a year, having more money come their way does not make them happier.
3-If you join a club or group, any kind of club or group, that meets once a month, it will make you as happy as doubling your salary.
4-If you are in a position to give people material things as gifts or experiences, it will increase the happiness of all concerned if you give them experiences. The happiness of getting new possessions wears off pretty soon, but people will remember the experience you provided for them for a long time.
5-Expressing gratitude for who you are and what you have will instantly have you be happier. If you find things good the way they are, there's an excellent chance they will get even better.

OK, best wishes to you! If you would like to talk more about any of this, I'm more than willing!

"'scuse me while I kiss the sky..." Jimi Hendrix

PS: I'm old enough to have actually seen Jimi play at an event near San Jose around 1969.

[Emmalevine]

Being grateful for what you have in your life can lead to contentment. No one is happy all the time, that's why we have sadness and grief. Feelings change as external situations change. But you can find true inner joy and peace no matter how you feel on the surface.

Try keeping a gratitude diary every day and write all the things you have that you are grateful for, however basic.

Remember true joy doesn't come from outside in a certain situation or person. It comes from expressing who you are. Maybe do something creative like writing or art or music and see if that helps? Or charity work to help others and make a difference?

Good humour always cheers me up temporarily!

[God-Like]

How can one be happy when all are not?
Hi Lilstar07

It's very difficult Indeed. I am still holding on to the t-shirt ever so slightly. What you are describing Is something I endured / experienced for 10 years. I feel In hindsight It was meant to be this way (for me) My heart was opening I was In transformation.

The effects are lesser for me now as I have reached another place so to speak within myself.

All I wanted to do was remain in solitude and close my eyes to the world.

It didn't matter how many people told me "not to take the sufferings" of others In to my own energy (lol) The process had to burn It's self out.

Just keep working on yourself Is all I can advise. :smile:

x daz x

[Serenity Bear]

You need to understand a few things about being happy and emotions.

1. You can not be responsible for other peoples emotions and feelings only your own. If you start feeling responsible for how others feel you going down the road of emotional blackmail from them, and it can mean they put everything on you, believe me you dont want that.

2. To be happy, you just need to make a decision to be so. Wake up every day and say Im going to be happy today.

3. Realise you cant please everyone all the time, so you need to put yourself first, if you dont you just make yourself ill trying to make everyone happy and some just dont want to be.

4. Everyone feels the way they do by their own personal choice, if they want to be miserable for a day, thats what they need to do for that day. Im not saying allowing people to stay depressed without medical attention, its about letting people let go of their own emotional issues and letting off steam.

5. You cant be responsible for world happiness, all you can do is be the best and happiest person you can be, and try to inspire others to do the same.

[StoneAgeQueen]

It's hard to be happy when we hear about all the awful things happening in the world. I'm a cancer with scorpio moon and my emotions get the better of me a lot. The advice on this thread is very helpful. I totally agree with joining a group, I've been a lot happier since I joined my spiritualist church development class. Sometimes the only thing that prevents us from happiness is our own minds, that sounds like a lot to overcome, but remember, YOU are in control. :)

Fiona

[CuriousSnowflake]

Thats a very good question.
I dont need permission but even if I was given permission, i till wouldnt feel right.I suppose its more like, I love being happy but being happy when those around me are unable to share it for whatever reason, makes me sad again.

The more I type this the more i see that its not good to be like this.

Well, seeing that is a good place to start! :smile: Seriously, though, you are obviously a compassionate, empathic person, perhaps a little too empathic for your own good, and I mean "empathic" literally. You sound like a natural empath, a person who picks up on the emotions of others and feels them as their own. Pardon the pun, but I "feel your pain" because I was the same way when I was young. I'd literally feel the emotions if I was around two people fighting, and any emotions directed at me would hit me like a physical force. When I was a teenager, I overcompensated and suppressed not only my ability to do this, but my own emotions as well. Took more than a few years for me to break out of my conditioning. So hey, at least you're better off than I was!

In any case, I'd say you may want to work on learning to shield yourself from the emotional static of others and differentiating your emotions from those you pick up from the rest of the world. One of the first steps in doing so is giving yourself permission to feel what you want to feel. If you want to be happy, be happy. If you want to be sad, be sad. Yes, there is suffering in the world, but there is also joy, and in fact suffering and joy define each other and only make sense if the other exists. Happiness only makes sense if you have sadness to contrast against it, love only defines itself in comparison to fear. So don't concentrate on the negative in the world so much and try to see the positive, and draw from that.

CS

[spirit72]

Have you ever thought how your happiness would spread to other given that you were consistent...? Look at it this way in this world of hard times right now a ray of sunshine and hope draws people together, stop feeling your responsible for other misery or you will get sucked in to that place to... Humans are comfortable being miserable it's what they know, smile be happy and lead they way to happiness... Put it this way you will be creating sunshine in the dark and showing others there is always something to be grateful for... Go for it lead the way if someone is feeling low it is not your responsibility to pull them out of it...but you may just make the road smoother for them to smile and be happy to...

[Jyotir]

How can one be happy when all are not?

My 'poetic' (lol) way of saying; I have a problem. That everytime I laugh or smile I feel guilty because my friend/a family memeber/somewhere someone in there world, is not happy too. Then I end up sad again.

I cant be happy , I find it hard. I try my best to cheer everyone up but when I cant solve their problems I just get depressed. That goes for ANYONE, even strangers. When I cant help I feel like a failure. Sometimes I even think what their going through is possibly MY fault. Like maybe I'm not a good friend/daughter/sister/girlfried/memeber of society/human bein. It sounds far fetched but thats how I feel sometimes.Like i'm selfish.I'll start to feel good,Then I look at all this dispair around me and think....."how can I be happy?"
Hi Lilstar07,


I believe that identification and empathy with the suffering of others is an advanced trait. It is Oneness. However, reciprocally your happiness is also experienced in and through others (even if unconsciously) using the same principle of oneness. This happiness is nothing other than an elevation of consciousness and can have a profoundly transformative effect, even in someone on the other side of the world who you never met or know of. So it is a form of service to the world to be happy. The rest of it, the sadness over others' suffering - if you cannot otherwise do anything about it, you just have to cultivate detachment by giving the problem over to God. It is a big enough job to transform your own life. God is working on that. God is also responsible for doing the same for others, and you may not be the direct instrument of their transformation. This is a passage seekers have to go through it seems.

~ J

[Lilstar07]

Thank you everybody. Everyone of your replies means a lot and I'm taking on all what youve said.

It really is too much for one person to take on all the misery around them. What makes it worse is when I was unhappy from my own personal problems n, nobody actually cared like I do now :rolleyes: . Still doent stop me wanting to be all I can to help them through because I know what its like when you've got problems and people turn away from you saying "your bringing me down, I cant be around you". However the mesage I'm getting here is that I dont have to turn my back on people and the bad things that happen in the world because its bringing me down but I can help to lift people up to where I am. First I have to get to that high place myself to lead the way.

You guys dont even know me and you've showed that their ARE caring people in this world, this is something to be happy about.

I dont know who it was but I remember someone on another post saying something about being a lighthouse to shine the way. I like that.
I'll start from now.