spiritual crisis

[Indi7]

Greetings,

Two years ago I had a kundalini experience. I felt energy or chi pulsate through each of my chakras, from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, then back, after that I felt like a newborn for three days. I felt like I was reborn spiritually and God gave me a new name - Indi. At the same time I began hearing a voice that told me it was God, and it also guided all my actions (when the presence was strong).

So for two years I thought I was hearing God. Sometimes it told me things about the future, and sometimes they came true. But lately, the voice of God started telling me lies that did not come true. I asked it "why are you telling me lies?" and it said "Apparently I am not GOd, I am just a voice inside, and I have been lying to you for two years".. I was devastated..

I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know if God exists. I am having a spiritual crisis. if He exists, I really need proof of Him.. I want to know if He exists.

I want to understand what is this voice that tells me it is God, how come it feels different, and the words come from a deep meditation? and what is this force or energy (of this voice) that when strong guides all my movements and thoughts?

It's quite hard now, I am devastated, desperate to understand... I don't know if I can live without God.. I want to understand what is all this? Is all a big lie? A trick of my own mind? How do I KNOW if God is real?

[Lorelyen]

You exist.....ergo God exists.

You're caught in a paradox with the message. If your God claims to have been lying to you for two years that must also be a lie. So.... hmmm.....?

Answering is difficult because everyone has a different idea of what God is, how relevant it is, whether it's a she he it or them...and of course "God" is only a word. You could call Elohim if you wanted or Little Miss Dazzle or (insert any combination of letters and numbers you like) but it comes down to two basic beliefs:
- it's out there somewhere in the sky - external.
- it's inside you to guide you through your life here on earth.

The gnostic belief is both. As above, so below. We are a microcosm of the vastness of creation.

But yes, there is a True Creator somewhere. No matter how you look at the world around or your world within, some agency must have created it. It's there (so our human senses tell us). It's also beyond human comprehension. Gnostics also believe that the act of and development of Creation was perverted somewhere along the line leading to the emergence of malign beings, one of which tried to grab that creative power.... and made a thorough mess of everything. I won't go on in case this distresses you... better to be like the Tarot hermit and reveal what the light can reveal little by little.

You are a projection of that "True Creation" so your only doubt is whether that appears to be true. What may be happening to you now is that you're being made to face illusion. Within your deepest mysteries lies the driving force of your life on earth, call it soul or whatever you like. It works through numerous layers to get to your earthly front. It can't deal in words but rather symbols and meanings that manifest in the chart of your highest principles. There is no right and wrong in what those principles may be but they usually emerge in alignment with a spiritual morality: you do no hurt nor harm; you don't deprive others of anything; you don't cause them emotional pain.............whatever yours are (No use in telling you mine).

Point is, is there conflict in your highest principles? What's different between what they are and what you think they should be? Do your circumstances make them difficult to follow and would you sooner take an easier route through your days? Are you doing your best to work to what they tell you you must be and do (because you'd be surprised at the number of people even here who claim they are but, huh, honestly aren't)?

You have a lot of searching questions to ask yourself. What lies do you think this entity told you? Do they conflict with your enlightenment? At what point did you feel you were being deceived? Think back to what caused your suspicions....

But yes, under whatever name God exists. You are here. What more living proof do you want of that? What you have to do is stop looking on She, He, It or Them as remote and external looking down on you and sending PMs over the aether.

It's a start anyway. Hopefully others can suggest better than me!

....

[Shivani Devi]

Greetings,

Two years ago I had a kundalini experience. I felt energy or chi pulsate through each of my chakras, from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, then back, after that I felt like a newborn for three days. I felt like I was reborn spiritually and God gave me a new name - Indi. At the same time I began hearing a voice that told me it was God, and it also guided all my actions (when the presence was strong).

So for two years I thought I was hearing God. Sometimes it told me things about the future, and sometimes they came true. But lately, the voice of God started telling me lies that did not come true. I asked it "why are you telling me lies?" and it said "Apparently I am not GOd, I am just a voice inside, and I have been lying to you for two years".. I was devastated..

I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know if God exists. I am having a spiritual crisis. if He exists, I really need proof of Him.. I want to know if He exists.

I want to understand what is this voice that tells me it is God, how come it feels different, and the words come from a deep meditation? and what is this force or energy (of this voice) that when strong guides all my movements and thoughts?

It's quite hard now, I am devastated, desperate to understand... I don't know if I can live without God.. I want to understand what is all this? Is all a big lie? A trick of my own mind? How do I KNOW if God is real?Hi, Indi. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

This voice you hear, it could belong to a few things. It may be your Higher Self, who is telling you that although it can help you, it isn't God. It could be a trickster spirit or jinn, it could be your own mind or subconscious mind wanting to believe in God...OR it could actually be God lying to you. :wink:

You say you don't know if you can live without God, but you need to know if God is real...what makes you think or feel in the first place you cannot live without God? that is the feeling you need to work with here.

If you are devastated this thing has happened...this proves one thing to me...you still have feelings for God and want God to be real for you.

Think of this...if God appeared before you saying He wasn't God, what would you believe, God or your own mind?

Remember the kundalini experience you had before...when it is quiet, sit in meditation and don't try and raise kundalini, just remember the last time it happened...what it actually felt like...what you were going through...what you were experiencing...allow yourself to explore those memories and go fully into it, because if you have ever raised kundalini successfully, it's all still there! it's just a breath away.

I was lucky, because I was aware my voices were lying to me from the very outset, but I still talked to them...and I realised they weren't lying...they were just being ambiguous and I was taking whatever they said the wrong way and taking it totally out of context. In the end, I treated everything as God, after having a similar experience.

God is beyond all of it...it's the reason why I'm not doing anymore EVP sessions or doing my spiritualist medium stuff anymore...I don't really need to. You can take my word for it that God exists, but I think you already know this and feel it...it's what you felt before you found out you were being 'lied to'...this shouldn't make any difference if your heart is open...if your resolve is strong.

Please don't feel discouraged. Ignore those voices and eventually...eventually they go away if you pay them no mind...go back to meditating and just being in that place you were for 3 days...and when that starts to wear off, go back to it...keep going back to it.

All the best and I hope this resolves for you soon.

[wolfgaze]

or Little Miss Dazzle

I like this haha....

"Oh my Little Miss Dazzle!"

:icon_mrgreen:

[tabane27]

God doesn't speak in words only light codes as god is light and dark. He not a he nor a she.
Once delved into the void and merged with god source following kundalini, you are faced with the void which can draw in unwelcome spirits.... BUT its not by accident its still a process of tuning and be aware of oneself and energy.
Once kundalini has risen and passed through the void(the inbetween) before merging, you may be enlightened but tests still follow building up to the next stage of the kundalini cycle.
Don't just listen to what's is said from the voice, learn to feel the energy and vibration that comes with it.