Taking a Step Backward and Being Grateful

[lancing]

I just want to take some time to express how grateful I have for this site. I realized yesterday that in our journeys...whatever they may be, we are constantly takes steps forward and steps backward. I feel like yesterday was a step backward for me. A step that I needed, because it showed me how long my journey truly is, and that I need not rush, as I may lose sight of where I'm going.

I am so grateful for yesterday. Yesterday taught me to have patience with myself and others, and so much more. I needed the lessons that I learned there. I needed the clarity that the end of the day always brings to me - when my mind is more still then it is at any other time. I needed to recognize that I am still an infant, and that I am still learning and growing. Yesterday also made me realize that I am now making a conscious decision to take this journey. I have finally admitted it to myself. Something that I've been avoiding the past few months, because I thought that if I admitted it then I would have to take action...to truly move.

But, I am moving now...very unsure of myself, but as gracefully as possible. I'm not just seeing weird signs and feeling things and hoping they'll go away or that something will just happen...I'm now choosing to follow a path. During my meditation, I got a message that my purpose is love, and I laughed and laughed. As a matter of fact, I laughed myself out of my meditation. I laughed because it seemed so abundantly (no pun intended) clear, and it seemed silly that I had missed that simple thing my whole life! Hahaha! It's still making me laugh.

I only discovered SF last week, but I believe that without this site I wouldn't have recognized these things, so like I said...I am so grateful! I thought that the purpose for me coming here was to help me grow past my attachment to someone else, but I see now that it is not. I made this discovery because I need it to help me move past the attachment to myself, and to discover many things. When I was thanking the universe for all of the love and truth I found yesterday, giving thanks for this site was at the top of my list. Here, on this forum, I find myself stuck between wanting to be a humble observer and an active participant. To lend my words where I feel they will be helpful or respected or to reply when something just moves me or when I'm compelled to. Or, to just bask in the wisdom and the knowledge of others.

I am grateful! Thank you all!

Many, Many Blessings! :hug2:

[Baile]

But, I am moving now...very unsure of myself, but as gracefully as possible. I'm not just seeing weird signs and feeling things and hoping they'll go away or that something will just happen...I'm now choosing to follow a path. During my meditation, I got a message that my purpose is love, and I laughed and laughed. As a matter of fact, I laughed myself out of my meditation. I laughed because it seemed so abundantly (no pun intended) clear, and it seemed silly that I had missed that simple thing my whole life! Hahaha! It's still making me laugh.I could have written this. I was in my early 30's, several years into an joyless and dysfunctional relationship. I found myself in a situation where I was once more being verbally abused and beaten down, when from out of nowhere it hit hit me how ridiculously hilarious all of it was. In the middle of being shouted at, I burst out laughing. I looked at the person shouting at me, and felt a mixture of pity and regret, and even a bit of genuine love. I grabbed my wallet and car keys, said "Goodbye," and walked out and never went back again.

The great cosmic comedy of life. And yes love is not just the purpose. Everything is love. The sun is love, shining. The wind is love, blowing. The rain is love, pouring down and nurturing and cleansing.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

thankyou lancing (and Baile) for sharing your story.
blessings

[lancing]

I could have written this. I was in my early 30's, several years into an joyless and dysfunctional relationship. I found myself in a situation where I was once more being verbally abused and beaten down, when from out of nowhere it hit hit me how ridiculously hilarious all of it was. In the middle of being shouted at, I burst out laughing. I looked at the person shouting at me, and felt a mixture of pity and regret, and even a bit of genuine love. I grabbed my wallet and car keys, said "Goodbye," and walked out and never went back again.

The great cosmic comedy of life. And yes love is not just the purpose. Everything is love. The sun is love, shining. The wind is love, blowing. The rain is love, pouring down and nurturing and cleansing.

Cool! That story is actually quite funny! "Love is everything!" Oh, yes! Funny enough that's another part of why I laughed, because although I realized this weeks ago, I never really said it to myself...so it was like a clunk on the head and finally really felt real when I said it to myself and out loud. I felt it to be really quite remarkable. Oh, life is hilarious!

Thanks so much for sharing your story too!

Many Blessings! :hug2:

[Mr Interesting]

I've become more and more of a homebody... I like it, I enjoy it... then I go for little walks every so often.

The last few excursions in a car have had me hitting almost head on the absolute madness out there... which I don't really mind except it's just that much calmer at home, so I've been doing it all less and less.

But then yesterday it struck me I would go out. Go way out to the other side of this big sprawling city, straight into it's centre even and drop off a piece of kit I'd asked someone if they wanted and could come pick up... but he was incredibly busy and had just broken up with his beau... yadda, yadda, yadda, but then I'm seeing I can drop it off.

And wow... the motorway was clear... wheres all the traffic gone? This is sweet as.
And even right in the city centre I got a park right outside his place and carried this thing up the stairs to his lair and it was a cool little Oasis... quite yummy actually.

But then where are the denizens? I walk about and then hear some Bass, a little lick, so someone's somewhere and I wander into the big room and there he is waving behind the glass wall with all his glowing lights and knobs to twiddle... Okay right place for sure so I go and stand in the hallway by the closed door... for about three seconds then turn and leave to go do other things.

Long story short... what a sweet day. I just sailed through that big mad mess and it was like the red sea parted.... Wowwee!

Being appreciative and as gracious as we can whilst forgetting we might be anything at all is such a powerful accumulation of life catching up with us and all those good deeds we didn't even know we were doing being what life actually is.